Day 7 and the world sucks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 324
Day 7 and the world sucks
I am having a bad day. I woke up angry and depressed. I feel like I am just doing all the things that never worked before, AA (my first encounter remains one of the most painful experiences of my life), counseling, hanging out on SR trying to convince people not drink (boy, is that getting old).
I decided to buy a new table and wandered the store, becoming increasingly irritated. Found nothing. Went to the Alano club, no one was there but one guy. Since there were no women, I left. Called my sponsor twice, no answer.
At least I know better than to expect hope with weed or booze. No disappointment to be had there. I think I prefer no hope to false hope, and that is what all this - every part of my recovery plan - looks like to me today.
I do not want to go to a meeting. I will cry at the drop of a hat. I am sorely tempted to call in to work tonight. As it is, I have fellow employees installing siding, so there is incessant pounding, and grumpy men all over my property. My dogs cannot go outside, and the snow just keeps coming.
Today sucks.
I decided to buy a new table and wandered the store, becoming increasingly irritated. Found nothing. Went to the Alano club, no one was there but one guy. Since there were no women, I left. Called my sponsor twice, no answer.
At least I know better than to expect hope with weed or booze. No disappointment to be had there. I think I prefer no hope to false hope, and that is what all this - every part of my recovery plan - looks like to me today.
I do not want to go to a meeting. I will cry at the drop of a hat. I am sorely tempted to call in to work tonight. As it is, I have fellow employees installing siding, so there is incessant pounding, and grumpy men all over my property. My dogs cannot go outside, and the snow just keeps coming.
Today sucks.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,463
I'm sorry you're feeling angry and irritated. Silly, have you changed other things in your life besides stopping drinking? Do you have hobbies or activities that you enjoy? Have you been able to make sober friends and have a social life? How about volunteering in your community? That's something that can bring so much gratitude to your life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey Silly,
Sometimes there's just gonna be some bad days, even in Sobriety, life may throw a few curve balls, or it could just feeling out of sorts, but that's ok, life isn't always going to be jumping out of bed and seizing the day!!
With the SR convincing side of things, it can get frustrating at times, as some members you might never see again or for months, some may not take on the advice, but I like to focus on the 1 person who changes their life around or the penny finally drops for them off the back of a phrase or sentence, that's what can make it worth while!!
Hang in there!! SR is here for you!!
Sometimes there's just gonna be some bad days, even in Sobriety, life may throw a few curve balls, or it could just feeling out of sorts, but that's ok, life isn't always going to be jumping out of bed and seizing the day!!
With the SR convincing side of things, it can get frustrating at times, as some members you might never see again or for months, some may not take on the advice, but I like to focus on the 1 person who changes their life around or the penny finally drops for them off the back of a phrase or sentence, that's what can make it worth while!!
Hang in there!! SR is here for you!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
SH, My emotions were all over the place the first week.
It's going to take some time to adjust. The way I tried to get through these rough days was to keep in mind, I was one day closer to reclaiming my life.
Lots of great suggestions above, hang on SH, we didn't get here in a week so it may take some time to regroup.
It's going to take some time to adjust. The way I tried to get through these rough days was to keep in mind, I was one day closer to reclaiming my life.
Lots of great suggestions above, hang on SH, we didn't get here in a week so it may take some time to regroup.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 324
Thanks everybody. I am not good at having fun. My big hobby is gardening, and that is a few months away. I used to walk dogs for the shelter. They probably still need people.
My sponsor just told me to write out my history of substance abuse, from the first use to the last. I am supposed to include all the crisis and drama. So, I have a long writing assignment, which is handy since I am a writer.
It feels better having something tangible to do.
Thanks all for your replies. It helps more than you know.
My sponsor just told me to write out my history of substance abuse, from the first use to the last. I am supposed to include all the crisis and drama. So, I have a long writing assignment, which is handy since I am a writer.
It feels better having something tangible to do.
Thanks all for your replies. It helps more than you know.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
Hi Silly,
Sorry you are in such turmoil, You do however bring up something that brought back a memory, when my daughter moved away for University she became involved the SPCA to ward off the homesick feelings, she loves animals and she also walked dogs for them. She graduated two years ago has a very good career yet she is still active and on the board.
Maybe call a friend and go to a movie, bowling something to get you out and doing something works for me.
Hope things get better and they will. I ovten wonder just how many games our AV plays with our emotions.
Andrew
Sorry you are in such turmoil, You do however bring up something that brought back a memory, when my daughter moved away for University she became involved the SPCA to ward off the homesick feelings, she loves animals and she also walked dogs for them. She graduated two years ago has a very good career yet she is still active and on the board.
Maybe call a friend and go to a movie, bowling something to get you out and doing something works for me.
Hope things get better and they will. I ovten wonder just how many games our AV plays with our emotions.
Andrew
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi SillyHuman, sorry to hear your having a rough day. Keep in mind, its just one day. And soon enough it will be over. I think you are doing great. Stay the course...as they say. When I feel down, I lay down with my dog for awhile, he always seems to understand. haha.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 97
Hi Silly
Hang in there... Bad days seem so much worse when you are in the early days of sobriety. Yesterday I had people working on my basement. Jack hammering and pounding all day really put my nerves on edge. I'm glad that your finally getting your siding! I also love to garden and with all the snow here it feels so far away. Get out and buy some seeds. This always cheers me up! Also you can order some seed/plant catalogs online. It's good to get some positive mail. Maybe brush your dogs? This always relaxes me and they will love it. And of course lots of tea. Lol my go to now.
It will get better! ((Hugs))
Hang in there... Bad days seem so much worse when you are in the early days of sobriety. Yesterday I had people working on my basement. Jack hammering and pounding all day really put my nerves on edge. I'm glad that your finally getting your siding! I also love to garden and with all the snow here it feels so far away. Get out and buy some seeds. This always cheers me up! Also you can order some seed/plant catalogs online. It's good to get some positive mail. Maybe brush your dogs? This always relaxes me and they will love it. And of course lots of tea. Lol my go to now.
It will get better! ((Hugs))
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Silly,
I understand exactly where you are coming from. I don't even like gardening -- sleeping is good, TV, anything that I can do lying down.
I can say that I hope you won't give up on SR -- I love your posts.
It gets better.
I understand exactly where you are coming from. I don't even like gardening -- sleeping is good, TV, anything that I can do lying down.
I can say that I hope you won't give up on SR -- I love your posts.
It gets better.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Hope you can get some rest and feel better tomorrow. I don't do well with bad days either but sometimes just getting out for a walk can help. Can you do that? Or rent a movie? Movie let you escape for a couple hours.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by SillyHuman 
I am having a bad day. I woke up angry and depressed. I feel like I am just doing all the things that never worked before, AA (my first encounter remains one of the most painful experiences of my life), counseling, hanging out on SR trying to convince people not drink (boy, is that getting old).
I decided to buy a new table and wandered the store, becoming increasingly irritated. Found nothing. Went to the Alano club, no one was there but one guy. Since there were no women, I left. Called my sponsor twice, no answer.
At least I know better than to expect hope with weed or booze. No disappointment to be had there. I think I prefer no hope to false hope, and that is what all this - every part of my recovery plan - looks like to me today.
I do not want to go to a meeting. I will cry at the drop of a hat. I am sorely tempted to call in to work tonight. As it is, I have fellow employees installing siding, so there is incessant pounding, and grumpy men all over my property. My dogs cannot go outside, and the snow just keeps coming.
Today sucks.
I decided to buy a new table and wandered the store, becoming increasingly irritated. Found nothing. Went to the Alano club, no one was there but one guy. Since there were no women, I left. Called my sponsor twice, no answer.
At least I know better than to expect hope with weed or booze. No disappointment to be had there. I think I prefer no hope to false hope, and that is what all this - every part of my recovery plan - looks like to me today.
I do not want to go to a meeting. I will cry at the drop of a hat. I am sorely tempted to call in to work tonight. As it is, I have fellow employees installing siding, so there is incessant pounding, and grumpy men all over my property. My dogs cannot go outside, and the snow just keeps coming.
Today sucks.
I start my day (typically) with an A to Z gratitude list - this makes me focus on what I have to be thankful for in my life. I was a person who wanted everything I didn't have - very ungrateful, mostly. Or at least not very thankful. It took me around 30 minutes to complete. Now I can do it in around 3-5 minutes max! There is so very much to choose from. At first my sponsor got me on track by using things like my hands - you're grateful you have hands, right - he'd say. It went from there.
I had to stay sober long enough to see some light, but it did come for me. Somewhere around 60-90 days I lost the obsession to drink by working the step of Alcoholics Anonymous and logging in here continuously. Early I flipped the "it's all about me coin" one day it was pride the next day it'd land on self pity. I learned it's about the same.
Keep coming back - stay sober
Good or bad, this too shall pass......
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 2,671
Silly I've got no advice to give as I'm only now on day 6 myself but I want you to know I'm here with you. I can relate to what you're saying about the emotional side of things as I have been up and down all week. Crying for nothing, overeating, and just not being myself.
Please keep going as you're doing so well- sending you lots of hugs and love X X X
Please keep going as you're doing so well- sending you lots of hugs and love X X X
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
The really good thing about recovery is that a bad day is usually just that - a bad day - not a bad week, month or year - and I've had all of those when using/drinking - I'm sure you have too.
Its an act of faith to get through this difficult transition phase from using to good, happy sober life (and I don't mean capital F faith in this instance).
I wasn't convinced it was going to all work out, but folks who'd been there assured me it would...I trusted them...and it did
Noone would stay clean and sober if day 7 was as good as it got...fortunately, that's not the case
Hang in there
D
Its an act of faith to get through this difficult transition phase from using to good, happy sober life (and I don't mean capital F faith in this instance).
I wasn't convinced it was going to all work out, but folks who'd been there assured me it would...I trusted them...and it did
Noone would stay clean and sober if day 7 was as good as it got...fortunately, that's not the case
Hang in there
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this today, Silly. There's a big bunch of stuff we go through getting sober especially when it's still early days.
Your kind and caring nature shines through in all your posts, Silly. Your hanging out on SR and helping people to stay sober is more meaningful than you may think.
Your kind and caring nature shines through in all your posts, Silly. Your hanging out on SR and helping people to stay sober is more meaningful than you may think.
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
Originally Posted by SillyHuman
I am having a bad day. I woke up angry and depressed. I feel like I am just doing all the things that never worked before, AA (my first encounter remains one of the most painful experiences of my life), counseling, hanging out on SR trying to convince people not drink (boy, is that getting old).
I decided to buy a new table and wandered the store, becoming increasingly irritated. Found nothing. Went to the Alano club, no one was there but one guy. Since there were no women, I left. Called my sponsor twice, no answer.
At least I know better than to expect hope with weed or booze. No disappointment to be had there. I think I prefer no hope to false hope, and that is what all this - every part of my recovery plan - looks like to me today.
I do not want to go to a meeting. I will cry at the drop of a hat. I am sorely tempted to call in to work tonight. As it is, I have fellow employees installing siding, so there is incessant pounding, and grumpy men all over my property. My dogs cannot go outside, and the snow just keeps coming.
Today sucks.
I decided to buy a new table and wandered the store, becoming increasingly irritated. Found nothing. Went to the Alano club, no one was there but one guy. Since there were no women, I left. Called my sponsor twice, no answer.
At least I know better than to expect hope with weed or booze. No disappointment to be had there. I think I prefer no hope to false hope, and that is what all this - every part of my recovery plan - looks like to me today.
I do not want to go to a meeting. I will cry at the drop of a hat. I am sorely tempted to call in to work tonight. As it is, I have fellow employees installing siding, so there is incessant pounding, and grumpy men all over my property. My dogs cannot go outside, and the snow just keeps coming.
Today sucks.
There's nothing wrong with crying at a meeting, either. You think the people there haven't hit the depths of despair? Believe me, you will get support.
It's great that you are consistently urging others here not to drink, consistently supporting them when they're low, but -- and this is only my opinion, it's worth every penny you've paid for it -- you should make sure you set aside most of your energy for your own battle. Your sobriety comes first.
Hang in there, sweetie.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 203
I've been there. It gets better, it really does. I know this may sound stupid but find a project in your house and dive in.
During my first few weeks I started painting....not canvas....walls! I literally painted every room in my house over several months (and had to repaint the first one..too shaky). Not sure why that helped, I never cared less about painting before. But I needed something to do that didn't involve drinking. Some activity that didn't involve anything. No people. No pressure. No thinking. I needed something I could do day or night. Painting tired me out and also gave me a sense of satisfaction. I literally would wake up at 3AM, pick up a brush or roller and paint a section of wall and go back to bed. It helped with the nightmares.
Find your project and dive in. (FYI: Buying a table won't work because it involves people, time constraints (when the store is open) and thinking.) Good luck. It gets better, it really does.
During my first few weeks I started painting....not canvas....walls! I literally painted every room in my house over several months (and had to repaint the first one..too shaky). Not sure why that helped, I never cared less about painting before. But I needed something to do that didn't involve drinking. Some activity that didn't involve anything. No people. No pressure. No thinking. I needed something I could do day or night. Painting tired me out and also gave me a sense of satisfaction. I literally would wake up at 3AM, pick up a brush or roller and paint a section of wall and go back to bed. It helped with the nightmares.
Find your project and dive in. (FYI: Buying a table won't work because it involves people, time constraints (when the store is open) and thinking.) Good luck. It gets better, it really does.
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