Hopeful to be sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 16
Hopeful to be sober
Hello All!
Today is my 2nd true day of being sober. I've been drinking pretty constantly since i was 17, I'm currently 29.
My entire life was turned upside down when my wife finally had enough and said she wanted a divorce. She has been upset with me in the past for my drinking and i'd slow down and stop for a small duration. I'd always find a way to get a few drinks in.
I don't go out to drink, Typically at home by myself on my computer while i watch movies or play video games. It's been a way of life for me since i was younger and i've always enjoyed a few good beers while i play video games.
This has caused me to sleep in and ignore my wife and my child, it's caused me to miss work sometimes and also i just feel like trash.
I'm partly doing this because after 29yrs on this planet i met the woman of my dreams and i'm probably going to lose her and my daughter. However, i really am doing this for me. I don't want to be this way and i don't want to require something to make me happy when i should be able to find happiness from the woman i married and my daughter without issue.
Recently i've been doing to AA and talking to other people who are having the same problem as i am. I've talked to people who have been sober for days and others who have been sober half their lives. It's been inspiring to listen to them and converse.
I found this site through google and was wondering what to do with my nights. I'm lonely and i don't have my girls so nights are the hardest for me to get through. I lay in bed (my mothers couch) for hours on end just looking at the ceiling hating what i've done and who i've become. I fight my urges to drink by looking at pictures of my wife and daughter and telling myself drinking is what cost you them.
Any way, i've been browsing the forums for a bit and finally just wanted to dive in and post and introduce myself. I want to find better ways of spending my time at night when i can't sleep so i figure these forums and reading would be a big help.
Thank you.
Today is my 2nd true day of being sober. I've been drinking pretty constantly since i was 17, I'm currently 29.
My entire life was turned upside down when my wife finally had enough and said she wanted a divorce. She has been upset with me in the past for my drinking and i'd slow down and stop for a small duration. I'd always find a way to get a few drinks in.
I don't go out to drink, Typically at home by myself on my computer while i watch movies or play video games. It's been a way of life for me since i was younger and i've always enjoyed a few good beers while i play video games.
This has caused me to sleep in and ignore my wife and my child, it's caused me to miss work sometimes and also i just feel like trash.
I'm partly doing this because after 29yrs on this planet i met the woman of my dreams and i'm probably going to lose her and my daughter. However, i really am doing this for me. I don't want to be this way and i don't want to require something to make me happy when i should be able to find happiness from the woman i married and my daughter without issue.
Recently i've been doing to AA and talking to other people who are having the same problem as i am. I've talked to people who have been sober for days and others who have been sober half their lives. It's been inspiring to listen to them and converse.
I found this site through google and was wondering what to do with my nights. I'm lonely and i don't have my girls so nights are the hardest for me to get through. I lay in bed (my mothers couch) for hours on end just looking at the ceiling hating what i've done and who i've become. I fight my urges to drink by looking at pictures of my wife and daughter and telling myself drinking is what cost you them.
Any way, i've been browsing the forums for a bit and finally just wanted to dive in and post and introduce myself. I want to find better ways of spending my time at night when i can't sleep so i figure these forums and reading would be a big help.
Thank you.
just keep swimming
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 504
Hey, IR. Welcome to SR. You've made a big first step in joining and posting.
Sounds like you've got a lot to live for and a few amends to make. The best way to make up to your wife and daughter is to get yourself straight. Don't rush anything with them - just get yourself sorted.
First step is to make a plan. There's a lot of really useful stuff on SR, have a read and find something that works for you.
We're to help you with this. Trust me when I say that life really is better sober.
Sounds like you've got a lot to live for and a few amends to make. The best way to make up to your wife and daughter is to get yourself straight. Don't rush anything with them - just get yourself sorted.
First step is to make a plan. There's a lot of really useful stuff on SR, have a read and find something that works for you.
We're to help you with this. Trust me when I say that life really is better sober.
just keep swimming
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 504
Ps. You could start here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
The support here has helped me stay sober over six years now. I hope we can help you get sober too. 
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Hi and Welcome,
I always find inspiration when I read around the forums here and I think you will too. I'm sorry for the problems with your wife and daughter, but I am glad that you have decided to change your life.
I always find inspiration when I read around the forums here and I think you will too. I'm sorry for the problems with your wife and daughter, but I am glad that you have decided to change your life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Welcome!
What to do with nights? Good question, man - I felt the same way early on. What the heck do people do after 5pm when they are not drinking???
Lemme tell ya: it'll sound boring at first. Your body and mind are kicking and screaming that you are TOO COOL to go to the grocery store after work. That you are TOO EXTREME to cook dinner on the stove. That you are TOO MUCH OF A REBEL to make popcorn and watch TV before bed.
Well, you're not. That's exactly what you should be doing, because that's how the other 90% of the world operates.
Tonight I went to the market after work, bought a watermelon and a pineapple. Stopped for firewood. Came home and cooked up some tuna. Watched some TV. And pretty soon I'll be heading to bed. It's just life, man. You can do it. Don't let your "AV" (alcoholic voice) tell you otherwise.
Oh - find a good TV show and download a bunch of episodes to watch on your laptop. That way, you can have something to look forward to in the evenings. If TV is not your thing, grab a book or listen to a podcast. Just develop some kind of "mindless habit" for a while to cool your jets. Welcome aboard!
What to do with nights? Good question, man - I felt the same way early on. What the heck do people do after 5pm when they are not drinking???
Lemme tell ya: it'll sound boring at first. Your body and mind are kicking and screaming that you are TOO COOL to go to the grocery store after work. That you are TOO EXTREME to cook dinner on the stove. That you are TOO MUCH OF A REBEL to make popcorn and watch TV before bed.
Well, you're not. That's exactly what you should be doing, because that's how the other 90% of the world operates.
Tonight I went to the market after work, bought a watermelon and a pineapple. Stopped for firewood. Came home and cooked up some tuna. Watched some TV. And pretty soon I'll be heading to bed. It's just life, man. You can do it. Don't let your "AV" (alcoholic voice) tell you otherwise.
Oh - find a good TV show and download a bunch of episodes to watch on your laptop. That way, you can have something to look forward to in the evenings. If TV is not your thing, grab a book or listen to a podcast. Just develop some kind of "mindless habit" for a while to cool your jets. Welcome aboard!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome to SR, Infrared! I'm glad you found us. I hope you'll stick around make this place your home. I'm sorry that booze had brought you so low, but there is hope! You can change. You can't change the past but you can have a different future. Maybe you will be able to regain some of what you lost and at least have a relationship with your kids. And as much as you've already lost, remember there's more still to lose if you don't make the change.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: London
Posts: 2,040
Originally Posted by bigsombrero 
Welcome!
What to do with nights? Good question, man - I felt the same way early on. What the heck do people do after 5pm when they are not drinking???
Lemme tell ya: it'll sound boring at first. Your body and mind are kicking and screaming that you are TOO COOL to go to the grocery store after work. That you are TOO EXTREME to cook dinner on the stove. That you are TOO MUCH OF A REBEL to make popcorn and watch TV before bed.
Well, you're not. That's exactly what you should be doing, because that's how the other 90% of the world operates.
Tonight I went to the market after work, bought a watermelon and a pineapple. Stopped for firewood. Came home and cooked up some tuna. Watched some TV. And pretty soon I'll be heading to bed. It's just life, man. You can do it. Don't let your "AV" (alcoholic voice) tell you otherwise.
Oh - find a good TV show and download a bunch of episodes to watch on your laptop. That way, you can have something to look forward to in the evenings. If TV is not your thing, grab a book or listen to a podcast. Just develop some kind of "mindless habit" for a while to cool your jets. Welcome aboard!
What to do with nights? Good question, man - I felt the same way early on. What the heck do people do after 5pm when they are not drinking???
Lemme tell ya: it'll sound boring at first. Your body and mind are kicking and screaming that you are TOO COOL to go to the grocery store after work. That you are TOO EXTREME to cook dinner on the stove. That you are TOO MUCH OF A REBEL to make popcorn and watch TV before bed.
Well, you're not. That's exactly what you should be doing, because that's how the other 90% of the world operates.
Tonight I went to the market after work, bought a watermelon and a pineapple. Stopped for firewood. Came home and cooked up some tuna. Watched some TV. And pretty soon I'll be heading to bed. It's just life, man. You can do it. Don't let your "AV" (alcoholic voice) tell you otherwise.
Oh - find a good TV show and download a bunch of episodes to watch on your laptop. That way, you can have something to look forward to in the evenings. If TV is not your thing, grab a book or listen to a podcast. Just develop some kind of "mindless habit" for a while to cool your jets. Welcome aboard!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 16
It's weird amazing so far the response i've gotten from you folks. It's been warming and while i'm sitting here at 2:48am depressed and upset. just missing my Wife and Daughter, I was able to atleast redirect my attention for a brief moment to read something kind and uplifting.
I appreciate it, i've spent alot of time on this forum reading how so many people.. complete strangers who have nothing to gain out of being kind or just taking 2 seconds out of their day to send a message of encouragement. It warms my heart and gives me hope.
Thanks those who took the time to comment. I really do appreciate it.
I appreciate it, i've spent alot of time on this forum reading how so many people.. complete strangers who have nothing to gain out of being kind or just taking 2 seconds out of their day to send a message of encouragement. It warms my heart and gives me hope.
Thanks those who took the time to comment. I really do appreciate it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 325
Hi and welcome to SR. It seems like you are really motivated to do this which is great. I've been sober nearly 6 weeks. The 2 things that have really helped me are, spending lots of time on this site reading and posting. This has been key for me. And the most important thing I have learned is not to think about drinking. If the thought comes into your head get rid of it as quickly as possible. Stamp on it ! Get busy ! Whatever you need to do to just get it out of there. I relapsed before Christmas and I recognise that it was because I was letting the thoughts of drinking romance me. Letting them stay in my head. I hope you stick around and send you strength. And yes giving up drinking leaves space, an opportunity to find lots of much more productive things to fill your time with. You can do this !
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
