KidsEverywhere

So I'm not going to drink starting today. I am excited about the new journey. But here is the rub. I have done this several times. I will quit and generally do fine with it as long as it is a focus. What happens is after a few weeks of not drinking, there will be some occasion that I will tell myself: "you've been fine, there is nothing wrong with having a few drinks". I'll have a few drinks and it is fine. Then a few days later, I'll do it again. Then after a few weeks of drinking a couple nights a week, I'm back to drinking almost every day. Im a moderate drinker- I don't get hammered- 3-5 drinks in an evening. But the problem is, having a few drinks becomes my focus everyday and that isn't good.
From reading the messages here, it seems most folks really struggle at first. My issue isn't so much until complacency kicks in after a few weeks. How do I keep that from happening and stay the course?

Hawkeye13

You make a mental commitment to not ever drink again.
I did what you did for years.
Moderation doesn't work for us
you have to give up the dream and when
the urge comes, recognize it for the fiction it is,
do what you need to do to get past it,
and it will get easier with time.

Anna

I think it's about making changes in your life at that point.

I had to change people and places in my life in order to stay sober. I stayed away from people drinking alcohol for about 10 months, until I felt comfortable. I also got involved in regular exercise. I think it's about balance and making changes in your life that support your recovery.

Obladi

I'm not sure KidsEverywhere, but I think maybe the clue is to start doing something to bolster your long-term sobriety now while your resolve is strong so that it is in place when you start feeling complacent. Something new, preferable at the time that you would normally drink.

Maybe it's going to a meeting every day, or going to the gym every day, or enrolling in a class at the community college...

Just an idea from a person who has gone through the same pattern as you have more times than I can count. Having started something new (Intensive Outpatient) seems to have given me a different mindset. This should prove itself out during the coming weeks, and I truly believe it will.

Dropsie

Complacency is a killer.

And our memories are so selective.

What part of this could be considered good.

But in a few weeks, we say, I got this, and off we go; just when we should be saying, I got this and sticking the course.

Its the never changing our mind part of AVRT ad its the hardest.

But we can do it.

least

I had to make sobriety my number one priority. No drinking no matter what. I also had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink.

FreeOwl

What you do, is you stop doing that.

You go into this with the focused choice that you are EMBRACING SOBRIETY.

You're not 'not drinking' - you are embracing SOBRIETY.

You go to AA or SMART or some other face-to-face support. You get yourself a therapist. You choose not to go to drinking establishments or events until such time as you're able to do so in sobriety without temptation. You get a Big Book and you read it. Several times. You work the steps. You get a sponsor. You get books on recovery and you read them daily. You make a list of all the lousy things you've done because of alcohol. You make a list of all the wonderful things that NOT drinking brings you. You read these lists daily. You meditate. You make exercise a priority. You go to the doctor and have a full check up and you focus on whole health and how sobriety supports that. You post here regularly. You get a sponsor. When you even THINK the slightest thought of drinking, you re-read the lists, you post here, you call your sponsor, you CHOOSE TO STAY FOCUSED AND HONOR SOBRIETY.

Then, you repeat it all again. Every day.

That's what you do.

ALinNS

Very simple, make a plan and stick to it, remember why you had relapses in the past and write down how you could have stayed sober, it's really that simple, following a plan simply boils down to how much one wants sobriety.

PurpleKnight

What do you do other than not drinking?

For me I needed to change my lifestyle up, new routines/habits, make some real decisions on what activities to get involved in and what people to hang out with, make sure I had daily support, multiple times a day, to keep me focused on the task at hand.

Left on my own in isolation, my addiction would grind me down, and willpower alone wouldn't sustain my Sobriety for very long.

A practical example was I used to schedule my SR check ins throughout the day, when I awoke, before I left for work, upon arriving at work, lunchtime, before leaving work, upon arriving home from work, before bedtime, so that the life change that I was trying to create was never far from my mind.

In those first few months I dug into the trenches of Sobriety and I was determined to clock up at least a few months to make it finally stick!!

You can do this!!

AnvilheadII

each day make the commitment to staying sober today NO MATTER WHAT. this means you do not drink under any circumstances, nor for any reason/excuse that may come up. not if the house burns down or you hit lotto.

each day ask yourself two questions:

1. What am i WILLING to do for my recovery today?
2. What WILL i do?

vanaprastha

I know people swear by "one day at a time" -- but this does not work for me. To me, it means I won't drink today, but I might tomorrow.

What works for me is "I will not drink again. Ever." It's scary, but I know it's something I have to do.

Soberwolf

Good luck get a plan going & no matter what don't drink Kidz

Dee74

Hi KE

What really worked for me was making the kinds of changes Anna suggested.
I also posted here regularly every day and read.

I really wanted change. I really wanted to be sober.

I didn't want another 20 years of the drink ----> relapse cycle.

I'd tried drinking, inside out - I wanted to give recovery a chance.

D