Champagne Oysters and Sex friends
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Originally Posted by tufty13 
Okay, I'm going to get banned now but this is an important thing that's changed for me.
Sober sex is all of these three things together. The emotional coming from the meaningful. The "meaningful" being absent when drunk.
Emotional, physical, spiritual all present and correct has been a momentous realisation for me in sobriety.
I'm sure David Deida would have something to say about it.
Sober sex is all of these three things together. The emotional coming from the meaningful. The "meaningful" being absent when drunk.
Emotional, physical, spiritual all present and correct has been a momentous realisation for me in sobriety.
I'm sure David Deida would have something to say about it.
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I believe you Fabat 
If this is AV driven then you need to shut that little booger down.
Everything the AV says is a lie
Mick Dundee might drink, but as a fictional character he can afford to do that
D
If this is AV driven then you need to shut that little booger down.
Everything the AV says is a lie
Mick Dundee might drink, but as a fictional character he can afford to do that
D
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Originally Posted by teatreeoil007
Hey Fab: Like others have said, you can have sex without alcohol...and good sex has many benefits Relieves stress and anxiety for sure..... For recovering addicts I have heard it is recommended because of the natural endorphens that are released! Hope it doesn't embarrass you to talk so openly about it. I don't get too embarrassed about stuff. I once had a conversation with really big burly guy I knew through a connection and we talked very openly about stuff...And talked about his sex life with his wife who that opposite of him (petite)...they had a very good marriage and he was a good guy...we also talked about what's it's like to be so big and burly and he said it was awkward sometimes. His sister was big too...and I've always felt like I was a little on the big side because people told me I have big bones...I felt self conscious about that sometimes and the fact that I have BIG SHOULDERS...and you know what he said? He said it was GOOD to have big shoulders and to not be ashamed or feel bad about that. Sorry to ramble and get off topic...
About the champange and osters: I understand it's tempting, but we can overcome temptation and stay sober..You can substitute it with sparkling cider or something like that. I hope you don't listen to your AV that wants to imbibe to celebrate. You can do this. I am drinking some special tea this afternoon, It's called "Skin Detox". Great stuff...really WORKS! Got it at the health food store...Happy for you that you have something to celebrate. That's awesome...
About the champange and osters: I understand it's tempting, but we can overcome temptation and stay sober..You can substitute it with sparkling cider or something like that. I hope you don't listen to your AV that wants to imbibe to celebrate. You can do this. I am drinking some special tea this afternoon, It's called "Skin Detox". Great stuff...really WORKS! Got it at the health food store...Happy for you that you have something to celebrate. That's awesome...
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Originally Posted by Dee74
I believe you Fabat
If this is AV driven then you need to shut that little booger down.
Everything the AV says is a lie
Mick Dundee might drink, but as a fictional character he can afford to do that
D
If this is AV driven then you need to shut that little booger down.
Everything the AV says is a lie
Mick Dundee might drink, but as a fictional character he can afford to do that
D
Well... this Sheila is off to bed. Alone. Sober.
Not totally alone, smelly dog will no doubt sneak up on the bed in the early hours.
You know what guys. This thread is kind of "tongue in cheek", but it has helped me no end. As usual you guys have given me food for thought ... on a couple of issues.
Hugs. x
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
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Hey Fab. Have you ever thought of drinking special teas? There are so many to choose from these days. Right now I am letting my tea steep for a goodly amount of time and it's a combination of Skin Detox and Vital Energy. I've never tried the Vital Energy one yet, so we'll see how it works.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
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Originally Posted by Fabat50
I have big shoulders too ha ha! And big hands. My ex referred to them as swimmers' shoulders. He thought it was a compliment!
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Hopefully your friend isn't a drinker. If he's not, great. Train him to give an awesome aromatherapy massage.
I have a "friend" but he's a drinker/pothead and has been "too busy" to get together since my return from Atlanta. Behold the power of substances, baby! He even prefers them over sex!
I have a "friend" but he's a drinker/pothead and has been "too busy" to get together since my return from Atlanta. Behold the power of substances, baby! He even prefers them over sex!
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Location: Australia
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Originally Posted by Fabat50
You are always spot on Dee. One day I would love to hear your life story.
Well... this Sheila is off to bed. Alone. Sober.
Not totally alone, smelly dog will no doubt sneak up on the bed in the early hours.
You know what guys. This thread is kind of "tongue in cheek", but it has helped me no end. As usual you guys have given me food for thought ... on a couple of issues.
Hugs. x
Well... this Sheila is off to bed. Alone. Sober.
Not totally alone, smelly dog will no doubt sneak up on the bed in the early hours.
You know what guys. This thread is kind of "tongue in cheek", but it has helped me no end. As usual you guys have given me food for thought ... on a couple of issues.
Hugs. x
My recovery story is in the Stories of Recovery forum....page 4 or 5 now I guess.
I'm putting off writing my life story
LOLD
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 701
Anvi's post about the "flair up periods" are absolutely true. My were generally within a week or so of the milestones in the article. Being somewhat of a skeptic sometimes, I probably wouldn't have given it much credence if I hadn't consistently experienced it. But the good news is that it does pass ☺
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Nearly 1am. Just woken up. That was a very close call for me last night. Thank you for being there. I finally let go of the friend and champagne idea and got to bed around 3am I guess.
But then I was tossing and turning my mind was in overdrive. I have not had any alcohol in the house since beginning of November. The one bottle of champagne that I did not want to part with, for sentimental reasons, is tucked away high in the attic. An attic which I have never climbed in to myself. And it has been there for years in case someone accidently opened it. It is a vintage bottle from a close family member's marriage with a beautiful private label on it just for them. They had 6 made and gave me one of them.
At 4am AV was telling me to look for a ladder climb up in that damn attic and find it. He told me that there is no point keeping it up there because you can't keep good Champagne forever. It should be drank now. And he even told me there would not be that many spiders up there. And he said Champagne was given to be enjoyed not to be forgotten in a dusty loft. He said my brother would be hurt if he knew it was there. AV was in a great form I can tell you.
Honestly guys I was sitting up in bed literally tearing my hair out. I told myself come on you slipped a couple of weeks ago, you tweaked the plan, what's the new plan. Yet I could not really think of it! I finally got out of bed at 5am threw my wellies on and went for a walk. Never done that in my life. It was still dark, so peaceful, silence, a little spooky as I live in the countryside but I felt safe with my dog.
It worked. I got home before 6am. Fell in to bed as my neighbours were waking up. And as I said have just woken up. I do have a very bad headache, puffy eyes and don't feel great but hey. Can't have it all ways.
Fortunate coincidence. I have my therapy at 14h this afternoon. I really need it to get on track for the weekend.
My Plan will now be tweaked again. My question for myself to day is what am I going to do with that bottle in the attic. Now AV has opened up that can of worms it is not going to go away is it.
Wishing you all a wonderful weekend.
Fab
It really did the trick.
But then I was tossing and turning my mind was in overdrive. I have not had any alcohol in the house since beginning of November. The one bottle of champagne that I did not want to part with, for sentimental reasons, is tucked away high in the attic. An attic which I have never climbed in to myself. And it has been there for years in case someone accidently opened it. It is a vintage bottle from a close family member's marriage with a beautiful private label on it just for them. They had 6 made and gave me one of them.
At 4am AV was telling me to look for a ladder climb up in that damn attic and find it. He told me that there is no point keeping it up there because you can't keep good Champagne forever. It should be drank now. And he even told me there would not be that many spiders up there. And he said Champagne was given to be enjoyed not to be forgotten in a dusty loft. He said my brother would be hurt if he knew it was there. AV was in a great form I can tell you.
Honestly guys I was sitting up in bed literally tearing my hair out. I told myself come on you slipped a couple of weeks ago, you tweaked the plan, what's the new plan. Yet I could not really think of it! I finally got out of bed at 5am threw my wellies on and went for a walk. Never done that in my life. It was still dark, so peaceful, silence, a little spooky as I live in the countryside but I felt safe with my dog.
It worked. I got home before 6am. Fell in to bed as my neighbours were waking up. And as I said have just woken up. I do have a very bad headache, puffy eyes and don't feel great but hey. Can't have it all ways.
Fortunate coincidence. I have my therapy at 14h this afternoon. I really need it to get on track for the weekend.
My Plan will now be tweaked again. My question for myself to day is what am I going to do with that bottle in the attic. Now AV has opened up that can of worms it is not going to go away is it.
Wishing you all a wonderful weekend.
Fab
It really did the trick.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
FB, you are a smart lady to think about that bottle now. You have to get rid of it. You have to. As you said, the seed has been planted. I don't need to tell you how devastated you will feel the morning after some random Thursday night when you opened it up and drank it for no other reason than you couldn't fight through a craving. You will feel horrible- 1. for having drank. 2. for "wasting" such a sentimental bottle on such a meaningless moment.
Get the bottle to a safe place. When you are further along in your sobriety, years from now, you will invite your brother to dinner, maybe there will be other family around also, you can pull the bottle out and offer it to them, delighting in their healthy enjoyment of such a special bottle and enjoying your sobriety.
As for the oysters- yes yes and yes. I will say there are certain foods that have alcohol pairs that are so ingrained in my mind that I have a difficult time eating them this new to sobriety. Oysters are one, mussels, sushi, a rare steak, cheeses.
And yes to your friend. It is frightening to go there in a new frame of mind. Take your time with things. It might be a time that you want to practice those feelings and emotions alone through masturbation prior to sharing that with someone else. Whatever you decide there is nothing wrong with a healthy sexual appetite and I don't see any reason to deny yourself that pleasure unless it is something that would put your sobriety at risk.
Get the bottle to a safe place. When you are further along in your sobriety, years from now, you will invite your brother to dinner, maybe there will be other family around also, you can pull the bottle out and offer it to them, delighting in their healthy enjoyment of such a special bottle and enjoying your sobriety.
As for the oysters- yes yes and yes. I will say there are certain foods that have alcohol pairs that are so ingrained in my mind that I have a difficult time eating them this new to sobriety. Oysters are one, mussels, sushi, a rare steak, cheeses.
And yes to your friend. It is frightening to go there in a new frame of mind. Take your time with things. It might be a time that you want to practice those feelings and emotions alone through masturbation prior to sharing that with someone else. Whatever you decide there is nothing wrong with a healthy sexual appetite and I don't see any reason to deny yourself that pleasure unless it is something that would put your sobriety at risk.
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Originally Posted by Fabat50
The one bottle of champagne that I did not want to part with, for sentimental reasons, is tucked away high in the attic.
If you were willing to drink it, you can dump down the sink. If you are still sentimental, save the bottle.
Don't let "Stinking Thinking" sabotage your recovery.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
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Just like the christening of a ship, why don't you have a ceremonial christening of your new sober life? Smash the champagne bottle against you house, a special tree, etc. You will have a special memory of the champagne in a very meaningful way.
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D G Carl....
I have lots of things of real sentimental value to me stashed away in the attic! Some of it will go to my children when the time is right. Some of it I won't part with for superstitious or other reasons. But you are right, I can just keep the bottle.
And by the way. I was not willing to drink it at. The AV was. And I finally won!
I have lots of things of real sentimental value to me stashed away in the attic! Some of it will go to my children when the time is right. Some of it I won't part with for superstitious or other reasons. But you are right, I can just keep the bottle.
And by the way. I was not willing to drink it at. The AV was. And I finally won!
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Originally Posted by FormerWineGirl
Just like the christening of a ship, why don't you have a ceremonial christening of your new sober life? Smash the champagne bottle against you house, a special tree, etc. You will have a special memory of the champagne in a very meaningful way.
You gave me a great idea. I could do this and then make up a little frame with the label in and may be the champagne cork and offer it to my brother and sister in law as a gift on their wedding anniverary.
I need to be 100 percent sure of my self control at the smashing ceremony though!
Have a good weekend x
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