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Still trying to figure it out....

Old 01-20-2016, 05:28 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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If I drink, deliberately, I reset my sobriety clock. My sobriety is based on continuous abstinence.
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Old 01-20-2016, 06:38 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I said the same thing a few months ago; I'm not starting over counting as I only had a "few". I was ok for a while, then bam, I returned to old ways, and very quickly too.

Be very careful about this. I suggest considering it a bump in your recovery and learning how you can handle similar situations in the future so that you don't drink. The next time you might not be so lucky with having "only" 4.

Hope you are well.
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Old 01-20-2016, 10:48 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I can do that as well, after much practice all year; I finally got to the point where I can stop at two, sometimes over a while in between as well.
After I finished congratulating myself; I'd do this until I eventually ended up drinking until blackout once again after a few more successful moderations.
It always leads back to the blackout drinking for me.
I was never an everyday drinker- I was a wine binge drinker.
Its a slippery slope- be very very careful .

I don't want anything to do with alcohol, being sober its just nicer in every way, I hope you feel the same eventually.
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Old 01-21-2016, 03:07 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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I still don't agree that those few beers made any difference to the enjoyment of the holiday with your family, I think your addiction is calling a lot of the shots Golfdad by selling a few fairytales as to why alcohol is needed, Sober you would have had just as good a time.

For me having a few wasn't a validation that I had control, I could probably have a few today and leave things at that, however not on Day 1 but over the course of a week or so things would escalate back to as bad as ever, the false sense of security would be very shortly lived.

Great to hear you're sticking around!!
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Old 01-21-2016, 09:03 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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“Can you be more specific about your approach to addressing the underlying issues head on”

Specifically, in high school I was a social introvert. Talking to girls especially made me feel helpless. Drinking helped me escape the trap of feeling helpless. I regained control of my feelings by getting high. When high, I felt empowered and less shy.
In college and my professional life I was on autopilot with quick fix or mood changer of drugs. I made mountains out of mole hills with respect to circumstances that I felt were important. In my corrupted naïve mind, life should be easy and without pain. Drugs was an easy quick fix for my helpless feelings. Life is full of adversity and helpless, powerless circumstances. I could give dozens of examples but you get the picture. Eventually my first born son became a heroin addict and my wife left me because I got high upstairs while my son remained downstairs, home after a year of rehab!. I could not control either of them-I was emphatically helpless. At this point, desperate to make intelligent decisions, including potential divorce, I delegated control to God and as a result had a personal relationship that continues today. I completely lost my desire to get high. I can and do drink now on occasion but when I feel tipsy I stop. I have no problem stopping because now my values prohibit me from getting inebriated. I regain control over my helpless feeling with Christ Driven Behavior. People overcome addiction out of purpose-based motivation -- they quit when they recognize how their habit violates WHO they were, WHAT they want to be, WHERE they want to go in life. I believe a person's purpose and values are the main navigational tools in recovery from any hurt, habit or hang-up.
I now understand the behavioral science behind what Christ has been preaching for over 2000 years.
Here is some scripture that demonstrates the synergy of science and scripture for me.
Matthew 11:28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Life is full of circumstances that cause us to feel overwhelmed and helpless)
1. Proverbs 29:11 (don't let your emotions control your behavior)
2. Romans 12:2 (transform your thinking)
3. 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 (Delegate control to God for power)
4. John 14:16, 14-26 (God will return that control to you with a Helper)
5. Galatians 5: 22-23 (Values give motivation and purpose and change behavior)

I hope this gives some clarification. Google the exact scripture for specific vernacular. I also sent you a PM.
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Old 01-21-2016, 09:21 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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You've got right to give moderation a go, I'm a civil libertarian, it just did not, would not work for me. We're different, that's all. Best of luck.
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Old 01-21-2016, 09:26 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Smile

You've got a right to give moderation a go, I'm a civil libertarian. It just did not, would not work for me after many years of trying. We're different that's all. I wish you all the best. Write back next year with an update OK? That's was meant to be funny.

Last edited by Steely; 01-21-2016 at 09:31 PM. Reason: Rephrase
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Old 01-21-2016, 09:38 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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I tried controlled drinking, only to find the drink controlled me time and time again. Changing variables of amount, type, duration mattered little in the long run. Was back to old habits with blazing speed only worse each time on the roller coaster. Truth was I was denying myself the truth, I simply cannot drink like a normal drinker. Sure I could be all proud of myself saying I only had a couple, pat myself on the back. Then without warning a couple turned into stinking thinking of what a few more. Repeat, lather, rinse, repeat. It's such a easy thing to limit it right? The sooner I learned I wasn't like normal drinkers and having a few would always in short time mean going full tilt again realizing it happened with little or no thought at the time of doing it. Yep I tried your exact experiment 100+ times over the past 22 years and came up to the exact conclusion every damn time, right back on the rollercoaster now with more speed.

So it's not an if, its a when you do a repeat the exact reason your here in the first place, if not worse.

ALCOHOLvs me
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Old 01-21-2016, 10:11 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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If someone forcefully made me drink two drinks, I could. I could always do it just to prove I could. I don't subscribe to the complete loss of control as a direct result of minimal exposure idea.

This does not, however, mean I'll be having a beer.

I learned to drink to excessively from my very first time, and reinforced that habit THOASANDS of times, over multiple decades. A single drink or even a moderate two is nothing but a tease for me now.

If I drink, I'm gonna need at least eight or nine. I don't do that anymore.

I drank with gusto. I'm sober with gusto. It's not the only way, for everybody. But its the only way I can deal without starting to lie to myself again. -I'm trying to quit that too.
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Old 01-21-2016, 10:22 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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How are you doing today Golfdad?
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Old 01-22-2016, 11:25 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Smile

Hi Golfdad,
Must admit that IMO your not re-setting of the clock is not entirely fair, simply because this site is focussed on abstinence. At least that's what I thought, and the reason I am here. Let's call it the abstinence clock, a clock I do not wish to
re-wind but does not mean that you do not have a right to experiment and try as many (most) of us have, and as previous posts attest. People, particularly in the early days find the counting of days a source of real pride and achievement in their battle with the booze and which in its depths is a killer and never to be underestimated. It is a measure to help and assist in achieving long-term sobriety. I think we are on different clocks like those one's you see in banks and stuff - LONDON, NEW YORK, MOSCOW, PARIS etc. I think there are two different clocks ticking here the AC clock and the MC clock just gotta know what watch you are wearing and make sure you've got a good jeweler. LOL I do wish you the best, seriously. For myself I now want complete abstinance. Made it a month so far and feel so much better. The energy expended (for me) in trying to moderate was just not worth it.
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Old 01-22-2016, 05:19 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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golf dad checking in....still doing fine no alcohol since Xmas and the ski weekend last week....just returned from dinner with family and no real desire to drink and felt if I did have a beer or wine it would have been ok.... Had an extremely stress filled week at work that normally would have ended with a reward of a few beers or wine but no real desire.

I think now that I'm more conscious of how I was during the holidays getting to comfortable...and can control this. Been checking in as usual but In case I don't post it's not because I fell back...

Not really too worried plan on keeping on!
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Old 01-22-2016, 11:13 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Cool.
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