It cant get any worse
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 119
Just thought I would update. Last night I overdosed and collapsed out the front of a supermarket. I woke in the hospital like an hour later with a tube in my nose, pulled it out along with the iv and ran from there.
I don't know why I did such a stupid thing. I felt like a doctor was patronising me. My head is very clouded and I'm not functioning well. It's like part of me has shut down. I'm on a blind autopilot.
Tomorrow I'm supposed to vacate my place. I called my parents before all this happened and I must have been pretty messed up because their advice was to go to rehab. You can't come here in this state etc etc. I was in no state to plead or argue. Fair enough...
So tomorrow as I wake to my first day of homelessness I am going to see the salvos in town and hopefully get into a detox just to start this off. I have lost control and I want it back
I don't know why I did such a stupid thing. I felt like a doctor was patronising me. My head is very clouded and I'm not functioning well. It's like part of me has shut down. I'm on a blind autopilot.
Tomorrow I'm supposed to vacate my place. I called my parents before all this happened and I must have been pretty messed up because their advice was to go to rehab. You can't come here in this state etc etc. I was in no state to plead or argue. Fair enough...
So tomorrow as I wake to my first day of homelessness I am going to see the salvos in town and hopefully get into a detox just to start this off. I have lost control and I want it back
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Forte, I'm so glad you are posting here; it means you want help.
I'm worried about you waiting until tomorrow to reach out in real life, though. Can you find it in yourself to ask for that help today? Can you go to a different hospital/ER? Will your parents help you to sort things out? I'm not sure how far things have gone with them, but I'd like to think if my kid called me in your situation and said, "You're right, I need help and I need it now - can you help me?" that I'd rise to the occasion.
If your parents can't be there to help you get somewhere safe today, can you call AA?
I'm worried about you waiting until tomorrow to reach out in real life, though. Can you find it in yourself to ask for that help today? Can you go to a different hospital/ER? Will your parents help you to sort things out? I'm not sure how far things have gone with them, but I'd like to think if my kid called me in your situation and said, "You're right, I need help and I need it now - can you help me?" that I'd rise to the occasion.
If your parents can't be there to help you get somewhere safe today, can you call AA?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 119
I'm off to detox in about 3 hours. No last drink, no last horah. I'm just done. I don't think my body could take anymore.
I feel like hell and my thoughts are black.
If anyone I struggling in their sobriety right now and thinking that a drink or drug sounds tempting, PLEASE learn from my actions.
This relapse has cost me my Partner, my job, my home and nearly my life. All in a few weeks.
Stay sober. It's so much better on the other side.
Peace and love to everyone on here.
I feel like hell and my thoughts are black.
If anyone I struggling in their sobriety right now and thinking that a drink or drug sounds tempting, PLEASE learn from my actions.
This relapse has cost me my Partner, my job, my home and nearly my life. All in a few weeks.
Stay sober. It's so much better on the other side.
Peace and love to everyone on here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: DFW area, Texas
Posts: 521
You're not bumming us out at all...we've all had our lows, be it financial, relationships, medical issues, legal troubles. Just resolve to make the next right decision (even if it's just getting a good night's sleep), then tomorrow you make the next right decision at that time (perhaps getting something to eat, then perhaps spending more time here on SR, etc)... After a while these good decisions start to add up and you will feel better and start building a mental record of positivity, small step by small step. Oh and having a drink at any time is never the right decision. I made that mistake more than a few times, even after almost a year of sobriety! Hang in there; we're all here for you! 
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