sobersolstice

I was fairly active on here while I went through my first go at hopping on the wagon. I basically hit rock bottom, and lost everything. Deemed the sauce as poison and took 6 months off. Here's where I messed up. I went to a Christmas party and thought I could handle a few beers, but before taking a drink, called friends and family to hear their opinion. Most said it would be a slippery slope, and the last person I called was not the right person as he was a party friend. Needless to say, I started back right where I left off.

Now in my mid 30's, still trying to get my act together, feeling lazy and unmotivated, I know that alcohol is a primary contributor to my lack of productivity and motivation. I've taken weeks and months off, but the bright, positive feeling that I had when I first tried to stop doesn't seem to come around. I can still go to bars and parties a few days or weeks after stopping and not drink, but I get bored. There's a part of me that keeps saying that I can stop again, which perpetuates the problem. "Oh, I did 6 months, so I can stop again"... And the vicious cycle continues.

My last stint at stopping was NYE. I even made sure to not drink past midnight. That lasted 18 days, then an ex called and things got weird. I was already having an awful day, and told myself I didn't care anymore. So here I am. I know that my life isn't perfect, and there's nothing I can do to change the past, but I'm just lonely. No real family, I've lost good friends (or they're too busy), no siblings, and just feel alone.

What approach did you take to quit, for those who've tried many times? It seems more difficult, rather easier to fall off the wagon once you've fallen off once. I know I don't need it anymore. I've known this for a long time, but keep falling back in the trap. Many, like myself use a specific day, like New Years to quit, but I know that it's not about the day. It's just another day, though somewhat symbolic. Some people just wake up one day and stop. Maybe I'll just do that.

SoberinSyracuse

I'm on my third attempt and it's going well. This time has a completely different flavor to it.

My first two times I "swore off" after a bad episode and went to AA meetings (which aren't helpful to me). I had a brief medical detox which was nothing more than supervised cold turkey. I didn't make any effort to change my attitudes, habits, or lifestyle. Both times, after a few weeks, I thought I could have a drink. Before long, I was back to heavy daily drinking.

This time, I took a totally different approach. I had failed twice on my own so I wasn't going to be stupid about it and do the same thing again, hoping for different results. From personal experience and statistics, I wasn't encouraged by the success rates of traditional treatments. An alcohol counselor told me about the role of amino acids in restoring proper brain function and reducing relapse rates -- stopping cravings, sleeping normally, having a stable mood, good concentration, etc. From there, I did extensive research on my own and decided to get IV amino acid therapy.

This forced me to have a lot more skin in the game. It was expensive and disruptive (over two weeks away from home and business). However, I got exceptional results. I'm 23 days sober -- my personal record -- and I've experienced only one craving in all that time. Not a hint of physical or psychological discomfort, not even around alcohol. But yes, I do participate in recovery groups. Even with the physiological addiction solved, there are still social and behavioral components I'm working on.

So, that's my story for what it's worth. I think the most important thing is: Don't waste time repeating things that haven't worked. Change it up somehow. Change the approach, add more resources, etc. Others will chime in with ideas...

Here's to your sobriety!

least

Glad you're giving sobriety another go. I was a chronic relapser and my withdrawals each relapse were worse and worse. I finally just got so sick and tired of waking up feeling horrible and hating myself. I stopped drinking and didn't look back.

I had weekly sessions with an addiction counselor for the first few years of my recovery. She was very helpful, in all areas of my life. I also made daily visits to this site, to read and post. The support here is awesome.

It's been over six years now and my life is better than ever. Sober, I can do anything, and do it better.

I hope the support here can help you get sober for good. It takes effort and some changes, but is so worth it.

PurpleKnight

Welcome back Sobersolstice!!

First up I needed acceptance that alcohol was now firmly off the table, no more moderation experiments, that fairytale that things will be different this time despite nothing materially having changed, no more trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, these were the cards I was dealt, so time to get on with it.

Next up was a daily dose of support, I could have all the good intentions, hoping, wishing, dreaming, but at the end of the day in isolation my addiction wanted me to drink and it would sell me every fairytale and reason I should and get away with it without a second opinion to short circuit my own own thoughts, having something outside of myself to keep me focused on the task at hand was paramount.

Finally a change up of the activities I was getting involved in and the people I was hanging out with, continuing to do the same things and expecting different results was where I was going wrong for a long time, my habits, my routines, all had to change, I had to make Sobriety happen through my decisions, some radical choices, revolutionise my lifestyle to that of a non drinker!!

You can do this!!

SoberLife90

Hello! I am giving sobriety my best shot the first time around. What I have found that works for myself is being honest. As far as having a few drinks there is no way I could manage to only have a few. That's the way we alcoholics are! We are all or nothing people and if 2 feel good 10 will feel better. I can't change the fact that I cannot have even 1 drink. What I can do is stay honest with myself. I needed to surrender! I knew that if I went back to drinking I would drink in the only way I know how. It is pure insanity to believe that I could make it through a night and only consume a few drinks, especially considering how I would usually drink until I passed out due to excess consumption.

You can do this! Keep coming back here and continue asking for help. I attend AA meetings and I try to do the right thing to continue growing and moving forward. If I don't continue to grow I may slip back into my old thinking and fall back into my old ways of drinking. Good luck!

Jsbodhi

I just stopped one day, I don't even know my sober date.
I quit and relapsed so many times it seemed ridiculous to keep counting my days.
So I just stopped.
I just had to rearrange my life- do hobbies, get outside, eat well.
What helps me is to picture the type of person I want to be, and what I want my life to look like- then work towards getting there.
Its not always easy- but I'm happy.

sobersolstice

It's weird. I can totally disassociate with it. I can go to bars and parties without drinking as I did the first couple weeks after I stopped. I put up a fort knox kind of barrier to alcohol and drink ginger ale, saying to myself "this tastes way better". The barrier sometimes disappears when I least expect it, and I panic through my mind trying to find it like a lost wallet. This is when I don't want to be finding my wallet.

I honestly think I just need to take my life more seriously instead of labeling myself this or that and be true to myself. By 'seriously', I think I just need to respect myself more; primarily my health. I've already wasted so much time, money, and need to reassess the one thing that needs to change.

Jsbodhi

I was walking by the river today and thinking the same thing.
I was thinking its time to start respecting myself and my health after I was to busy neglecting myself because I was more interested in wine.

sobersolstice

The all or nothing mentality is definitely something that plays a role in my addiction. I'd always been an adrenaline junkie who puts himself in precarious positions. My activities are healthy due to their outdoor and athletic aspects, but one mistake would take me out for good. Now that I've blown out my knees and broken so many bones, I no longer have that adrenaline rush to keep me excited because I've toned down my level of risk. I guess it's time to take that to the next level and cut out the sauce so I can grow as a human in this short span of time we call life. I need to get used to a stable life. I've always lived on a rollercoaster, and need to find a way to enjoy a straight road.

Anna

Well, I think there's a lot to be said for balance in life.

I hope that you decide to stop drinking for good.

Delilah1

Hello and Welcome Back!!

I also joined in 2012, and have 32 days today. I had several sober stretches over the past few years, but kept falling back into the mindset of "I can moderate my drinking." Well, I can't! This time I am on SR throughout the day, using Women For Sobriety, doing a lot of reading and journaling, exercise, and also mindfulness (which I struggle with, but I am working on!!)

I also have a sober buddy who started again the same day as me and we check in on each other daily, and we text each other if we have any urges, that has been helpful as well.

I have made myself a promise that this time will stick, and I am determined that it will. Would love to have another SR member from 2012 along with me on this journey!!

We can do this.

❤️Delilah

sobersolstice

Thanks Delilah.

I did something similar with someone I was dating for a few months and we said we'd do at least a month (I called it a 'cleanse'). She went out for drinks one day and left me the next day after meeting someone else. I messed up that evening; badly. I think the team thing could work if both parties are committed, but ultimately, I know from the bottom of my heart that I have to do it for myself. My problem is that I stopped taking it seriously, when in reality, it hurts everything.

Delilah1

I have stopped taking it seriously in the past as well, not going to do that this time!! Glad you are back:-)

Steely

.......and bars ARE boring. Welcome back SoberSolstace.

ZeldaFan

I joined in 2013 and I have 16 days sober today. My longest stretch was just shy of eight months which ended in June of 2014. I've learned a lot along the way and I feel very confident this time. I've figured out what seems to work for me, what doesn't work and where I let my mindset go wrong before.

My family isn't very supportive, I'm an only child, my friends are all married with kids now (I'm in my early 30s) and I'm single so I get the loneliness factor. I do have a select few friends who I can reach out to when needed and who keep tabs on me to make sure all is well so that's good. Additionally, I've been keeping a journal of my recovery this time around (it's not hard to find given my username is in the title). Perhaps reading some of it would be helpful to you. It's my daily commitment to myself with the hope it may help others along the way as well. Stay strong and I know you can do this!

sobersolstice

I remember going to a local pool hall/bar right Jan 4th, and looking around at the people at the bar. My friends were just having a beer and focused on pool, and that was fun (I drank sprite), but I never want to be that guy at the bar. I looked at everyone (apart from my peers), and found so many empty souls. It was ghostly.

Thanks.

doggonecarl

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sobersolstice

I read your post, and used an indecisive word with regard to stopping just to think of it as an option. I was going to argue semantics, but it made me think, which is important in this endeavor.

doggonecarl

I replied to your first post without reading subsequent posts in the same thread. You sounded more committed in those so I yanked my post. But words are important. They often reflect one's state of mind.

Hope you succeed.