Raw
 

Am I the first to feel bullied into posting? I don't trust any of my feelings or reactions anymore, but being told to post pissed me off.

Is it normal to feel so raw and scared and insecure? I can't figure out if the depression is a symptom of my drinking or if I started drinking to suppress the depression.

:welcome

Hi Robynar. Come to think of it, my first post ticked me off pretty good, because it felt forced. Oh my gosh, I had forgotten it completely, and I am really laughing at myself after re-reading it. My first post:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ired-post.html

I was an idiot. :)

Robynar, everything you describe is normal for a newly sober person. The depression and insecurity, all of it. Hang tough. It does get better.

I felt the same way at first but after all the support on here, I felt like posting more and more just to help me get through the motions.

in my case it was both.

i'm like you if i was pressured into posting i'd be balistic. no one could have ever forced me to go to AA or something. early on merely the suggestion woulda been met with rage inside of me at least.

I like to live life on my own damn terms. I wanna have my cake and eat it too. Why cant I just keep doing things MY WAY!!!

yeah thats how i felt. I had to learn how to get over myself. its not always that simple either. Had to realize that this aint burger king I cant have it my way. I'm not in control of much of anything. But I can control how things affect me or at least try too.

I guess thats what they mean by saying living life on lifes terms. I'm prone to weight gain if i eat crap. I'm prone to horrible anxiety depression panic and full blown alcoholism among many other things if i drink. I dont like it. I'm pissed off. I wanna eat what want. i wanna drink like a fish and have a good time. And I also wanna not have ANY of the problems that come along with that sorta behaivior. But i cant why? because it just doesnt work out that way for me. thats just the way that it is for me. When i accepted that it got easier and I started to move on and realize I have to go with the flow roll with the punches.

And sometimes peoples suggestions are not always bad either. But getting over myself can still be a struggle sometimes.

I think its ok you feel how you do seems normal to me. I hope it eases up tho soon.

Who bullied you to post here ?

Hi Robynar :)

Not sure who or what forced you to post, but I hope you'll find, like I have, that it was one of the best things you've ever done.

It is normal to feel raw - but this is a great, safe, and very supportive community :)

D

Welcome to the Forum Robynar!! :wave: