Explosive Temper
 

Hi all! I've been poking around this website for a couple weeks before finally joining today. I've been dry since 11/4/15 and until now, hadn't thought I needed support.
I have been an alcoholic for 25 years, perhaps more. (Wow, that's a crazy feeling admitting that!) Like most, it started off slowly. Once in a while grew to 2 bottles of wine (+) every single night.
I was introduced to booze at the tender age of 14 by my 10 years older sister (who is also an alcoholic, all 5 of my siblings are as was my father). Alcohol was a once in a while fun thing to do until the early '90s when it became more regular. And over the years, the frequency and amount kept increasing.
I never had major problems because of my drinking. No law problems, marriage or family problems. Maybe if I had, my drinking wouldn't have gone on for so many years. I just knew I had to quit or it was going to kill me.
So I did on November 4, 2015. Almost 3 months ago. I'm amazed. I have tried many times to quit in the last 15 years and the longest I was able to go without a drink was 3 months. I celebrate 3 dry months on Feb. 4 (I did it through the holidays!). It's kind of a big one for me and I can't help but be a bit proud of myself.
When I first quit, the depression was pretty bad for a couple weeks. I was mourning the loss of my best friend. But then the clouds parted and the sun came out and I felt great. And I still feel great...for the most part. My problem, my reason for asking for support and advice, is that my temper has become a bit explosive and excessive. I'm usually pretty even tempered. Is this part of withdrawal?
Thanks to all involved in this website. I think you are all doing a wonderful thing!

Carpenters have a saying: "Measure twice, cut once."

In my struggles with my own temper, which can get pretty hot, I've found a lot of use in a permutation I've made of the above quote: "Think twice, speak once." When I hear or see or experience something that upsets me, I'm finding it useful to stop and think about my response rather than speaking or acting out of impulse.

It's an ongoing thing.

Welcome Lynnmarie

Welcome to the Forum Lynnmarie!! :wave:

Not initial withdrawals, but perhaps PAWS.

Recovery is more than just not drinking. It's learning to cope with life sober. If sobriety is revealing anger issues, you need to find a way to manage it, especially if anger was something you dealt with by drinking. Because it could lead you back to alcohol.

Welcome to the family and congrats on 3 months sober! :scoregood I remember my emotions being all over the place in early recovery. With more sober time they settled down. Give yourself time. :hug:

Welcome to SR, lynnmarie!

That's the thing. Anger has never been an issue with me, sober or not. It seems like emotions are closer to the surface. I cry easily, laugh easily. I was just wondering if this was normal.

When I stopped drinking, I began to experience a lot of anger. It was not a fun time and it took some work to get through it. I eventually learned that my anger was directed at myself. I was furious with myself for messing up my life and becoming an addict. Journaling was really helpful for me to work through those emotions.

Congratulations on your recovery!

Hi Lynnmarie and welcome to SR. Congratulations on 3 months! That's huge.

I still struggle with anger. It was a bigger issue when I first quit. It is normal and it will get better. I try to take time outs for myself. Counting to ten before responding works. As does the serenity prayer. Even if you aren't religious, it is helpful to understand that we have no control over other people or things, only ourselves and our reactions. We do have a choice.

Hope to see you around.

Congratulations on 3 months lynnmarie!!

Welcome and well done on 3 months! You are right to be proud.
I'm a bit of an angry head too and I'm trying to observe it rather than act on it. This is a lot easier when I'm alone of course! It's an ongoing issue and I don't suppose I've got the solution just yet. What I have noticed though, is that's it's not as bad as it was a few months ago, so that's encouraging. Also when I can observe it, I've noticed the reasons (justifications) change, but the feelings are just the same, like the anger needs an outlet whatever the supposed cause. I think I'm coming to the same conclusion as Anna, I'm angry with myself.
Sorry to ramble, hope my experience is useful.
Good luck
xx

Thanks, Far To Go, that's exactly how I feel, like the anger has to get out. And I am disappointed in myself and angry that I wasted all those years (not to mention money!). What I have accomplished in the last 3 months, not being a drunken lump every night is staggering. Imagine what could I have accomplished in the last 25 years or so? Such a waste. But I can't change that, so I will dwell on the positive and the future. It's looking hopeful and bright.

Welcome lynnmarie! I'm 17 days and my emotions are like crazy train.

Just today, on a conference call for work, I became so overwhelmed that I put myself on mute and started sobbing. No reason, lol. I just felt overwhelmed.

Dogslover, The early days are so rollercoaster. It's like the emotions have been numbed for so long and now that veil is lifted or the bandage is ripped off. It'll get better. It has been for me, slowly. It's just those angry outbursts. I gotta start counting to 10 or ask myself, "What would Spock do?"

Agreed. Part of the deal for many of us. Will get better.

That was my first post 1 month and a half ago and I have to say that things have changed greatly and are looking up.
The incident that prompted me to write that first post was that I spilled a glass of water, soaking everything on the desk. I just lost it. Kicked, screamed, slammed and threw. It was like a 2 year old temper tantrum. Wow.
Today, I pulled the same damn move. I am a clumsy tea-totaller. Instead, of losing it, I quickly picked things up and got a towel. I only mumbled, oh, damn. I even smiled as I thought, Well this needed cleaning anyway, as I proceeded to wipe everything down.
So, my brain is healing. It's so nice to see improvements.
Hang in there if your mood is all over the place.
It just keeps getting better!