Lessons Learned in 70 Days
 

Today is my 70th day.

10 weeks.

Not that I had held that out as some major milestone - but I have spent much of today taking inventory and looking around.

With apologies to Donald Rumsfeld - here is what I've learned:

What I know that I know:

1. Drinking isn't an option for me anymore. I will die first before I drink alcohol again. It's not an option.
2. If drinking is never an option for me anymore - I'm not denying myself anything - therefore I'm not relying on willpower.
3. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. (i.e. How to Boil a Frog) I realize now that I was circling the drain - and never really knew it. I'm so happy that I stopped.
4. I had done much more physical damage and brain damage to myself than I was aware of.
5. PAWS sucks.
6. I'm a lot stronger than I had given myself credit for.
7. SoberRecovery is a great place to get support and advice. Thank you all!
8. My recovery is going to look like a patchwork of a whole lot of techniques, guides and programs (AA, RR, Smart, LifeRing, SOS, Buddhism, Oprah specials, Law of Attraction, etc., etc.)
9. Continuing self education is going to be the key to #8 above.
10. I have to be more gentle and patient with myself as I go through this. I can be my own worst enemy and over-demanding of myself.
11. The isolation of addiction is one of the most pernicious aspects of the condition.
12. My wife and kids like me a lot better these days.
13. I am on my way to a better, happier, healthier, longer life.

What I know that I don't know:

1. I don't know why it has been so relatively easy so far to quit. I was prepared for more suffering - but I think it has something to do with #1 and #2 in the list above. The absoluteness is comforting.
2. I don't know everything about alcoholism yet. And I probably never will. I thought I knew a lot when I quit. It turns out I didn't know very much about me or my condition.
3. I don't know what life is going to throw at me. But I KNOW that drinking won't be involved.
4. I don't know the person that I am going to ultimately become in my sobriety - but I'm going to have fun finding out!

What I don't know that I don't know...

1. I don't know - but I'll leave it up to you all here at SR to help me find out.

Thank you everybody!

Congratulations on ten weeks Dad

I'm also in the 70s since my final relapse-- Dad-well done.

I've also typically had a history of fairly "easy" quits compared to many.
What I had to learn to watch out for was the 3,6, 9, 12 month marks as
cycles where I'm tempted to think I can moderate.

As long as your clear you can never go there, you may find things roll
along quite happily :)

Congrats on ten weeks sober! :scoregood

Great list.
Thanks and congratulations.
Jonathan

Congrats Dad - good post :)

D

Very encouraging! Good job!

Great post.

I have been thinking lately about the mental shift from being a "Sober/abstinent drinker" to truly being a "teetotaller/Nondrinker."

I used to smoke and I recall that for many years I was a smoker who didn't smoke and then at some point without realising it I became a real non-smoker. The way I looked at it was, if my boyfriend loved a gal who smoked and it was not bad for you -- would you smoke?? The moment I could truly answer that no, not really, I was free and knew that I would never smoke again.

I see many on here who have reached that point with alcohol, so I know its possible.

Like you, I also have a relatively easy time stopping, but sadly I have also allowed myself to start again before I really became a true in my soul non-drinker. This time I really really know I am finished, which is the reason for my question.

I am sure you don't have to be a true nondrinker to stop for the rest of your life, but I can say from my smoking experience it makes it easier, because you have 100 % confidence that no matter what change in circumstances, even if you found out you were dying, or a closed loved one was, or it was discovered to be good for a disease you had, whatever, you would not drink.

I am NOT talking about cravings or wanting to drink, or giving yourself an excuse to relapse, I am taking about the complete and total certainty that you will never drink again under any and all circumstances.

For those that are there, any pointers??

Fantastic Dad!!! :You_Rock_

I relate so much to your post. Especially PAWS, which I think just started for me. Very very inspiring.

Great post, thanks for sharing xoxo

Great post!

Fantastic post!
Congrats on 70 days :)

23 weeks is great! Keep it up🤗

What a great insightful post. 10 weeks! Be proud.
xx