SoberHappyHour

Idk how many times I have to relapse and fail but I'm willing to try sobriety as many as it takes ! Once again it was the common "reason" that I started again, believing that I can drink "correctly" this time around. Although I've been drinking again, I can say that I have avoided getting blacked out drunk, but I have been drunk and continually regretting doing so the next day. I kno that sobriety is when I'm the happiest, so I have to continue to try. I'm beginning to think that I need to change my phone number and start fresh with new friends that have hobbies besides drinking .. The current so called ones only seem to be around if the bar is mentioned. How many times have you guys relapsed and does it seem to become more difficult each time ? My streaks seem to get shorter each time I try again and I feel sort of pessimistic about this even tho I currently really want to succeed. Thanks and sorry for rambling !

least

I was a chronic relapse for well over a year until I finally "got it". I'm glad I never gave up. I had a lot of support from the members here and I am grateful for that.

If you can't stay sober, maybe you need to make a better plan for sobriety.

resolute50

"I'm beginning to think that I need to change my phone number and start fresh with new friends that have hobbies besides drinking .. "

Agree.
Start here and then move on to the next step.
Why not get help? Everything to gain and nothing to lose.

doggonecarl

Until you stop believing this:

In my case, I kept thinking I could drink because I never took drinking off the table. I wanted to quit until...until what often changed. But it wasn't forever.

But when I did accept never drinking again, I stopped relapsing, stopped thinking I could drink successfully. Drinking wasn't an option. Good thing too. I had another relapse in me, I wasn't sure I had another recovery.

Upward2Enlightenment

I agree that it might be time to find some "friends" ... these sound like drinking buddies. Real friends support you trying to improve yourself.

Nic233

I'm another one in the chronic relapser lost- for over 2 years on and off.... I never put plans in place. Something Dee said this time clicked with me about making the PLANS to stay sober... I'm feeling much more confident this time round, day 16. Good luck and stay close to SR

Anna

Spending time with non-drinkers would be a good start for you. As others have said, I had to know that I would not drink alcohol again, ever, no matter what. That was the moment that clicked for me. Hang in there!

Anna

Just a Reminder and some posts have been removed:

The Newcomers Forum is a safe and welcoming place for newcomers. Respect is essential. Debates over Recovery Methods are not allowed on the Newcomer's Forum. Posts that violate this rule will be removed without notice. (Support and experience only please.)

Delilah1

Hello,

I am on Day 25 after several stretches of sobriety. I am determined to make this time stick. Dee's advice about having a plan is important. Do you have a plan to help you?

JohnQPublic

I think that is an excellent policy. We should not confuse someone that they can just quit because they want to or that they need an exhaustive program to do so. Every recovery is different and we should all support anyone's attempt to be sober. In the end we all want the same thing, for fellow sufferers to be able to be free of their addiction. Just deciding to quit is not an answer for some people. Be blessed. John

neferkamichael

SoberHappyHour, FANTASTIC you are back, we are all rootin for ya.

bigsombrero

Being alone for a few months is a small price to pay for a lifetime of sobriety. Hanging out with nobody is much better than hanging out with your friends at bars. Give yourself a chance. You gotta start developing a new life, and that means ditching the old scene.

The outset of sobriety produces social casualties - it's a necessary sacrifice. You must be able to accept it.

Upward2Enlightenment

I also agree with that policy Anna.

Just because one recovery program works for someone doesn't mean it will work for the next.

I think it's important to have many different coping tools. One may work at one time and not another.

SoberHappyHour

Thanks for your replies, everyone. And at this time I don't have much of a plan other than to not drink and to separate myself from the situations in which I normally would drink.

@bigsombrero - you're absolutely right and that's basically what I did when I put together a year and a half sober a few years ago. Basically, I was avoiding just about everyone from my past and just going to work and the gym, which may be the game plan I need to follow once again. Thanks for that.

FormerWineGirl

Agree with doggonecarl and Anna, deciding to completely take drinking off the table made a huge difference for me as well. I had to accept that I would never be able to drink normally. As hard as it was to finally reach that conclusion, there was also a freedom that eventually came with it. Trying to moderate was a complete waste of time and energy for something that had zero chance of success.

Dee74

Welcome back SHH
I went back to drinking innumerable times...I'd feel real;ly awful...quit for a few days , feel good again and then start drinking all over.

I had the intent to stop but not the action behind it. I think sometimes it needs some pretty extensive life changes.

My old life revolved around drinking, so I needed some pretty extensive renovations - you have to make changes if you want change

I kept drinking because alcohol keeps me sick...

once I removed the alcohol for good, I could start to make some real changes and I got better and better

D

tomsteve

one of the great things that occured during the time between removing the drinking acquaintances and having non drinking friends come into my life:
i became comfotable with being by myself.

Thumpalumpacus

Make your list of Pros and Cons for continued drinking.

This belongs at the top of your Cons. If you're happiest when you're sober, every drink you take is a step away from happiness. That is a powerful message and one you should use to help you get through the days when you're tempted.

Every drink you take is a step away from happiness. I like that.

SoberHappyHour

@Thumpalumpacus - I do as well and a good way to look at it ! Thanks for putting that into perspective

Steve3929

On the losing the phone number, new friends thing...when you quit, do you explain to your friends that you have a drinking problem? I don't know your friends but I bet they wouldn't force it down your throat. They might even be encouraging. Just a thought.