Dee74

When I was a drinker I made a lot of promises to loved ones, to friends and to myself about how I knew what was wrong with me now....I'd learned my lessons and I'd do better...

I really meant those declarations too - but I did nothing to back them up, and sooner or later (mostly sooner) I was back drinking and apologising for myself and my actions again, and declaring anew that I'd got it now....

After a while I gained a reputation as a kingsized BSer.

That got me indignant - I was very honest and trustworthy...I was very principled - how dare they!

Now I can see of course what they saw...a drunk mouthing off and paying lip service getting drunk over and over again.

When I eventually got sober, I made no declarations - I just got sober and stayed that way. I let my actions do the talking...and slowly, people trusted me again.

That was one of the great gifts of recovery

My days as a drunk BSer are long gone - and people can appreciate the principled honest and trustworthy guy I aim to be and hope I really am.

Be the person you want to be.

Put into your recovery what you want to get out of it.

I promise you won't be disappointed

D

SoberLife90

Good stuff Dee.

Notimetoloose

Thanks Dee, this is very true...
...and unfortunately you cant make it happen...gaining trust back takes as long as it takes and in some cases that is never....and that is OK as well...be your best

IronPhoenix

So true Dee. Thanks!

least

It took me a while to rebuild trust with my kids, but they came to see I was serious and our relationship is now better than ever.

SillyHuman

I totally get this! I have got scruples drunk or sober, I just cannot live up to them. One thing I realized recently is that, even sober, I cannot act in accord with my own values without help. For me, that help comes from SR, from therapy, and from the AA program and meetings.

awuh1

I agree Dee. It's action that makes the difference. Inaction (as in just resolving not to drink) is a weak plan for sobriety. It looks to me like you currently have at least 124,152 separate bits of action related to your recovery. I'd say that's quite a quantity of action.

Action is key.

aussieblue

Anna

Dee, the hard work you have put into your recovery is a gift to all of us here.

Dee74

Not all of those posts are winners awuh...I started slow LOL

D

leviathan

Yes, Dee.
I'm having the same experience. For me, this basic accomplishment became a corner stone for others. -other instances where I say I'm going to do something and then ACTUALLY DO IT!

It's great.

ChickChick

Great post! Thank you Dee!

awuh1

An imperfection can be the crack that lets the light in. It seems to me it's what you do with that light that's important. There is no doubt that you have accumulated a significant amount of good Karma D.

TNTStill

Couldn't of been said better.

Hawkeye13

There's quite a bit of "talking the walk" for drinkers, isn't there?

When I was talking about quitting instead of quitting by quitting,
I always thought I knew something, or had something, others didn't.

That turned out to be BS too. . .

Fly N Buy

Strong, heartfelt and timely post! Outside SR I was taught to watch their feet and not their lips.

Love I discovered is an action word.....

Thanks for your humble, gentle leadership. You carry the message as well as anyone I know.

SoberinSyracuse

It's good for people thinking about sobriety, or early in sobriety to hear this message. The only thing that really counts is what we do.

brynn

So very true! Awesome post!

Dharma33

Thanks for sharing this, Dee- it's great wisdom for all of us.

MIRecovery

Wise words and great post

The alcoholic sees himself through the eyes of his intentions. The world see him through the eyes of his actions.

In recovery or active addiction it is what we do that makes the difference not what we say or think.