Stuck in a trap
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 236
Stuck in a trap
Drink .. try not to drink for a few days .. repeat. I've read a lot on this site, read the links from Dee about a plan.. but keep on drinking. My record is 4 days without a drink.
Drinking at the moment but obviously not enjoying it or I wouldn't have thought to come here.
Don't know what to do.. I see the people who have succeeded here are indeed happy, but I seem to lack the resolve to get to the point of being happy in sobriety.
Drinking at the moment but obviously not enjoying it or I wouldn't have thought to come here.
Don't know what to do.. I see the people who have succeeded here are indeed happy, but I seem to lack the resolve to get to the point of being happy in sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
For right now, take it one day at a time.
I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this since you're drinking - but really it is as simple as getting up every morning and committing to not drinking that day no matter what. One day at a time we recover.
There are many of us who have done it, you can too.
This is a trap to which you have the key. You are in a self-made prison.
I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this since you're drinking - but really it is as simple as getting up every morning and committing to not drinking that day no matter what. One day at a time we recover.
There are many of us who have done it, you can too.
This is a trap to which you have the key. You are in a self-made prison.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
You need some sober time for your head to clear and your brain to start functioning normally. Alcohol is a depressant so your thinking while drinking isn't too good. 
Don't drink, just for today. Do it again tomorrow. The longer you are sober, the better you will feel.
Don't drink, just for today. Do it again tomorrow. The longer you are sober, the better you will feel.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
If you can't stop drinking on your own, you need to remove yourself from the opportunity to drink.
Rehab should give you the time to detox and the building blocks of recovery to get you started on the road to sobriety.
Is that an option?
Rehab should give you the time to detox and the building blocks of recovery to get you started on the road to sobriety.
Is that an option?
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 236
Hi carl,
I am out of work. Laid off. Drank too much when I was working .. but had days when I didn't drink. Now I drink everyday unless I'm trying to quit. No money to spend on a rehab unless I can find one that has a free care program.
I am out of work. Laid off. Drank too much when I was working .. but had days when I didn't drink. Now I drink everyday unless I'm trying to quit. No money to spend on a rehab unless I can find one that has a free care program.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Grendhar 
Hi carl,
I am out of work. Laid off. Drank too much when I was working .. but had days when I didn't drink. Now I drink everyday unless I'm trying to quit. No money to spend on a rehab unless I can find one that has a free care program.
I am out of work. Laid off. Drank too much when I was working .. but had days when I didn't drink. Now I drink everyday unless I'm trying to quit. No money to spend on a rehab unless I can find one that has a free care program.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 236
Feel ridiculous for ever getting stuck into this problem. My father was a severe alcoholic .. he was able to break free 6 years ago. But while he was active I never understood. I thought he was a bad guy, I felt like he should "Just not drink" and when he would I blamed him. Now as an alcoholic myself, I know "Just don't drink" is not good advice, at least in the early stages of recovery.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by Grendhar
Feel ridiculous for ever getting stuck into this problem. My father was a severe alcoholic .. he was able to break free 6 years ago. But while he was active I never understood. I thought he was a bad guy, I felt like he should "Just not drink" and when he would I blamed him. Now as an alcoholic myself, I know "Just don't drink" is not good advice, at least in the early stages of recovery.
If you can't do that, then get into rehab or at least AA.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 236
Just don't drink is simplistic advice for those early in recovery. If it were just that simple there would be no need for A.A or SoberRecovery in general. We are people who find just not drinking a challenge.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
I don't believe in trying things over and over if they're not working.
If you've tried to quit on your own and you keep going back, it's time to take a different approach. Time to go to detox or rehab. Free or low cost, or just have them bill you and worry about it later.
'Cuz drinking is a death sentence so obviously that's a lot more important than money.
If you've tried to quit on your own and you keep going back, it's time to take a different approach. Time to go to detox or rehab. Free or low cost, or just have them bill you and worry about it later.
'Cuz drinking is a death sentence so obviously that's a lot more important than money.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hoping, resolving, wishing and willpower never worked for me, as you mentioned a plan is the advice most commonly given here on SR, and that's because it works.
I couldn't do it on my own, so daily support built into my day was a must, whether checking into SR, meetings, whatever it is, something to keep a daily focus on your Day 4 and beyond.
Next I had to make some radical decisions about what activities I got involved in and what people to hang out with, alcohol I discovered doesn't buy itself, I could if I put my mind to it, some physical barriers, even more support, not buy alcohol, and if that meant sitting in my house in the evenings then that got me further than Day 4!!
Nothing changes if nothing changes, I found that out over a year going round in circles, instead we have to make Sobriety happen with our choices, changing up our routines, or activities, and some radical decision making!!
You can do this!!
I couldn't do it on my own, so daily support built into my day was a must, whether checking into SR, meetings, whatever it is, something to keep a daily focus on your Day 4 and beyond.
Next I had to make some radical decisions about what activities I got involved in and what people to hang out with, alcohol I discovered doesn't buy itself, I could if I put my mind to it, some physical barriers, even more support, not buy alcohol, and if that meant sitting in my house in the evenings then that got me further than Day 4!!
Nothing changes if nothing changes, I found that out over a year going round in circles, instead we have to make Sobriety happen with our choices, changing up our routines, or activities, and some radical decision making!!
You can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 113
Originally Posted by Grendhar
I've read a lot on this site, read the links from Dee about a plan.. but keep on drinking. ... I seem to lack the resolve to get to the point of being happy in sobriety.
I can't help wondering what your expectations are, do you mind me asking? This may be off, but I get the impression that the time that needs to elapse between drinking and feeling happy in sobriety might be a sort of un-thought out limbo for you. Without a structure and some resources in there, it's going to be very hard.
In my humble opinion it isn't just about resolve. It's also about strategy.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,899
AA doesn't cost anything.
Every meeting I go to they pass a basket and people throw in a buck, never anymore than that. Some people can't afford that, and they just pass the basket. That's ok too.
The only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking.
Every meeting I go to they pass a basket and people throw in a buck, never anymore than that. Some people can't afford that, and they just pass the basket. That's ok too.
The only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking.
just keep swimming
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 502
Originally Posted by Grendhar
Just don't drink is simplistic advice for those early in recovery.
I agree with you that it's simplistic and not as easy as saying it. To make sobriety work you need a real commitment to it and most people find that at a distinct and obvious point. Sometimes it's a traumatic event, sometimes it's a court order, sometimes it's just a lightbulb moment. If you haven't had that moment yet then SR is a good place to be to help you understand your position and get to that moment.
My brain is trying to kill me
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Palo Alto, ca
Posts: 401
Alcohol is Cunning, Baffling, Powerful, and Patient
Most of us must be willing to go to ANY LENGTH to become and remain sober; that means doing things that we may not want, like, or think could work, and doing them more than once.
Most of us can't do that until we reach bottom; that place of INCOMPREHENSIBLE DEMORALIZATION, only then DO we become willing to go to ANY LENGTH.
Welcome to SR; it's not likely you'll find another place like this on the Web, information, resources, fellowship.
Most of us must be willing to go to ANY LENGTH to become and remain sober; that means doing things that we may not want, like, or think could work, and doing them more than once.
Most of us can't do that until we reach bottom; that place of INCOMPREHENSIBLE DEMORALIZATION, only then DO we become willing to go to ANY LENGTH.
Welcome to SR; it's not likely you'll find another place like this on the Web, information, resources, fellowship.
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