Still trying to figure it out....
 

Was about 3 weeks in with no desires to drink, was keeping to a dry January experiment. Went on a ski weekend with family and friends and I had a few beers!

I dont think I am resetting the count...i had a few (4) over the course of 2 days and was fine, no desire to binge or keep going, in fact didnt really think much about it.

No real desires or thoughts entering my head, so I will just keep on keeping on, maybe xmas day when i went too far with wine was my reset to employ behavior modification.

I am going to keep on this site and keep all informed. Thanks for the advice and feedback.

Dude, don't let the "few" bring you undone..

I'm glad your going ok but remember why you started this..

I hope you are the exception, but most of us are the rule.

The rule is "abstinence is not control."

If you are the rule, this means that you will ether change your mind and stop, or you will have another bad experience.

From reading your posts, I fear you are the rule.

My question to past self and to you are the same -- why risk it??

Why does anyone get high? There is always a reason, a reward.
I drank for 44 years before I learned that my addiction had become my purpose in life. I realized that my behavior was a reaction to my emotions, how I perceived issues.
When circumstances in my life, that I considered very important became overwhelming for me, I felt helpless, trapped and lacking control.
I learned to reverse this control, escape the trap, with the quick fix or mood changer of drugs. Granted this was Displaced corrupted thinking. I've since learned to regain control over helpless situation with direct healthy behavior that honors God. When you regain control of helpless circumstances with Direct assertive behavior there is no addiction. You don't need God to exercise direct healthy, assertive behavior but in my view it is the easiest and most valuable way. People change when they learn to manage their emotions. People change when they hurt enough and have to, or when they learn enough and want to.

Don't miss this opportunity to examine your life. Change your thinking and change your life. Don't let your emotions govern your behavior.

I think that as long as you leave the door open, it will be almost impossible for you to stop drinking completely. I'm glad you're back working on your recovery.

What resets the count? Not fine? And how many beers is that?

I don't think counting sober days is a requirement to sobriety, but if you do count them, count them honestly. Else you will be fine with drinking until things aren't so fine.

I completely understand. I wish the best for both of us on this journey. There is no "right answer" for every single person. I received a PM from an SR user who said he'd been drinking in moderation for many years now, after having gone through a bad battle with alcohol. I think right now it's still important for Bon of us to focus on sobriety as number one. However, I'm not going to let a glass or two derail me, either, if it doesn't.

Thanks for sharing

i had many different experiments when i was drinking.
after i got sober my conclusion was every experiment sent me deeper into denial and alcoholism.

So you are going to say you are 3 weeks sober even though you had a couple of drinks in the meantime? I just think only when we are completely honest with ourselves that we can have a real chance at long term recovery..

As an alcoholic I would have loved to be able to drink once in a while, but I know that will never ever work for me in the long run. Quitting once and for all is infinitely easier than trying to maintain that lifestyle of alcoholic drinking... Instances of "control" are nothing but an illusion but lead to more disappointment frustration and heartbreak. Wish you the best.

@Seep9871....Thanks and good luck on your journey as well. I read your posts and think we have a few things in common. I decided to hit the reset button after I found during the holidays drinking was becoming too easy and more of the norm than not.

Still plan on not drinking but if I do and do it on my own terms I dont want to feel like I failed. I set some goals and so far I am still on that path.

Good luck and keep in touch

Chiro,

I loved your post, and expect you may have read Dodd's work, which I have also read and found very helpful.

I don't think its the whole picture; but a key component.

Can you be more specific about your approach to addressing the underlying issues head on -- I ask because I am really struggling today and could use the help.

If you prefer to PM me, that would be great as well.

thanks for your thoughtful post.

Golfdad,

We are all there for you and wish you all the best.

Keep posting.

PS. I am good with folks counting anyway they want, or not at all, as long as they are honest with themselves about it.

This 1 million%

I am an excellent gambler. Last time I was in Las Vegas I won $5,000.

I found a guy in the lobby who was willing to bet me on a coin flip. I bet $12,000 and he bet $5,000. I called heads. It came up heads. I knew it would. I'm smart like that.

Well, last Christmas it came up tails and I lost BIG TIME. That was scary. Lots of people upset with me, but I felt pretty good about it being heads again this time. I just needed to reset my coin flipping. I know what I am doing.

The voice in my head can justify any amount of risk, even if you can't understand the risk-reward ratio.

Right?

Best of Luck on Your Journey. :ring

This both a little scary and telling.
Scary to think someone would hang around a sobriety forum, one geared toward abstinence no less, and purportedly console new members with the idea that long term alcohol consumption is achievable via example. Did they mention whether or not they own a white van ?
And telling of your state of mind that you took it as advise and wise enough counsel to share.

Seep9871
There is no "right answer" for every single person.

Maybe not, but there is only one right answer for every alcoholic.

Complete abstinence.

I'm sorry to hear you drank and I'm sorry to hear you're still leaving the door ajar Golfdad.

For many years I was convinced I'd find 'my' way - a way to drink but not suffer the negative consequences.

I spent the best part of two decades chasing that dream not realising I was doomed to failure because no one who drank like I drank could ever escape bad consequences.

There was no control for me - that was the whole problem with my relationship with alcohol.

When I quit for good I had to choose a side and I chose abstinence.

I'm glad I did because I could never be where I am today had I continued drinking.

I'm sad that there are people here who would promote drinking tho I'm not at all surprised they haven't got the guts to do it openly.

I have faith the bulk of our members are smart enough to know good advice from bad.

D

Hi Golfdad, I can understand and respect this experiment you are conducting on yourself. But if it goes in the toilet, we'll be here for ya.

I dont think I am resetting the count...i had a few (4) over the course of 2 days and was fine, no desire to binge or keep going, in fact didnt really think much about it.

so, what you're saying is: as long as it doesn't lead to desire to drink more, it's fine to have a few drinks. and it's especially fine if you didn't really really think about it.
so the problem isn't the drinking or the fact that something took you back there and what that might be.
in fact, there is no problem.
the only real problem would be IF you now desired more or IF you weren't fine.
you did the kind of drinking which doesn't matter in the least.
doesn't count.

and it's on your own terms.
yes, that was important to me, too. that i knew i had the choice. had the choice to decide to have a few.

what i conveniently didn't look at was that i didn't have the choice NOT to any more. that i drank when i had decided not to. that my own terms came from a very screwy perspective.