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Financial Irresponsibility

Old 01-20-2016, 05:18 PM
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Financial Irresponsibility

It's really hitting me how financially irresponsible I've been over the course of my drinking career. The $5-10 daily really starts to add up. When you're caught in the middle of it, spending that much to get your daily fix seems worthwhile. But when you're starting to sober up, it hits you like a ton of bricks.

The guilt is overwhelming. I guess all you can do is rebuild. And make amends where necessary.
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Old 01-20-2016, 05:43 PM
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That's right. It's a fine line between accepting what you've done and not being overwhelmed by the guilt. Try to see positives from what you've learned and then let go of the past and move on to become financially responsible.
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Old 01-20-2016, 05:49 PM
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Couldn't agree more. I didn't want alcohol in the house so I would only drink at bars, so I was spending at least $20-25 a day. But I wouldn't order food unless it was on the dollar menu lol. The way we can justify things
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Old 01-20-2016, 06:57 PM
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That is a regret for me as well, but I just can't dwell on it, there is no way to get it back.
I am now counting what I'm saving and digging out of the financial hole I'put myself in. And, getting out of debt is a tremendous motivation for me to not drink.
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Old 01-20-2016, 07:00 PM
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It adds up quickly. But you'll also save quickly by abstaining. And the guilt will lessen with time, I think.
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Old 01-20-2016, 07:09 PM
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It does for sure, my last and final binge was running me at least $30 a day, that is drink at home closet binge, I only say that because when I sobered up and returned the empties, I was honestly shocked, but it's the past, I live tor today and look forward to a great and sober tomorrow.

Grief, resentment, guilt can eat us up and take a lot of energy, I have learned to let it go and use that energy on staying sober and happy, works for me.

Andrew
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Old 01-20-2016, 07:42 PM
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While the daily cost can add up, the other unanticipated consequences of drinking can really cost a lot of money too

Like a DUI with legal fees and all of the associated fines and penalties,

a totaled car,

a law suit from somebody that was injured by you,

a lost job,

a divorce,

health issues not covered by insurance ,

and the list could go on and on

I managed to avoid all of these things, so I consider myself lucky. If you've avoided all of these things, then I would consider you lucky too!
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:06 PM
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I've avoided some of those things, Zebra, but not all of them. I think that's what's weighing on me. I won't get specific right now, it's still too raw, but you've helped me pinpoint where my anxiety is coming from.

Thanks for the responses, I feel better getting this out there.
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:37 PM
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I feel this, too. Not guilt, but more like a major case of "O. M. G." Anyhow, I'm glad to be saving $15 a day now. And I made one final splurge -- a couple of sessions with a financial coach to put together a financial recovery plan.
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:48 PM
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Yeah. I would be in a very, very different position financially right now if it weren't for alcohol.

On the other hand, I have the rest of my life to save money by not drinking, and that adds up!
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Old 01-21-2016, 03:20 AM
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Things will get better
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Old 01-21-2016, 04:31 AM
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Hello Blue dog. Your post was painful for me to read because I identify with every word! And the longer I am sober the more it hits about how much drinking has cost me both directly and indirectly.

One of the things that has really helped me, thanks to my counsellor, is to write up a list of all the amazing things I have achieved, or do have in life, that could not be purchased. My list goes a bit like this :
I have my health which will get better and better,
I have 3 amazing children in great health
I am Lucky enough to be knocking on 50s door with both parents still alive, active, loving and present in our lives
I had a mentor at work when I was Young who truly kickstarted my career path, without her I may well still have been sitting at an office desk typing.

Etc etc. When the guilt comes washing in I make a conscious effort to think about what I have achieved and what I have in life that really matters that is not financially related.

I am sure you have lots of great things too that you can relish and be proud of.

Good luck!
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Old 01-21-2016, 05:06 AM
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Totally relate to all what's said...
I have been spending a small fortune on alcohol and alcohol related activities it makes me sick!
For someone who is meant to be a savvy Buisness person my investments have been of the absolute worst kind!!!
Intact when drinking money becomes nothing more than beer vouchers!!!
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Old 01-21-2016, 05:08 AM
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Bluedog, my career is non existent, and it was once thriving. If it were not for my husband, I would probably be homeless. At my age, I do not know that I can ever be anything but retail or service industry. Of course, there's not much work left in the US that is not one or the other.

And then there is the "get stoned and go shopping online" thing that I did a lot of last year. I managed to rack up a few thousand dollars in debt, and have absolutely NOTHING to show for it.

You are not alone, bluedog. Hugs to you.
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Old 01-21-2016, 05:29 AM
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What is important is the time we gain in the future. No longer do we have to waste anymore of our lives drinking. Try not to spend too much of today feeling bad about the things you did yesterday. Glad I'm no longer living that lifestyle.
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Old 01-21-2016, 05:44 AM
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Bluedog, I, like many here, can relate to what you are feeling. I'm financially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically recovering day by day. I do get caught in the trap of thinking how much I could've saved and thinking about the "what could've beens" had I not been drinking so much and so often.

Use your newfound awareness -- as painful as it might be -- for growth and learning. Not to sound cheesy, but you can only step forward from where you are standing right now. Move forward and start saving . . . and gaining :-)
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Old 01-21-2016, 05:58 AM
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yeah it was not easy. I sobered up and saw the extent of the financial mess i was in and it felt like i was drowning and gasping for air and i was utterly horrified and panic stricken about what i had done.

I guess i had stopped the leak tho on the whole 15-20 bucks at least every other day on booze. but i had no idea how i'd fix the mess.

i dunno for me i was more panic stricken then guilty about it. I kinda figured whats done is done i was in a dark place i was sick i needed help etc.. cant really blame myself for it to be honest.

but looking forward seeing that mess was mine and mine to solve was pretty scary.

i got it all fixed tho in time and it seemed impossible to me at one point. But I figured it out.

just remember your sobriety and sanity have to come first. the rest will fall into place after that.
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Old 01-21-2016, 06:13 AM
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When I would read those online articles about "easy financial tips" or something like that l, and read about how "the daily $3.00 latte really adds up," I realized that I was spending two to four times that daily on beer and wine and was throwing away a substantial amount of money. Now that I have an app that keeps a daily count of how much I've saved in sobriety, I have one more reminder of how drinking is not something I should ever even consider returning to.
Look at it as motivation not to drink and again, watch the money you save from not drinking add up, and let the guilt go- knowing you're making positive steps in your life now.
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Old 01-21-2016, 07:01 AM
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I get handed a lot of cash nearly daily because I give English lessons and my students usually pay me in cash each lesson. It went straight into my wallet and then straight in to the register at the bar for wine and cigarettes. Now that I have quit both I am saving what I would guess is €15-€20 a day. I am putting all of my English lesson cash into a little box. Once I get enough I want to take my sons to Lego Land in Denmark!
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Old 01-21-2016, 07:11 AM
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Now that you're aware of it you can make some changes. I have a lot of regrets with how I handled money in the past too, but forget the past - successfully restraining your spending will give you the same sense of contentment and strength that stopping drinking does. I think they complement each other, just like excessive drinking and excessive spending feed into each other on the other side of the spectrum
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