ubntubnt

Likewise I thought I was a functioning alcoholic. Likewise I loved drinking and wanted to continue. Likewise I tried to moderate in all sorts of ways. Likewise I focused on the physical aspects of withdrawals/hangovers.

Then I realised that the word functioning was a game my addiction was playing with me all along. It was how it got me to drink. "everything in your life is ok so the drinking is ok".

Then I realised that the drinking was killing me and all the bad things that were happening to me were in some way related to my drinking.

Then I realised that no matter what I tried in terms of moderating I always ended up back where I started or worse.

Then I realised that all my emotional problems, my anxiety and panic, my not giving a **** etc were all caused by alcohol. This might sound obvious but actually when I was drinking it never occurred to me.

Once I realised all this I knew I had to quit. Forever. Discussion over. The fact that my addiction was telling me to quit was irrelevant, whether I wanted it didn't want to quit is irrelevant. I can never drink again. If I do it will kill me. I am sure you can identify will most or all of my situation. Good luck.....quit and never look back.

JarredMud

I asked myself this afternoon "would you rather live sober or the way you live now". I wasn't happy with the answer.

Thumpalumpacus

Why not?

SoberinSyracuse

This says it all perfectly. Things that helped me WANT to quit were 1) realizing the "functioning" descriptor was a LIE, and b) accepting that my only choices were quit or die.

Number3

I just wanted to say thank you to all who posted. I did not expect so much support so fast! I feel better already sharing my story.

Ariesagain

Your body is addicted and your subconscious mind has all kinds of sneaky ways to convince your conscious mind that a drink or 12 is a good idea.

In the end, it often boils down to a single issue...for me, my mother is slowly dying of a type of heart disease that is made worse by alcohol...oh and yes, she's still drinking. I have a 40% greater risk of getting the same thing, because it's often hereditary. I'm not putting myself or my husband through that if there's a way to avoid it, so here I am, day 28.

For you that compelling reason could be, do you want to see your kids grow up? Because at that level of consumption, damage is inevitable.

I wish you resolve...

FormerWineGirl

Number3, it sounds like you have had to learn the hard way, like most of us here, that moderation does not work after your brain chemistry has been altered by years of subjecting it to alcohol abuse. Forget moderation my friend, that ship has sailed. Just like the others have already said, you have a growing family that needs you. At the risk of sounding harsh, don't screw it up - consider yourself fortunate that you have not had a devastating event (yet) and quit while you are ahead. We all want to see you suceed. You can do this. We are all here for the same reason, and we can help each other.