notsosober77

I have had no alcohol since the last time I posted, late December. Until last week. I was alone all day one day with more or less nothing to do and I decided to buy a 12 pack. I drank a few quickly like I always used to do. Then the rest slowly, just to "maintain" the buz.

It was never pleasant. Right from the start I felt kind of sick. Not like I would vomit but like a headache and dizziness. I finished it all off bc, well I'm the kind of person that once I start something I finish it, lol. But it got more and more unpleasant the longer I drank.

I'm back to no drinking again now. I think I'm done. I mean what is the point. I tested it and found I don't like it anymore. It is not like it used to be for me.

least

I hope this time you are successful at staying sober for good.

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, notsosober.

Do whatever it takes to make sobriety stick. Staying close to, and involved with, SR can really help to keep your sobriety and recovery front-and-center.

Sobriety rocks.

doggonecarl

We alcoholics have a terrible memory when it comes to using what we learned from our last drink.

I sure you've vowed never to drink again...only to drink.

So put a plan in place to cover those moments when drinking will suddenly feel like a good idea, because it will. It is just part of the insanity of alcoholism. We drink, even when we hate it.

bigsombrero

Good luck, welcome, and keep posting!

Sobriety is a long, long road. Staying sober for a few weeks at a time isn't going to help the condition. It's so easy to relapse if you don't have a plan for every situation. Do your best to surround yourself with positive people, places, and keep alcohol away from your house (and even out of your sight, if needed!) for a long time. You can do this, it starts with today! Good luck again!

Blacky

Good that you will give being sober another try, you're going to start not drinking right ?

Looking into a plan and support might be helpful. Hang in there.
You might also consider changing your user name by writing the admin.

notsosober77

Yes, I'm already on day 5.

Several others have mentioned a plan as well. Like what? I mean I do plan on resisting the temptation but I get the feeling maybe there is more to what you and others are calling a plan.

I can't go to AA. Small town with no secular AA options. What else is there to a plan?

Soberwolf

Good to see you welcome bk Notsosober

Thumpalumpacus

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

Good luck with your recovery. I too live out in the country, very small town, not many meetings -- but the plan doesn't need a bunch of players, it needs pertinent details.

Mine is based on:

1) Building a support network for myself (to help me when my AV starts running its mouth);

2) Attend meetings regularly (out here in the Sticks, that means weekly) so that I can learn more about how others have coped with this addiction;

3) To deal with reality on its own terms (learn how to live with what I cannot control, understand that I cannot control it simply by drinking it away, and addressing the problems I can change directly and in a sober frame of mind);

4) and accepting responsibility for my behavior, all behavior, drunk, sober or indifferent, past, present, and going forward. No more lying, no more blaming others for my own failings, no more excuses, and no more bull****.

Those are the key points to my own personal plan. All of these points support the goal: Never drink again. They are useless without that determination.

I've found that my own plan will need add-ons and modifications. I am looking into personal therapy, for instance, and may add that to my plan in order to strengthen point 3) in my plan.

Hope that helps.

eta: I too was uncomfortable about going to AA -- I'm a nonbeliever. I went anyway, and though I find the god stuff annoying, I get a lot out of being around people who have gone through what I'm going through. I don't know if you've been to a meeting or two before, but if you haven't, give it a try.

I think my own reluctance -- I resisted for a looooong time -- was in part my AV using my atheism to keep me away from help, which can and does come from any quarter.

notsosober77

I did go to a couple meetings. I hardly heard anyone talk about drinking or alcohol. It was like an old time revival meeting.

PurpleKnight

Welcome back Notsosober!!

Blacky

I don't think I would care for that sort meeting either.

What has helped me keep things in the forefront is checking in on this site daily.
Participating in the monthly class thread and some on anxiety. Reading posts here of others with sober time and those just starting. Sometimes I comment other times not.

I feel welcome and comfortable on this forum and it helps me.

I am using other forms of help involving meetings and therapy, but not everyday like here.

I will take whatever help I can find and am committed to staying sober.

I wish you well and hope things get better and you have the strength needed to quit and find some resource that helps out.