biminiblue

I don't have any close friends, SC.

It's by choice, though. I know I could have close friends if I wanted to. Most people exhaust me. I need a lot of quiet time.

To have someone to do things with, I have to come up with things to do and then ask. . . so there's that.

Rmz250

AA isn't for everyone, I go every now and then for
the social aspect but what they preach makes no sense to me and I can't relate. I've felt many times that I was more fun when drinking and that might be true to an extent ( even though some friends have confirmed I was a nightmare drunk). I don't know who I am sober or what I like. I miss drinking a lot but I don't want to go back to the life I had. I don't want to rely on alcohol to have a good time. That's not normal, even though society as I knew it makes it seem that way. It's going to take time to learn how to live. I believe though that as long as I push myself out of my comfort zone and try new things I will find a greater enjoyment of life.

Rmz250

If she cares for you she won't. If she does she's only thinking of herself and not a friend.

dwtbd

Try joining one of the weekender threads. It may help you feel more connected to peers. Lots people talking /sharing about how to 'handle' to whole sober 'thing'(s).
Everybody is welcome and they sure seem to be having fun and can help if you're not.

Incontrol15

I don't have any advice. Just letting you know I went through the same thing around the same time.

It's like the rush of quitting is over and now you're looking around wondering what's next. Life was supposed to be better when sober.

Your AV has gained some strength. It's found a life line.

The way out is in your head. Mindfulness, meditation, and renewing your vows will help. Spend some time each day reviewing the awesomeness of being sober.

It's been said, and I'll say it again...it WILL pass. You're AV will eventually see there's nothing there. It'll subside and sneak into the darkness and look for the next opportunity.

The more you feed your mind with the positives of being sober, the sooner it will subside.

RattleAndHum

I've been where you are. Unfortunately, I caved in, and here I am -- 8 years later. It took me a while to gain perspective and realize that drinking to make other people happy was wrong, really wrong, and said a lot. Of course, in some sense, I was really drinking for myself, but those I trusted most encouraged my return to a life I told them I didn't want anymore for many of my own reasons. When I caved in, I did not expect to return to my usual drinking habit after one outing, but it happened, and it continued . . . for 8 years. I missed out on a lot in those 8 years. I'm just happy I'm back.

Hang in there. You are doing the right thing. Stay on your right path despite the temptations to wander off. You never know when (or if) you'll get back on.

Keep up the good work!

SobrieTee

I feel you. I was a very different person when drunk, and I was more interesting. I was definitely more fun.

BUT, it became a battle. I had to drink to be social. I had to drink so people would like me. This was all at the expense of my health.

I chose my life over everything else. You deserve to do the same

AnvilheadII

you could try TRAINING the cats......? that would certainly be engrossing and entertaining!!!

remember that like attracts like and the longer you are sober the more likely you are to attract sober others. live sober and let life happen.

least

Stay sober. It's worth it.

PurpleKnight

When I quit drinking I felt similar, the reason being I had so much time on my hands and I lived alone, so I came home and was by myself, and during my drinking days I hadn't had many hobbies or interests as I spent all my time drinking.

The conclusion was I needed to do more than mere abstain from alcohol, I needed to build a new life, new hobbies, find the things that excited me, new interests, rekindle old hobbies that went by the wayside, new projects, new goals.

We need to build the life we quit alcohol to achieve, but it won't happen overnight, and it won't happen with mere abstinence, we need to build it, what life do we now want to have!!

Hawkeye13

The sad truth is much of what passes for "friendship" is often more accurately a "drinking buddy association".
This was indeed true for me--when I removed the alcohol, I found hanging
around drunks quite boring, and my failure to laugh at their lame
humor (which used to be mine) was in turn boring for them.

So yes, you may indeed find that many or most of your "friends"
may have shared alcohol and partying as the common ground with you, and not
true emotional / spiritual connection.

But rather than being hurt, try reframing this possible truth as
an opportunity to find real friends with whom you share deeper
connections of spirit.

Better to find these kinds of friends to get old with,
to face hardships with, to have fun with, and to spend
your very precious time here on Earth with.

I felt sad not fitting in anymore at first also
but now, I only wish I'd started my quest for sobriety earlier
and not wasted so much energy on BS--there were fun times, sure. . .
but overall, what is fun silliness in your 20's and 30's really is redundant
in your 40s and 50s.

You may be surprised at who your true friends turn out to be

Dee74

There's some really good advice here secretchord

If you look back through you're threads you've been doing extraordinarily well...this is just a rocky patch.

I do think the suggestions to do some volunteering, and maybe meet some new sober friends, are both great.

I needed to get out of my own head and my house after a while. I needed to rediscover that life and fun do not revolve around a bottle

D