Another try at this
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Another try at this
TRYING AGAIN FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME...
I just listened to an NPR interview on opiod addiction (included below). One of the comments a guy on that interview made really hit home for me.
He talked about how for a long time, he'd love the way drugs and alcohol made him feel. Rewiring his life, his brain, himself in sobriety, he now says "I love the way I feel SOBER".
It seems like kind of a 'no brainer' thing to say. Like, yeah... OK. So I get it and 'duh'. But it really is a profound thing if you consider it deeply. Success in recovery, living life fully, being human.... It's not just about "not drinking" or "not using" - it's about reforming ourselves so that we come to LOVE ourselves. We come to Love the way we feel clean and sober. And that means we delve into all the uncomfortable things we used as excuses to drink or use in the first place. That means we come to a place of peace with those uncomfortable parts of us, so that we can embrace them as part of who we are and so that even on a bad day - we can truly LOVE the way we FEEL about us.... and love the way we feel. Sober.
Diggit.
I just listened to an NPR interview on opiod addiction (included below). One of the comments a guy on that interview made really hit home for me.
He talked about how for a long time, he'd love the way drugs and alcohol made him feel. Rewiring his life, his brain, himself in sobriety, he now says "I love the way I feel SOBER".
It seems like kind of a 'no brainer' thing to say. Like, yeah... OK. So I get it and 'duh'. But it really is a profound thing if you consider it deeply. Success in recovery, living life fully, being human.... It's not just about "not drinking" or "not using" - it's about reforming ourselves so that we come to LOVE ourselves. We come to Love the way we feel clean and sober. And that means we delve into all the uncomfortable things we used as excuses to drink or use in the first place. That means we come to a place of peace with those uncomfortable parts of us, so that we can embrace them as part of who we are and so that even on a bad day - we can truly LOVE the way we FEEL about us.... and love the way we feel. Sober.
Diggit.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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I posted this in my class thread this morning about how I was feeling today.
I think I was trying to say something similar....
I think I was trying to say something similar....
Originally Posted by tufty13 
Yet more random musings from the mind of Tufty....
I'm thinking that I'm no longer abstaining from alcohol because I don't want to drink anymore.
I'm now abstaining from alcohol because I actually want a better life, something far more fulfilling.
I'm not running away from anything anymore, Instead I'm running toward something.
I'll admit, I'm utterly p*ssed off with these hairpin bends but I'm treating them as a reminder to slow down and not rush.
The not rushing bit could be interpreted as giving myself some love and some kindness, just as i would one of my daughters. To not beat myself up because I'm not a certain way, or doing a certain thing.
If I constantly think "I should be like this" or "I should be like that" I am going to remain stuck in a state of fearfulness.
Ho-hum, I'm definitely in a better place today and I'm gradually scraping the Copydex from the bottom of my shoes.
I'm thinking that I'm no longer abstaining from alcohol because I don't want to drink anymore.
I'm now abstaining from alcohol because I actually want a better life, something far more fulfilling.
I'm not running away from anything anymore, Instead I'm running toward something.
I'll admit, I'm utterly p*ssed off with these hairpin bends but I'm treating them as a reminder to slow down and not rush.
The not rushing bit could be interpreted as giving myself some love and some kindness, just as i would one of my daughters. To not beat myself up because I'm not a certain way, or doing a certain thing.
If I constantly think "I should be like this" or "I should be like that" I am going to remain stuck in a state of fearfulness.
Ho-hum, I'm definitely in a better place today and I'm gradually scraping the Copydex from the bottom of my shoes.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I'm still working at it, one day at a time. Once I got over the initial withdrawal, it was nice to start liking how I felt.
Nice post Owl. For a second I was worried that you'd gone off the deep end. Glad that isn't the case.
Tufty, great insight. I like the hairpin bends analogy. Slow and steady wins the race.
Nice post Owl. For a second I was worried that you'd gone off the deep end. Glad that isn't the case.
Tufty, great insight. I like the hairpin bends analogy. Slow and steady wins the race.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Not drinking was only my first step in creating the person I wanted to be and living the life I wanted. If my sober life was not so much better there would be no reason to put forth the effort that keeps me sober
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