jesshonesty

Is it possible to do both? I am reading Rational Recovery and it is very anti -meeting and AA but I also like their idea of having power -- I feel like the idea that I am powerless let's me give in to the craving. Please let me know how you reconcile these ideas or is that not possible? Thanks, Day 2 today.

ALinNS

Sure hope so as I am taking from both plus many other areas to stay sober and for me it's working wonders, I take what works for me and leave the rest at the door on my way out. I am of the mind in my case there isn't just one answer, it's help from a lot of areas and using what works.

Andrew

RushTogether

The beautiful thing about this process is that you can do whatever works for you. I encourage you to attend meetings, a lot of them. Read, visit the forums, work at it.

I go to meetings so I am not alone, I don't believe everything that they teach.

Good Luck my friend.

MIRecovery

I do both. The whole concept of recognizing the beast talking to me is great. Making a big plan to never drink again is important. I love AA because once I drink I am powerless and I will drink again if I don't make some major changes in my life. What I don't like about RR is it does not address the underlying reasons I drank

ALinNS

Look into the SMART program, I took it as a patient for 28 days and it's is foremost as they believe we all have issues that started the abuse/self medication, in my case that was true but until three years ago no one ever told me, once I was aware what it was in my case, and the fact it's why I kept relapsing, I was able to formulate a plan which I started but dropped and relapsed eventually, now I am taking it head on and it's working.

Soberwolf

Do what works for you

JohnQPublic

Just as no medicine is right for everyone not every recovery method is right for all. Be eclectic and find what works best for you. Just remember your end goal of being sober is paramount.

Vinificent

Welcome and congratulations on making up your mind to live sober! I am doing a mix of both as well, but I have really found the forums right here to be the most helpful and available 24/7. I've never asked a question that wasn't answered here, and there are many diverse methods being used successfully. I do not do the steps of AA or have a sponsor, but the fellowship is rewarding and helpful. Good luck!

PurpleKnight

The aim of the game is to remain Sober, so whatever works is the best way forward.

I've taken things from loads of different ideas/groups, added plenty of things into my recovery from various places, I check out many sections of the Forum too, rather than one or the other!!

If it works, and you're comfortable with it, then do it!!

brynn

Like others have said, Do What Works for YOU! There's no right or wrong way as long as you stay sober!

jesshonesty

So interesting for this advice!Thanks. I don't know yet what works but I do know what has not-- like I said day 2. I see the beast and recognize that in me but I also like the fellowship and kindness in person in person at most meetings.

wehav2day

Jess, congrats on day 2!

I think you should do whatever works for you, and in finding what works for you, do a lot of stuff! the last time (hopefully) I stopped drinking, I pretty much took the "throw **** to the wall until something sticks" approach. I was sober for 10 months that way, but I wasn't super happy about it. Then I found a sponsor and did the aa steps.

I proved that I could be sober without aa, but the steps are what set me free. I hadn't even realized I was "white knuckling" until I was about halfway through those dang steps and realized I felt different. And way better. I started them two years ago, will have three years sober next month.

What's important is finding what works for you. I wouldn't shut any doors until finding the right one for you.

As for powerless, I'm not sure exactly what bothers you but I can tell you this... The powerless concept is not really that alcohol owns you or me, that we can't resist. We totally can resist drinking when we commit to a recovery plan.

What powerlessness to me means is that if I have a drink, I'm completely powerless once I let it in. If I drink, I start to obsess about drinking more. I will either drink more, or drinking will consume my thoughts and be a general pain in my ass. If I relent to the obsession, I can go right back to the hell that my life was becoming when alcohol did rule my world.

I don't need to keep testing that, I'm thoroughly beat. Once I realized that I was thoroughly beat, powerless, it was strangely liberating. The drive to continue testing that insane thought of "this time will be different, I can drink normally this time" stopped because I understood that if I'm beat, I never will drink like a normal person. I'm not going to magically look like Sophia vergara either, I don't have the idea in my head that buying the next right dress will turn me into her. That would be insanity, right?

DayTrader

You can certainly try. The two programs are quite different in their discussion of power though. There were several former SR members who were really strong RR folks and we had many really good discussions....real discussions where neither side was insistent on pushing their point of view on the other and I absolutely learned a lot.

As an AA'r, the biggest difference that would keep me from ever working both programs rests in their roots. RR is rooted in the recognizing your internal Alcoholic Voice and ignoring it. It also suggests taking charge of one's life and making lasting changes to better your conditions. AA on the other hand is more for the chronic alcoholic who isn't able to make those changes. In other words, they lack sufficient power to do so. (powerLESSness only comes up in regards to alcohol. the rest of the book/program deals with lack of power.........so power, just not enough of it.....and the discovery and reliance upon a power greater than one can create in and of themselves). AA is also a very spiritual program and is insistent on not working on one's self so much as working with others.

As my RR friends put it, RR is probably the easier program to swallow and since they don't really have a solution for those who are truly unable to fix themselves, it might be the better place for the acute alcoholic (what AA would call a "hard drinker") and AA the better program for those who can't manage their own sobriety and/or for the chronic alcoholic.

Fly N Buy

My experience is solely with AA. The program appeals to me for several reasons - lots of readily available meetings , a welcoming fellowship ( supplanted bar buddies ) a suggestive program of recovery - and statements in our literature such as this " we know only a little".

AA was a gateway to not simply eliminating alcohol but opened a door - a door of my choosing - towards recovery. The concept of powerlessness is OFTEN misunderstood. I'd suggest people have their own experience determining what that means to them.

Find your way - have your journey.
This is where we share all of things

Together -WE stay sober

Dee74

Just a reminder folks
It's best when folks simply share their own experience and avoid sharing their opinions of someone else's experience

Dee
Moderator
SR

OpenTuning

I went the AVRT route, I liked what it was setting out to do and it fit with my personality. But I didn't use that on its own. The support here on SR was crucial. But I also read the Allen Carr How to Control Your Drinking book, which aims to kill off all the arguments your AV makes for why drinking is good. And that was very effective. Really changed how I thought about alcohol, even to the point of making me realise I didn't actually enjoy the taste. That was a biggie and a real surprise. Wasn't through some kind of magic or trickery, more about removing all the brainwashing that had me convinced I liked something I really didn't.

But I don't think that book on its own would have done the trick either. It really was a blend of all three things that got me to the point now that I wanted to be. Which is to simply not want to drink, as opposed to not letting myself drink. The desire is pretty much gone (barring occasional attempts by my AV to test the waters again, but a quick trip to SR kills that off).

I can't comment on blending AVRT with AA as I didn't go the AA route, but I very much share the view that you should explore lots of approaches and use what makes sense to you from wherever you find it.

jesshonesty

When you say "we totally can resist drinking with a recovery plan" I think that is where I am now. What plans worked? Right now I am watching tv, reading, texting others, going to 1-2 meetings a day and committing to myself and whatever higher power there is. Saying some prayers and reading inspirations where I find them. I have tried to come to meetings and "confess my desire" to stop for SO LONG but I don't really do it-- maybe I haven't committed to myself and that is what I am trying desperately now to do. Also I take care of my mom 4 days of week (she stays with me) so that helps. I am supposed to be looking for a job but am so scared that will add more stress so trying to find something that will be a secondary seat to sobriety and also help me feel productive.

I wanted a magical shift of my psyche so I wouldn't want to drink, and kept trying to do the steps but was never sober enough to get through them. I guess sobriety has to be first and then I would love to be "free" and not "white knuckling" but I gotta go through it and even though it is hard, it is not impossible-- which is what my AV tells me it is.

Day 3 -- so grateful I have someplace safe to say it!!

THANK YOU ALL!!

jesshonesty

This was such a helpful post, thank you so much!!

Thumpalumpacus

Congrats on Day 2 -- keep on keepin' on!

As for your question -- do you eat everything from the Thanksgiving buffet? No. You enjoy those dishes that work for you, and avoid those which don't.

Anna

Jess, as others have said, do whatever works for you.