Lots going on
 

Hey all,

Ive got lots going on with school right now. I already feel behind. I knew this quarter was going to suck, I really just hope they aren't all this tough. Thats what I get for choosing a major in the sciences I guess.

On top of that I still feel a bit outta place at my new spot. The couple I stay with work from home so they are always there. Sometimes I just want a sandwich or a something to drink and I feel like I've gotta do the small talk thing. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood for small talk with everything on my mind. I feel sort of dull, like I'm going through the motions of life without life. LOL

On top of that ^, my girlfriend had a strange talk with me a couple days ago. You know the ones that start off like "I've been thinking about some things lately". Followed by the next line "but I know you've been busy so I haven't really wanted to bring it up". It sort of felt like my name suddenly turned to John and I just received a letter in the mail....

She's still off from school, she actually starts this week. She also got a new job, a decent one working in the field that she's going to school for. With our new schedules we haven't really had the time to see each other as often. So I think she's had some time to ponder and think. She had wanted to "see where we stand" in the relationship cause were going on 3 years now. She can't seem to take hearing about how school sucks for me lol, I can't really blame her I guess cause I can't really stand that it sucks either. She says the last time she can recall having a good time with me was like 5 months ago. She wants to do things, and have fun, and travel someday, and yada yada yada. She can't take me all down and out anymore. She says I spent practically the whole winter break studying, and she went with me because thats what you do in relationships sometimes, you sacrifice. She says when we went to a sporting event over the break I wasn't even that into it, which is true. She says I didn't even want to drink a few beers before we went, and that theres time and a place to drink and a time and a place not to drink, and apparently that was the time and place for it LOL. She says I don't really talk and mingle with her family or friends, that I sort of just shut down around them. Probably true. She wants to be able to go out with friends and have fun sometimes and include me but its very hard because I'm this way. Oh and apparently I don't show enough affection either.

I tried telling her that it won't always be this way. Life's on a new path and all and I just gotta get through school. Then the fun times can roll. I also told her that were kind of passed the whole honeymoon phase but that doesn't mean I don't love her. It just really sounded like she was ready to move on or something, which I told her as well. She said its not even that but she can't live like this, and she won't live like this haha.

This was two days ago, everything seems fine and dandy now after I talked to her for a good solid amount of time that day. After I pleaded on how much I do care about her and do see her in my future, and how vacations and fun would come some day. But I also told her I'm not there to mold myself into someone that she's gonna like either. I've been there, done that, and it didn't work. It's like, if you want to move on then your gonna move on. If you've got doubts then those doubts are gonna keep creeping in until its over. I mean, thats what I think anyways.

Like I said, shes been calling and stuff the past couple days like she always does, and I'll tell you what, I haven't been complaining anymore LOL. I've been trying to address her a bit more I suppose. All this has been in the back of my mind lately. I mean, I guess I'll just see where it goes. I suppose that's all I can do.

Cherish the time you have together, everything, I believe, works out in the end.

Hey soberish :)

believe it or not all that sounds pretty par for the course for me, remembering back to study.

My advice is to get on top of things as soon as you can - write a schedule and try not to leave coursework til the last minute :)

D

Very true. I would imagine you get somewhere you want to be eventually. One day things will look up, and I'm hoping for the near future here....

I'm doing some homework right now as I'm here typing. Well sort of, I've got my laptop on top of my papers at the moment :D

I really miss the extra time I had to get on here more often....

I'm advising you to do what I didn't do Soberish, LOL :)

D

Hang in there...and hopefully she will understand and be supportive...

LOL. I feel you, it's just so hard to stay focused sometimes!

Best of luck & focus Soberish

Hang in there Soberish, you can only do what you can do with the time you have.

The reality is better sacrificing a few things for only a few years of study now, and then you'll have your whole life with potentially the job you want to enjoy life, rather than looking back and regretting you didn't give enough time to your studies!!

Life doesn't all have to happen at the same time . . . there's plenty of years ahead, trust me!! :)

Thank you for this post. Sometimes I need that reminder because life has just been feeling so bad lately.

I'm used to being on top of everything in school and that was a lot easier to do at my community college. This new college is a lot more challenging and has put me in a state of panic because I'm not on top of everything. It's making me question my capabilities and leaving me to wonder if I'm fit for this place.

I have a class that is eating up all my time. It's the last lower division class for my major and I've heard that it is more challenging than most upper division classes. People call it a "weeder" class on campus because it weeds people out of the major. I don't want to get "weeded" out!

I've been going to sleep and dreaming/processing things from the class only to wake up in the morning in a state of panic.

We get to choose partners in this class and we both ran out of time to turn in an assignment. So we both got a zero for it. I know were not the only ones in the class that didn't finish but still. I guess all I can do is try my best, I'm just so used to my best being sufficient. I really just hope this all pays off.

Good on ya for going after your dreams and being true to yourself!