SoberLeigh

Welcome back, Mike. I have really missed you and the perspective you bring to SR.

I am sorry to hear that you have been drinking.. I truly hope that you find that 'absolute/never, ever to go back/stick with it no matter what' commitment that it takes to achieve sobriety and recovery. You are young and have so very much going for you but alcoholism is progressive and takes who and what you are and have, bit by bit and sometimes in massive chunks, until you find yourself in darkness.

Stop now while you still have so much to lose.

I am, and we are, with you 100% of the way, Mike.

I am so very glad that you are back.

fini

But I will say that I don't plan to drink this evening.

hi Mike,

just to point out that there's a huge difference between not planning to drink and planning not to drink.

Nonsensical

+1

mns1

Thanks so much SobrLeigh it feels good to be posting again!

Thank you fini I have already rephrased it that way to myself and have my plan to not drink in place.

dwtbd

Great to see you back.
Look how your thinking has changed just from the top of the thread, awesome.
(way to go SR and you!)
There is nothing external that can interfere with your plan. Don't change your mind on the plan and plan to not change your mind about that. I am fairly confident you will not regret that plan tomorrow , and confident that not changing your mind will not bring any regrets, the AV will get pissed and restless but so what, it's your mind , don't change it

PurpleKnight

Welcome back Mike!!

SoberLeigh

, mns

mcflurry

I'm like you Mike, slightly older (31) and an evening drinker. It's scary though, I could almost predict the problem getting worse as I kept drinking as I have no ability to say no after that first drink. Sometimes I would exercise 'self control' and decline, but my brain really didn't like that. It went: 'wine wine wine wine WINE WINE WINE WINE GIVE ME WINE FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!!') Not a relaxing way to spend an evening!

I can see, very easily, how people end up drinking all day. Nobody chooses to do that. Nobody chooses to drink first thing in the morning. But many people end up needing to thanks to the progressive nature of alcoholism that they have no control over.

I too feel anxious at the thought of not drinking again, but I don't want to end up in that situation, which will inevitably happen if I continue to do so. So I've stopped, and am taking it one day at a time. I'm glad you are back and have decided to stop too.

Good luck!

mns1

Thanks mcflurry I'd say my drinking has been a problem for a good 5 years now and sometimes I wonder how it hasn't progressed at all beyond simply buzzing up every night. But I'm not about to let it get there.

I'm going to focus on one day at a time as well. My intention is to not drink today. I will worry about tomorrow (let alone forever) as it unfolds.

mcflurry

I'm with you, Mike. I'm not going to drink today, either.

Plus,hangovers really do suck ass.

mns1

Yes. Yes they do lol

Here's to no more hangovers (raises bottle of water)!

mav

Hey Mike. I'm pleased to see how your language has changed even through the course of this thread. It's so much better to grab this with both hands and take control, rather than let chance take over. Well done.

FWIW, you said earlier that you fear that your drinking might progress to worse if you don't do something. I just wanted to say there is no might about it. If you don't change, it WILL get worse. End of.

Best of luck on your journey with this. Peace.

mns1

Thank you MAV! I believe you 100%. I need to end this now.

So now is my moment of truth. Just got home for the night. This is usually when I whip out the alcohol and start drinking.

But I don't really feel like it. I'll read/keeping checking in on here instead.

Thanks everyone!

Obladi

You go, Mike.

This is how it starts. With getting through this evening. As you know, there is a ton of reading material here to keep you engaged for as many hours as you choose. And then you can switch over to youtube and watch TED talks or other interesting lectures. About sobriety or positive change or any thing that crosses your mind, really.

It gets a little bit easier every day, you know.

chrcarlson

Normal drinkers don't have a problem not drinking. I try not to think of never drinking again. Never is a long time, one day is a much smaller bite. I just think of today, tomorrow handles it self.

fini

when your "voice" yells for winewineWINE, try changing it to "gimme Ethanol! C2H6O right now!"
sounds a whole lot less appealing, no?

more like just what it is.

kinda like saying "i'm gonna have some cow now!" instead of thinking of steak

mns1

Thanks everyone!

On to day 2. I didn't sleep very well but I am sober and honestly feel way more focused and alert than if I got 10 hours of alcohol-induced "sleep".

One day at a time.

Dee74

welcome back mns

D

mns1

Thank you Dee!

uncorked

Hey Mike, I was an evening drinker for years. I halfheartedly "tried" to quit for a long time. As I got older, it was harder and harder to wake up and feel good -- even though I was drinking the same amount. Plus, it wreaked havoc on my marriage...which is why I'm going through a divorce now. :-( But I've been sober since Oct. 18 (thanks to rehab) and it feels really good. I'd be lying if I said I never crave a drink....but it's not worth it now. Good luck!