Cocorosie

Hi,
I'm new to this forum, and after being in limbo as to wether I have a problem with alcohol for so long, I have decided to take the leap and admit I have a problem, and do my best to work through it.

Living in Australia it is so ingrained to drink socially. People seem to get annoyed with you if you don't. They think its odd if you decline.
I generally don't decline, I guess that's why I'm here, although I'm worried how people deal with this?

My entire group of family and friends socially drink, its just something we do when we get together. I have a major test in 4weeks time when they come to visit me for 4days. How do I reinvent myself, and fit in without alcohol.

I don't know if avoidance is the best way, although I cant avoid every situation without alcohol for ever.

JohnQPublic

Dear C, that's really rough. I understand how some nations, races, or cultures have different social views on drinking but I think you must know if what is going on in your life is normal for your local or if you are in a problematic place. There are lots of ways to get help and lots of support out there if you want. This site is great for that. If you are not sure if you are really developing a problem then try to stop for something like 30 days and see how you feel and it effects your life. And you can always tell people you are not drinking for health/medical reasons, which is double good because its true and helps explain. I wish you thee best. Let anyone here know hoe we can help or support you. John

Soberwolf

Welcome CoCoRosie

nova84

Hi C...Happy AUS day.

I am only on day 9 but feel I have come along way already in picturing future planned events/situations without me drinking...which on day one felt impossible (Im from the UK and we also too like our drink here!!!!) In 4 weeks time you will also be in a much better place and hopefully will feel more confident in dealing with your family visiting. A suggestion may be to plan activities for those 4 days...unrelated to alcohol for you all to enjoy. I would suggest taking things one day at a time and not panic about the visit but instead plan for the visit.

Good luck and congratulations on your decision x

least

Welcome to the family. It might be a bit tough to stay sober in a crowd of drinkers, but if you're determined to stay sober, you can do it. If they ask why you're not drinking, just say you gave it up for your health.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Cocorosie

Not sure how old you are, but eventually decided I wanted to sober up more than anything else.

I reckon being who you want to be and not worrying what other people think is very Australian

I got rid of a lot of drinking mates, reconnected with a lot of old friends who were either non-drinkers or very rare ones, and I made a lot of new sober friends.

It takes a real commitment to change.

You might want to put off the relly visit for a little bit?

I found there are a lot of non drinking Aussies - I was just never likely to find them living my old life in pubs clubs and drinking mates houses

D

Cocorosie

Thanks for your reply John.
My Dr has suggested I try a year. She thinks it black or white. And considering I started drinking at a young age, and it has only got worse I cant see my behaviour changing.....
I started drinking because I was anxious, when I drink I think people like me more, although they are probably just laughing at me.
I'm a happy drunk, but don't know when to stop......ever.
I think I'm going to give this a real go. I'm currently studying, so I should probably just put all my energy into that I guess. I appreciated your words and support.

Cocorosie

Thanks Nova84
Day 9 congrats, its good to hear your feeling positive about all the possibilities without alcohol.
My Dr suggested we have four weeks, so don't think about it at this point.
I have advised all my family that are visiting what I am doing, so there will be no pressure from them. They will support me, I'm just worried about FOMO.
Good thing is we are staying on an island with bushwalking, paddle boarding, fishing etc, and I'm taking my dogs so I guess there are lots of things to do.
Thanks for the support, and stay strong, your doing well.

Cocorosie

Thanks Dea74
I'm 29, and started drinking about 14years of age. I live about 2000kms away from my drinking mates, and don't have anywhere I'm living. Been following my partner for work.
Its just when I do go home.........I guess I only tackle that a couple of times a years.

If I weeded out my friends that drink heavily, that would be my three best mates. We are all terrible......One similar to me, the other drinks less frequent, but when she does no recollection and is an entirely different person.

I drink allot alone, terrible I know. One day at a time hey?! ")
Thank you for your support and words.

Putting off the visit is impossible, flights and accommodation booked, and to come and see me... I'll just have to be strong, and enjoy watching them when they have hangovers the next day and I'm out exploring with my pups.

Meraviglioso

Hey cocorosie, Welcome to the forum. Good job for recognizing a problem and doing something about it- also for seeing your doctor and asking for help. A lot of people skip that step but I personally think it is important to get your doctor involved. She sounds really supportive and caring.
I would suggest not worrying about your friends for now. When the time comes and you are around them you can refuse a drink and when asked why tell the truth- you decided on day to stop because you felt like you were going overboard, your doctor suggested a year but you love the way you feel so much you hope it is forever (because if you are like most people here, once you get some good, solid sober time under your belt you will realize how much better you feel both physically and mentally). You might even inspire some of your friends to look at their own alcohol abuse and consider giving sobriety a try themselves!

FormerWineGirl

Hi Cocorosie. I completely understand how you feel. I became sober with everyone around me still drinking, including my husband who drinks on a daily basis. I told my closest friends, who happened to be my drinking buddies. It took awhile for everyone to get used to the new "me", and for me to adjust to them drinking and me not drinking along side them. But the good news is, it's entirely possible. I did have to avoid certain situations in the beginning, however. My advise is this: let those who are closest to you know the situation if you are comfortable doing so, especially if you are going to be spending time with them. If you don't tell them, they can't support you. It doesn't mean they won't drink, but they are likely to be a bit more sensitive to your efforts. In all honesty, sometimes seeing my friends in all of their drunken glory is a great reminder of how relieved I am to be sober!

nova84

Thanks CC ☺

You've done a great thing telling your family and sounds like there will plenty of non-booze related things to do...good for you x

Cocorosie

Thanks Meraviglioso.
I think she suggested the year with the idea, my life would change so much that I wouldn't even want the alcohol again.

I think my friends will get there in their own time. One mentioned today that shes an alcoholic.....she was living overseas for 2 years calling me constanly wasted saying things had happened, then denied the following day. All I did was a agree with her, and she bit my head off.

Ah well lucky I live 2000km's, and I don't have many friends were I moved so less temptation.

I have to say I feel terrible, haven't slept really in two days or eaten.....

Thankyou for your words and advice.