another day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 16
another day
So this is my second post, I've gone another day and because of how badly my drinking screwed everything up for me i don't even desire it. I hate it and i don't have any thirst for it. I'm pissed off and upset at where i am right now.
I miss my daughter and my wife, i miss being the man they loved. I miss seeing them and holding them and being a person. I'm furious and angry, i don't need alcohol i need them.
I miss my daughter and my wife, i miss being the man they loved. I miss seeing them and holding them and being a person. I'm furious and angry, i don't need alcohol i need them.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I was angry too, when I finally stopped drinking. I was angry at myself for allowing alcoholism to take over my life. Try to focus on recovery and living your life without alcohol. Do you have a plan to help you stop drinking?
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
Welcome to SR!
As people, many of us are pretty willing to forgive others if they ask for forgiveness and seem sincere.
Often, we don't have the same standard for ourselves.
Stop beating yourself up, you can't change the past. I found that the program of AA helped me accept the past and forgive myself. And I found being able to live with myself, and forgive myself, helped me to stay sober.
And I found that when I became comfortable with myself, and cared for myself, others seemed to care more about me too.
As people, many of us are pretty willing to forgive others if they ask for forgiveness and seem sincere.
Often, we don't have the same standard for ourselves.
Stop beating yourself up, you can't change the past. I found that the program of AA helped me accept the past and forgive myself. And I found being able to live with myself, and forgive myself, helped me to stay sober.
And I found that when I became comfortable with myself, and cared for myself, others seemed to care more about me too.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 579
I felt that way too, it was 2 months ago. Things have gotten better. I feel better, look better and some of the damage is beginning to clear. 30 years of drinking, I expect it to take awhile. But this isn't about me, it's about you Infrared. It's important you use your anger as impetus to DO something now to stay sober. What helped me:
1. I finally thoroughly admitted I couldn't control drinking. I'm alcoholic. I can't take ONE more drink.
2. I went to AA
3.I changed my pattern, I don't go place I use to drink, drive by liquor stores I use to shop, see friends I drank with-now I see a few of them but it's been almost 2 months.
4. Make plans to do something other than sit at home when I would normally drink.
5. Read a lot about AV.
I hope some of this helps you. A big part of my quitting was simply mechanical/physical things you can do. If you don't do some things differently quitting becomes much more difficult.
One last thing. I only quit for one day, today. tomorrow takes care of it's self. One Day at a Time.
1. I finally thoroughly admitted I couldn't control drinking. I'm alcoholic. I can't take ONE more drink.
2. I went to AA
3.I changed my pattern, I don't go place I use to drink, drive by liquor stores I use to shop, see friends I drank with-now I see a few of them but it's been almost 2 months.
4. Make plans to do something other than sit at home when I would normally drink.
5. Read a lot about AV.
I hope some of this helps you. A big part of my quitting was simply mechanical/physical things you can do. If you don't do some things differently quitting becomes much more difficult.
One last thing. I only quit for one day, today. tomorrow takes care of it's self. One Day at a Time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 16
I'm currently going to AA, not much because i don't feel comfortable. I'm going to try and find other locations that could possibly click.
I've found and scheduled visits with a therapist which start monday. I surround myself with Family and Friends, i've admitted my problem to the people who care about me and i've been brutally honest without holding back for the feeling of shame or embarassment. I'm done hiding it or being a closet drinker so people don't judge me. I'm also done with being afraid.
As my previous topic i posted, i'm getting well for me. I will win this i will beat my addiction and i will become whole. Venting here and ready all of you folks words is probably some of the best help and inspiration i could ask for.
I am an Alcoholic, i do have a problem. However i accept the solution!
Thank you again guys/gals!
I've found and scheduled visits with a therapist which start monday. I surround myself with Family and Friends, i've admitted my problem to the people who care about me and i've been brutally honest without holding back for the feeling of shame or embarassment. I'm done hiding it or being a closet drinker so people don't judge me. I'm also done with being afraid.
As my previous topic i posted, i'm getting well for me. I will win this i will beat my addiction and i will become whole. Venting here and ready all of you folks words is probably some of the best help and inspiration i could ask for.
I am an Alcoholic, i do have a problem. However i accept the solution!
Thank you again guys/gals!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 16
I actually created my own phrase i say. and i just repeat it over and over again. It's like my counting to 10 just with more inspiring words.
Nights are still the roughest just because i don't want to sleep, i don't care about sleeping and it takes me being awake well over 24hrs to finally feel even remotely tired. Sucks is no one i know is a night owl, so i'm typically up on the couch (also known as my bed) watching movies and on my phone finding stupid **** to take up time.
I've tried doing alot to sleep, was tempted to try Nyquil or Zquil but then i thought..... yeah, that's smart. you have an addiction problem lets use something like that to get you to sleep so you switch from alcohol to that..... smart...
Nights are still the roughest just because i don't want to sleep, i don't care about sleeping and it takes me being awake well over 24hrs to finally feel even remotely tired. Sucks is no one i know is a night owl, so i'm typically up on the couch (also known as my bed) watching movies and on my phone finding stupid **** to take up time.
I've tried doing alot to sleep, was tempted to try Nyquil or Zquil but then i thought..... yeah, that's smart. you have an addiction problem lets use something like that to get you to sleep so you switch from alcohol to that..... smart...
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