Notices

Going Out Tonight

Old 01-30-2016, 05:27 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Thread Starter
 
SoberinSyracuse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Going Out Tonight

I'm "meeting a friend for a drink" tonight. I'll enjoy a virgin mojito, and I'll leave if the situation gets unsafe.

I'm worried I won't have a good time. I think I'll find my friend's company pretty boring after he has a drink. That happened in MD when my host had to have a drink on his third day sober. Halfway into the drink, his brilliant and engaging sober conversation lost its sparkle.

I really do want to be able to enjoy the company of all my friends (not just the teetotalers), but there ain't no getting around the fact that alcohol makes people boring.

I'll report back how this goes.
SoberinSyracuse is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 05:30 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PNW
Posts: 25,276
I find it really difficult to be in a conversation with people when they are drinking. After they have the second one, I'm out of there.
biminiblue is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 05:32 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
mav
just keep swimming
 
mav's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 464
Worth a shot... But stay safe. Don't give up what you've achieved!

Fwiw, drinking out always made me boring. I'm far more sociable sober! (Probably because after 1 or 2 I'm more interested in the drink... Talking to people gets in the way...)
mav is online now  
Old 01-30-2016, 05:34 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 151
Be VERY careful SIS. I get what you are saying about your friends, but keep reminding yourself that sobriety is number one.
SobrieTee is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 05:38 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
jryan19982's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by SoberinSyracuse View Post
I'm "meeting a friend for a drink" tonight. I'll enjoy a virgin mojito, and I'll leave if the situation gets unsafe.

I'm worried I won't have a good time. I think I'll find my friend's company pretty boring after he has a drink. That happened in MD when my host had to have a drink on his third day sober. Halfway into the drink, his brilliant and engaging sober conversation lost its sparkle.

I really do want to be able to enjoy the company of all my friends (not just the teetotalers), but there ain't no getting around the fact that alcohol makes people boring.

I'll report back how this goes.
Did you eat Maryland blue crabs or crab cakes while in Maryland? I grew up there so if you go back and want recommendations of things to do places to go things to eat just let me know. We have flown Maryland blue crabs out here to Arizona twice now. Can't wait until next time lol.
jryan19982 is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 05:39 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Hawkeye13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,319
Sadly, pretty much all my drinking friends are out of my life for this reason.

I tried, they tried, but really, the bottom line is drunks have drunken conversations drinking even if they are brilliant sober.

Protect your sobriety by leaving early as you said if need be.
Go get some tomato gravy at Pastabilities
Hawkeye13 is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 05:41 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
jryan19982's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 View Post
Sadly, pretty much all my drinking friends are out of my life for this reason.

I tried, they tried, but really, the bottom line is drunks have drunken conversations drinking even if they are brilliant sober.

Protect your sobriety by leaving early as you said if need be.
Go get some tomato gravy at Pastabilities
Pretty much! I'm glad a few of !my friends got sober when I did and a few hardly drink. Makes it much easier.
jryan19982 is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 05:42 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Thread Starter
 
SoberinSyracuse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Originally Posted by jryan19982 View Post
Did you eat Maryland blue crabs or crab cakes while in Maryland? I grew up there so if you go back and want recommendations of things to do places to go things to eat just let me know. We have flown Maryland blue crabs out here to Arizona twice now. Can't wait until next time lol.
Please PM me how I can get some crab cakes flown to Syracuse. I don't like seafood, but when I left town I saddled a colleague with a psychopathic client and he said I owe him some Maryland crabcakes.
SoberinSyracuse is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 05:46 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
jryan19982's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by SoberinSyracuse View Post
Please PM me how I can get some crab cakes flown to Syracuse. I don't like seafood, but when I left town I saddled a colleague with a psychopathic client and he said I owe him some Maryland crabcakes.
Lol sure
jryan19982 is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 05:48 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hope it all goes well SiS!!
PurpleKnight is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 05:49 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
AnvilheadII's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
be careful about continuing to put yourself in drinking situations.....
AnvilheadII is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 05:52 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Thread Starter
 
SoberinSyracuse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Yep, sobriety uber alles.
SoberinSyracuse is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 06:13 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Venecia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,859
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
be careful about continuing to put yourself in drinking situations.....
Ditto.

SiS, just a couple nights ago you came here seeking support to get through a major craving. So I have to ask: Should you really be doing this so early on in your recovery?
Venecia is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 06:16 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 210,579
^ I was about to make the same point.

Noone says you have to be a shut in - but why not meet for coffee or pizza rather than 'a drink'?

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 06:24 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Thread Starter
 
SoberinSyracuse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Let's see how it goes. I have an escape plan and I wouldn't go if I didn't feel it was fairly low risk. I'll check back in tonight.
SoberinSyracuse is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 07:06 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
IfYouCanDream's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 378
Good luck SiS.

One thing from my own experience - I'd go out and succesfully spend an evening in the company of drinkers. No real effort, no struggle, not a big deal.
Then, a couple days later, I'd find myself having drinking dreams, feeling out of whack, angry or depressed for no particular reason... That happened several times and I've cut down on going out when alcohol's involved to an absolute minimum. It's no coincidence - many things affect us on a purely subliminal level.

Just my 2 cents - even if tonight goes well stay mindful of the after effect. I certainly experienced that and not in a nice way.
IfYouCanDream is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 11:16 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Thread Starter
 
SoberinSyracuse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
It's 1 am and I'm home safe and sober. It was a great evening. We met at a nice restaurant where they have a great fireplace. But the bar had no mint. No mint, no mojito.

My friend is a foodie and a swanky bartender and was appalled that they were out of mint. Of course, we could not possibly stay there. So we went to a supermarket, bought fresh mint, and went to his disaster of a bachelor pad where he went bananas preparing all kinds of amazing small plate snacks for us. And perfecting a virgin mojito. This is his playground; he can entertain himself for hours muddling mint leaves.

I didn't notice him drinking. I think he might have had part of a beer. He was a lot more interested in the mint and his mozzarella balls. One of those "normal" sorts, I reckon. He never ran out of conversation. I feel like I met the real him for the very first time. It seems that all this time, I've been the one introducing the alcohol and getting him drunk. Tonight I met the real Joe, my friend: obsessive foodie and host.

Last edited by SoberinSyracuse; 01-30-2016 at 11:19 PM. Reason: Adding one more thought
SoberinSyracuse is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 11:18 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Thread Starter
 
SoberinSyracuse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Originally Posted by IfYouCanDream View Post
..., a couple days later, I'd find myself having drinking dreams, feeling out of whack, angry or depressed for no particular reason...
That is very interesting. Thanks for the heads up; I'll monitor for this.
SoberinSyracuse is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 11:45 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Nic233's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 2,671
That's so great to hear that it went so well. I have to admit that if I'm completely honest- I was always the one introducing the drinks, cocktails, shots etc too on nights out for "dinner"!
I have to agree with ifyoucandream- if I'm around drinkers in early sobriety, it's starts an obsession with me,,,dreams, thoughts then the wondering if I can once again be a normal drinker as I've had a break!!! Just keep your guard up!! But a huge congrats on getting through what could have been a difficult evening X
Nic233 is offline  
Old 01-30-2016, 11:48 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Rcvringaddict30's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Lawrenceville, NJ
Posts: 103
Glad to hear it went well… I have a bit of insomnia since I've stopped drinking so here I am awake writing to you. I've been in a shut in since I stopped drinking, so it's always good to hear good success stories about socialization around people drinking. I got really pissed off earlier tonight when a friend of mine or should I say drinking friend of mine started joking around about" getting tanked time" as he put it at the local place that I usually go. I ripped into him and told him I didn't think it was funny at all, at least not at this juncture. His drinking issues are not my business but I didn't want to hear about it tonight. I still haven't even told my boyfriend about my sobriety plans because we've had a fight and haven't seen each other or spoken since I've seen him Wednesday night- the last night I drank. I'd like to tell him in person to see if he's going to be supportive or if I'm going to have to cut him loose. That was a little off topic rambling about myself, but anyway I'm glad it went well for you tonight.
Rcvringaddict30 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:21 AM.