SoberinSyracuse

I'm "meeting a friend for a drink" tonight. I'll enjoy a virgin mojito, and I'll leave if the situation gets unsafe.

I'm worried I won't have a good time. I think I'll find my friend's company pretty boring after he has a drink. That happened in MD when my host had to have a drink on his third day sober. Halfway into the drink, his brilliant and engaging sober conversation lost its sparkle.

I really do want to be able to enjoy the company of all my friends (not just the teetotalers), but there ain't no getting around the fact that alcohol makes people boring.

I'll report back how this goes.

biminiblue

I find it really difficult to be in a conversation with people when they are drinking. After they have the second one, I'm out of there.

mav

Worth a shot... But stay safe. Don't give up what you've achieved!

Fwiw, drinking out always made me boring. I'm far more sociable sober! (Probably because after 1 or 2 I'm more interested in the drink... Talking to people gets in the way...)

SobrieTee

Be VERY careful SIS. I get what you are saying about your friends, but keep reminding yourself that sobriety is number one.

jryan19982

Did you eat Maryland blue crabs or crab cakes while in Maryland? I grew up there so if you go back and want recommendations of things to do places to go things to eat just let me know. We have flown Maryland blue crabs out here to Arizona twice now. Can't wait until next time lol.

Hawkeye13

Sadly, pretty much all my drinking friends are out of my life for this reason.

I tried, they tried, but really, the bottom line is drunks have drunken conversations drinking even if they are brilliant sober.

Protect your sobriety by leaving early as you said if need be.
Go get some tomato gravy at Pastabilities

jryan19982

Pretty much! I'm glad a few of !my friends got sober when I did and a few hardly drink. Makes it much easier.

SoberinSyracuse

Please PM me how I can get some crab cakes flown to Syracuse. I don't like seafood, but when I left town I saddled a colleague with a psychopathic client and he said I owe him some Maryland crabcakes.

jryan19982

Lol sure

PurpleKnight

Hope it all goes well SiS!!

AnvilheadII

be careful about continuing to put yourself in drinking situations.....

SoberinSyracuse

Yep, sobriety uber alles.

Venecia

Ditto.

SiS, just a couple nights ago you came here seeking support to get through a major craving. So I have to ask: Should you really be doing this so early on in your recovery?

Dee74

^ I was about to make the same point.

Noone says you have to be a shut in - but why not meet for coffee or pizza rather than 'a drink'?

D

SoberinSyracuse

Let's see how it goes. I have an escape plan and I wouldn't go if I didn't feel it was fairly low risk. I'll check back in tonight.

IfYouCanDream

Good luck SiS.

One thing from my own experience - I'd go out and succesfully spend an evening in the company of drinkers. No real effort, no struggle, not a big deal.
Then, a couple days later, I'd find myself having drinking dreams, feeling out of whack, angry or depressed for no particular reason... That happened several times and I've cut down on going out when alcohol's involved to an absolute minimum. It's no coincidence - many things affect us on a purely subliminal level.

Just my 2 cents - even if tonight goes well stay mindful of the after effect. I certainly experienced that and not in a nice way.

SoberinSyracuse

It's 1 am and I'm home safe and sober. It was a great evening. We met at a nice restaurant where they have a great fireplace. But the bar had no mint. No mint, no mojito.

My friend is a foodie and a swanky bartender and was appalled that they were out of mint. Of course, we could not possibly stay there. So we went to a supermarket, bought fresh mint, and went to his disaster of a bachelor pad where he went bananas preparing all kinds of amazing small plate snacks for us. And perfecting a virgin mojito. This is his playground; he can entertain himself for hours muddling mint leaves.

I didn't notice him drinking. I think he might have had part of a beer. He was a lot more interested in the mint and his mozzarella balls. One of those "normal" sorts, I reckon. He never ran out of conversation. I feel like I met the real him for the very first time. It seems that all this time, I've been the one introducing the alcohol and getting him drunk. Tonight I met the real Joe, my friend: obsessive foodie and host.

SoberinSyracuse

That is very interesting. Thanks for the heads up; I'll monitor for this.

Nic233

That's so great to hear that it went so well. I have to admit that if I'm completely honest- I was always the one introducing the drinks, cocktails, shots etc too on nights out for "dinner"!
I have to agree with ifyoucandream- if I'm around drinkers in early sobriety, it's starts an obsession with me,,,dreams, thoughts then the wondering if I can once again be a normal drinker as I've had a break!!! Just keep your guard up!! But a huge congrats on getting through what could have been a difficult evening X

Rcvringaddict30

Glad to hear it went well… I have a bit of insomnia since I've stopped drinking so here I am awake writing to you. I've been in a shut in since I stopped drinking, so it's always good to hear good success stories about socialization around people drinking. I got really pissed off earlier tonight when a friend of mine or should I say drinking friend of mine started joking around about" getting tanked time" as he put it at the local place that I usually go. I ripped into him and told him I didn't think it was funny at all, at least not at this juncture. His drinking issues are not my business but I didn't want to hear about it tonight. I still haven't even told my boyfriend about my sobriety plans because we've had a fight and haven't seen each other or spoken since I've seen him Wednesday night- the last night I drank. I'd like to tell him in person to see if he's going to be supportive or if I'm going to have to cut him loose. That was a little off topic rambling about myself, but anyway I'm glad it went well for you tonight.