Anna

The Salvation Army offers free rehab to anyone who wants it:

http://satruck.org/national-rehabilitation

SixStringZen

Drinking cessation isn't the final result of recovery...it's the first step...NOTHING happens until that happens...you can do it...you CAN!

SixStringZen

Being simple =/= being easy...

Grendhar

Morning SR. I apologize for my argumentative posts.

Time2Stop4good

I know the cycle, I have been there. What worked for me was to stop keeping it a secret from my family and extended family. Some of them have gone through the same thing. Is it possible to talk with your father about this and get his encouragement/support?

The desire to not let down the people closest to me has helped me stay on the right path and each day it gets a little easier. The first two weeks were the toughest so far. I hope you can get the help you need and join us on the path to a happier life.

Dee74

The recovery plan links are for doing more than reading I think?

If you find it hard to be your own taskmaster right now, and Rehab is for whatever reason out of contention, why not check out AA or some other meeting based recovery group?

It is simplistic advice - but that's because the process is a simple one.

Not easy - but simple. It's basic binary stuff.
On/off. Drink/don't drink.

It the support that we gather around ourselves and the changes we make to our lives that fill in the detail around that simple premise.

Again, if you can't stop drinking on your own, then perhaps it's time to call in some outside help Grendhar?

D

Grendhar

Looking over the responses I've gotten.

Grendhar

For my father .. it took going to jail. No criminal record ever .. then ends up in jail for 4 months. Really shook him up.

He tells me to try get off the train before I get to that point. Tries to scare me with his story..

Hasn't been working.

I'm currently researching the free / cheap rehab solutions available.

Grendhar

Left a message with Salvation Army.. not hopeful about that call because of religious aspect ... but would give it a try to see how religiously based it really is.

Soberwolf

It's a step in the right direction Gredhar one I commend you for

Grendhar

Hello.

Grendhar

Woke up around 1 am feeling very sick .. had trouble keeping water down. Drove last night .. luckily lived that down .. again.

Think the water set in because I got back to sleep and slept in this morning. Feel a little tired today but expected to feel much worse.

Doing okay. Headed to get oil changed on my car.

Grendhar

Got my oil changed .. only thing I accomplished today. Been listening to motivational speakers on YouTube to help keep me in a decent mood.

Ruby2

Every little bit helps. Keep listening to the speakers on YouTube. You got your oil changed, that's a good thing. I'm long overdue. Baby steps.

SoberLife90

Welcome.

Grendhar

Thank you Soberlife.

Grendhar

There's a meeting in an hour. Don't want to go but also feel like if I don't go I'm not being serious about recovering. Problem with this meeting is it is a step meeting .. so depending on what step they are talking about .. I could drive all the way there to hear a bunch of god talk.

sobersolstice

My screen-name is misleading, as I messed up as well, and fell off the wagon a few years ago. I don't drink during the day unless it's a weekend, and even then, avoid it, so I'm writing this sober. I remember reading so much about other people quitting and going to AA meetings hearing about how many months or years people have been sober, which is great, but feels like a competition for those of us that haven't kicked it. I guess it's a bit of a competition within one's soul, but I was personally a bit put off by milestones simply due to the scope of the task when I hear 10 years, 20 years, etc.

So here I am, giving it another go. What I do know is that my life is better when I'm not drinking. Another thing is that my mental state has to be in a position of self-respect for me to take extended breaks. I know at some point, the poison will have to be gone. This is going to sound insane, but for myself, I've become so accustomed to feeling like crap, that it's almost overload to feel good. I know this is horrible for my mental and physical health.

I've been watching a lot of motivational videos lately as well. Some comedy thrown in. I was watching a Bill Burr podcast excerpt about his drinking, and peer pressure. I clearly remember a statement about "...is there any peer pressure to die any sooner?"

Berrybean

How did the meeting go Grendhar?

You know - if you only listen to stuff you ALREADY think and agree with, then your thinking will stay the same. And if nothing changes, nothing changes. Weren't you going to AA to change???

Different people have very different ideas of what their HP is. Guess what kind of meeting I got to understand the extent of that statement in!? Yep one of the step meetings about step 2. One of those 'God talk' meetings. One lady I know who has a amazing sobriety (as in long term and good quality) told me that her HP is her 'Gut Feeling'. Another person isn't Nature; another it's Group Of Drunks; another it's Love. Anything that's bigger and more powerful what's in their head I suppose. And you are allowed to say to people at meetings that you struggle with the whole HP thing - that kind of honesty is what will get you some help.

Hope you went and I hope you got something from it.

Thumpalumpacus

The thing is, while you're drinking is not a useful time to perform the self-analysis required to be able to address the core issues leading you to look at intoxication as relief.

Honest self-reflection requires a clear and sober mind, and we don't get such until we've gone a few days without drinking, and allowed our minds and bodies to get rid of the worst residues of our addiction.

You're right insofar as "just don't drink" is of very little long-term value, but the fact is that it's terribly hard to see outside the abuse cycle when you're on the inside of it.

So often-times it happens
That we live our lives in chains
And never even know we have the key ....