I Lie
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 113
I'd call this a white lie and think it's up to you whether you do it or not. If you choose to, I don't personally think it breaches integrity. I see it as just a social technique, on a par with expressing interest in what someone's saying when if you were really going to be authentic you'd yawn and walk away.
Having said that, like others I've found that if I say I don't drink I don't tend to get asked why. If I say I don't eat meat, however, I may get harangued for ten minutes!
Having said that, like others I've found that if I say I don't drink I don't tend to get asked why. If I say I don't eat meat, however, I may get harangued for ten minutes!
"It interferes with my sobriety." Is what I said the last time someone questioned WHY I wasn't having a drink.
But next time I may change it up and say 'It interferes with my SANITY!!!' as I stare wide-eyed at them....that might shut them up! lol
But next time I may change it up and say 'It interferes with my SANITY!!!' as I stare wide-eyed at them....that might shut them up! lol
I'm not sure how I'll handle it, so this topic is definitely useful for me. Thanks to all for your great posts.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Alcohol addiction is a medical issue, and people are often private about their medical issues. In fact, it's considered awkward to discuss them openly in public.
Im happy this generated a discussion.
I think a lot of people have great points. I'll expand on why I say the stomach thing.
When I meet new people they sometimes ask why I don't drink, they sometimes dont. I usually don't offer any info unless asked but if pressed I say I have a bad stomach. Truth is, I have a host of chronic conditions which mean that I shouldnt drink, have caffeine, or eat spicy food in anything other than moderation. But thats not why I dont drink.
In my opinion telling people I have a problem with alcohol opens the door for further discussion that Idont want to have with strangers.
I hope a new person reading this thread gets some good ideas as I think this question is a hard one in your early recovery so kudos to everyone who answered!
Oh and I'll add if someone kept pestering me I'd cut them out of my life quick, I've found that has never happened once I've said I don't drink.
I think a lot of people have great points. I'll expand on why I say the stomach thing.
When I meet new people they sometimes ask why I don't drink, they sometimes dont. I usually don't offer any info unless asked but if pressed I say I have a bad stomach. Truth is, I have a host of chronic conditions which mean that I shouldnt drink, have caffeine, or eat spicy food in anything other than moderation. But thats not why I dont drink.
In my opinion telling people I have a problem with alcohol opens the door for further discussion that Idont want to have with strangers.
I hope a new person reading this thread gets some good ideas as I think this question is a hard one in your early recovery so kudos to everyone who answered!
Oh and I'll add if someone kept pestering me I'd cut them out of my life quick, I've found that has never happened once I've said I don't drink.
I was thinking last night how stupid drinking really is, and how terrible it is for your health -- moved up to a level one carcinogen.
So not drinking really should be the norm, not the exception.
I sometimes say, I just don't, in the same way I don't smoke; but that always generates a discussion. So if its folks I might want to have that discussion with, I might answer that.
But I think if you limit to to its bad for my health, or doesn't agree with me, all of that is true as others have said. its the extra details about your stomach that creates the possible deception, and do you really need it... On the other hand, as you say, its really true..
There is also this "sober-just-cause" movement going, which I think is a great thing for young people.
We have to break the perception that drinking is normal and sobriety is odd!
So not drinking really should be the norm, not the exception.
I sometimes say, I just don't, in the same way I don't smoke; but that always generates a discussion. So if its folks I might want to have that discussion with, I might answer that.
But I think if you limit to to its bad for my health, or doesn't agree with me, all of that is true as others have said. its the extra details about your stomach that creates the possible deception, and do you really need it... On the other hand, as you say, its really true..
There is also this "sober-just-cause" movement going, which I think is a great thing for young people.
We have to break the perception that drinking is normal and sobriety is odd!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 701
Say what makes you comfortable. I do think that a younger person would probably feel the need to provide an explanation more so than an older person. Personally, I am at the age where I feel that my life and my choices are my business. That said, I'll come clean and tell you that I have used a medical excuse before, to a few people who were more than acquaintances and knew I drank, but not close friends. This was a year and a half ago when I quit drinking. Now I would not feel the need to do that. Sobriety, as well as age, has made me more comfortable in my own skin. What you say now may not be what you choose to say a year from now. As long as you don't drink, its all good. ☺
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Actually, not drinking is the norm in my peer and professional circles. It's going out of style, like smoking did. It's becoming fashionable to be gluten-free, exercise 7 days a week, and drink nothing but 80 oz of filtered water a day. I blend in much better now.
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