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Old 05-06-2016, 07:52 AM
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How's the weather shaping up out there for the weekend? Gonna get the bike out and put a few miles on it?
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Old 05-06-2016, 05:19 PM
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Oh man has the weather this week been ******. This entire week has literally been "Mostly cloudy; Rain; Rain; Overcast; Rain," with likely rain tomorrow and Sunday as well. So yes it sucks haha. On the bright side, the forecast for next week, if accurate, is looking quite promising.

Day 102

Have to be honest, today was a pretty good day, good mood, etc.

Anyway, it was quite slow at work this morning, so I started to browse some files on the computer. Pretty much anyone can access another person's files because everything is technically property of the company, so we (within the same team) all have our documents in a shared drive. I stumbled onto this (presumably private) letter a girl had written to her father. (Why she would draft it on the company's computer, knowing full well that it isn't really private, is beyond me. But let's ignore the privacy concerns for the purposes of my point. I know I know, it was wrong to breach another person's privacy, etc.) Anyway, I read the letter, and, without going into much detail, I learned that this girl has a very sad relationship with her family. I really felt quite bad for her. (She's a good writer, too, so that helped). All of this is to say that, if you guys have followed this journal, you'd know that I've often bitched and complained about my living situation here, from the noise, to the stress, and everything in between, but after reading this girl's letter, I began to feel like such a little *****. My "problems," if you could even call them that, are nothing compared to hers. That letter really helped to put things into perspective, and made me much more grateful for what I have. Deep down, I truly am. The hardest thing, though, is remembering it. It's so easy to take things for granted, especially when you get used to things. But I think the reason this really hit me hard is because I realized that it's often not the people whom you'd expect to have baggage. Sure it's easy to point to homeless people and drug addicts and say, "Man they have it bad." But what's sad is that a lot of seemingly normal people, maybe even people that you see everyday, have their own stuff going on. It was really quite sobering.
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Old 05-06-2016, 08:54 PM
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It's late here, will comment more tomorrow. But you are correct.
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Old 05-07-2016, 08:08 AM
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Have you ever heard the saying "everybody's got a story"? Well, I found as I've gotten older, its true. Even the folks you see who seemingly have the perfect life....don't. None of us knows what goes on behind closed doors.

I've got skeletons in my closet, my father recently has told me about some things I never knew about. Thus the saying everyone has a story.

Its good to recognize that you have a blessed life. I feel the same way, I bitch about thing now and then, but really I have had a good life in hindsight.
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Old 05-07-2016, 08:16 AM
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It's all relative I guess.

Glad to have taken the bike out this morning. No rain thankfully, but overcast as hell. The clouds haven't broken in the past 7-8 days. It can really take a toll on one's mood (especially for people like me).
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Old 05-07-2016, 08:35 AM
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I've mentioned seasonal affective disorder, but the **** is real: its prevalence in the U.S. ranges from 1.4% in Florida to 9.9% in Alaska. It's therefore hardly surprising that I was feeling much better when I was in Egypt and Florida. To think, how much worse would it be if I were in Alaska? Interestingly, I decided about 1-2 years ago that if I live long enough to retire, I'll be doing so in Phoenix, though I'd welcome the opportunity if it came sooner. Its weather is fantastic year-round. Sure you'll get a couple of months of insane heat, but it's worth living the rest of the year in bliss. (Temperature is only one factor of weather though.) To put this in perspective, NYC receives only 58% of possible annual sunshine hours and only has 107 clear days per year, compared to Phoenix which receives 85% of possible annual sunshine hours and has 211 clear days per year. I'm sure this can all really take a psychological toll in the long run.
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Old 05-08-2016, 05:58 AM
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Day 104

YAY! ANOTHER RAINY DAY IN BLESSED NY. THE GODS HAVE FINALLY ANSWERED MY PRAYERS!

You know it was depressing at first, now it's beyond annoying.
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Old 05-08-2016, 06:57 AM
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Originally Posted by TorchedGrave View Post
Day 104

YAY! ANOTHER RAINY DAY IN BLESSED NY. THE GODS HAVE FINALLY ANSWERED MY PRAYERS!

You know it was depressing at first, now it's beyond annoying.
Since April 28, the weather has been

4/28 - Rain
4/29 - Rain
4/30 - Partly Cloudy
5/1 - Rain
5/2 - Mostly Cloudy
5/3 - Rain
5/4 - Rain
5/5 - Overcast
5/6 - Rain
5/7 - Rain
5/8 - Rain

Reading it like that somehow makes it funny.
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Old 05-08-2016, 03:46 PM
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Hope you get a break in the weather soon TG

D
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Old 05-08-2016, 05:03 PM
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Hopefully our weather will head your way. Its been beautiful for about 4 days straight now.
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Old 05-09-2016, 04:52 PM
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Day 105

OH yeah the weather today was definitely a much needed improvement. Another overcast day tomorrow, but at least no rain. Temp has been pretty good, but I can't wait for that first 90+ degree day.

Last edited by Dee74; 05-09-2016 at 05:43 PM. Reason: removed you tube rule 9
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Old 05-10-2016, 05:22 PM
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So today my team went out together as some sort of group outing to one of those mystery escape room things, with plans to go to a bar/restaurant afterwards. The whole thing was supposed to be some kind of team bonding activity I suppose. I was invited, but didn't go. In hindsight, I think I regret it a little, because I did think that it would be fun. I just thought it'd be awkward for me given that I'm still quite new, and that there'd be a dozen or so people, all of whom likely know each other, and only about 3-4 of whom I actually interact with (professionally, not even socially). I think that, perhaps subconsciously, I'm avoiding getting too close to people given that I don't consider myself as part of the team, and because I genuinely don't know how long I'll be there.

I'm also starting to get bored of work. I feel like I'm at the point where I'm simply going through the motions, which is weird because I'm barely into the learning curve. But it could also be because the past couple of weeks have been pretty slow.
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Old 05-13-2016, 04:39 PM
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So get this -- remember how I said that my mom was planning to stay abroad for a month longer? Now today she tells me that she might be staying for another 2-3 months! Isn't that something? And get this -- when I ask her why she can't just see a doctor over here, she tells me that she's too dizzy to fly, as if she's actually flying the plane. What a stupid answer. (Supposedly the problem she has is something with the inner-ear, which is why she's, supposedly, in a perpetual state of dizziness.) That's her excuse. I don't buy it.

I know it's all just a pretext to justify her stay longer, under the guise of "being sick." It's truly ironic: she first needed an excuse to go, which was because her father -- may God take his soul already -- was sick, and now she needs an excuse to stay, which is because now she's sick. It's a bunch of horseshit. I know this because she's had this same "problem" here, and it usually lasts for 2-3 days, rarely for more than a week, yet now, not only has it been 2-3 WEEKS, she's saying that it'll be another 2-3 months for her treatment, as if that even makes sense. What kind of ******* treatment do you need for 2-3 months? Cancer therapy?

This will sound messed up, but it's the truth. I really couldn't care less if the old ***** just rolled over and died tomorrow. The guy is senile and has dementia. He barely knows his own children's names. Not a huge loss for humanity.
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Old 05-13-2016, 07:22 PM
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Originally Posted by TorchedGrave View Post
So today my team went out together as some sort of group outing to one of those mystery escape room things, with plans to go to a bar/restaurant afterwards. The whole thing was supposed to be some kind of team bonding activity I suppose. I was invited, but didn't go. In hindsight, I think I regret it a little, because I did think that it would be fun. I just thought it'd be awkward for me given that I'm still quite new, and that there'd be a dozen or so people, all of whom likely know each other, and only about 3-4 of whom I actually interact with (professionally, not even socially). I think that, perhaps subconsciously, I'm avoiding getting too close to people given that I don't consider myself as part of the team, and because I genuinely don't know how long I'll be there.

I'm also starting to get bored of work. I feel like I'm at the point where I'm simply going through the motions, which is weird because I'm barely into the learning curve. But it could also be because the past couple of weeks have been pretty slow.
Your superiors are not challenging you enough. You need more to chew on, or they will lose you as you are capable of so much more than they offer. 2 cents.
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Old 05-13-2016, 07:25 PM
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Originally Posted by TorchedGrave View Post
So get this -- remember how I said that my mom was planning to stay abroad for a month longer? Now today she tells me that she might be staying for another 2-3 months! Isn't that something? And get this -- when I ask her why she can't just see a doctor over here, she tells me that she's too dizzy to fly, as if she's actually flying the plane. What a stupid answer. (Supposedly the problem she has is something with the inner-ear, which is why she's, supposedly, in a perpetual state of dizziness.) That's her excuse. I don't buy it.

I know it's all just a pretext to justify her stay longer, under the guise of "being sick." It's truly ironic: she first needed an excuse to go, which was because her father -- may God take his soul already -- was sick, and now she needs an excuse to stay, which is because now she's sick. It's a bunch of horseshit. I know this because she's had this same "problem" here, and it usually lasts for 2-3 days, rarely for more than a week, yet now, not only has it been 2-3 WEEKS, she's saying that it'll be another 2-3 months for her treatment, as if that even makes sense. What kind of ******* treatment do you need for 2-3 months? Cancer therapy?

This will sound messed up, but it's the truth. I really couldn't care less if the old ***** just rolled over and died tomorrow. The guy is senile and has dementia. He barely knows his own children's names. Not a huge loss for humanity.
Mentally prepare yourself. I understand what you are saying and possibly going through. We can get into it further on PM's if you'd like. My wife is Latin, same family bul******T. We will always take a backseat. Trust me friend, you will not win or change this situation. Jeff.
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Old 05-14-2016, 04:31 AM
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
Your superiors are not challenging you enough. You need more to chew on, or they will lose you as you are capable of so much more than they offer. 2 cents.
It's amazing how quickly you picked this up, because it's exactly what I've been thinking to myself. I'm the type of person who needs to be at an optimal level of stimulation. Too little and I get bored and careless, and that's when I make mistakes. (This might explain why I can now safely say how much I missed being in school.) I believe that, unlike most people, I can't tolerate doing the same **** all the time. It feels torturous. The reality, though, I believe, is that most people's jobs are just like that. How they deal with it is beyond me. Or do I just not have an accurate picture of what "having a job" is really like?
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Old 05-14-2016, 09:15 AM
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There are millions of jobs out there. Whether you are making ice cream cones or cars, or washing windows....its a job. Repetitive. A career path is often different, but you have to first get a position (with the right company) that will offer you that career path. To me, the hardest part is getting someone to recognize your talents and abilities. Most "jobs" just require a warm body to fulfill a very finite role in the grand scheme of things.
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Old 05-14-2016, 12:45 PM
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
There are millions of jobs out there. Whether you are making ice cream cones or cars, or washing windows....its a job. Repetitive. A career path is often different, but you have to first get a position (with the right company) that will offer you that career path. To me, the hardest part is getting someone to recognize your talents and abilities. Most "jobs" just require a warm body to fulfill a very finite role in the grand scheme of things.
Again that's why I liked school. It was the only thing that was engaging.
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Old 05-14-2016, 05:22 PM
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I understand TG, but you are not in school anymore. Do you want to enroll again and get a masters? If so, than do it. It might provide you with the time frame you need to get to where you want to be. I like drinking, but its not my reality, I have to deal with life on life's terms. If that makes any sense.
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Old 05-14-2016, 07:13 PM
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
I like drinking, but its not my reality, I have to deal with life on life's terms. If that makes any sense.
Not sure how this is related to the other stuff (if it was supposed to be), but I never understood the phrase "on life's terms." It just doesn't make much sense. Life doesn't have terms. People do. Are there things we can't control, certainly. But there are things that we can. And, to the extent that we can, we should try to. So if by "live life on life's terms" you mean just that, then I get it. I would like to be a "normal drinker," but I can't. So is that living life on life's terms? Maybe -- I just don't like how it's phrased.

Getting back to your point, I have thought about going to school, but that wouldn't really make much sense for me. Why? Well I can either go to grad school, presumably continuing with my undergrad discipline, or get another undergrad degree in something unrelated, perhaps more technical and more likely to lead to an "engaging career." The problem with the former option is that the only reason to go to grad school in my discipline is to teach (or become a professor), which is not something that I have an interest in. The problem with the latter option is twofold: first, it'll kind of make the preceding four years of undergrad essentially pointless, and, second, because I'll essentially be starting over again. That's as far as school is concerned. I'm not despondent, however. I know that going back to school is neither necessary nor sufficient for finding engaging work.
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