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Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
I am so sorry you are going through this. But as others have said before me let this be a new start, one door closes and another door will open. Of course you are worried about money, security...all of the things we all worry about. But they are actually less important than you think right now. The absolute priority is to stay sober. Only then will you rebuild your life and go on to greater things.
Please listen to my story and don't let it happen to you: I lost my job around 5 years ago in a specatular and humiliating alcohol related incident. It was so public that I wanted to jump of a bridge. About 12 months later I managed to find another job, something I loved, better paid, great supportive environment. My career took off. I pinched myself everyday it was too good to be true. Then , as you have probably guessed, same thing. Got drunk at a business event, demoted, then put on 'gardening leave" then finally sacked. I don't think I am employable now in my home town. But I will deal with that at some point in the future. All I am doing now is concentrating on staying sober one day at a time, and being a good Mum. Is money tight? Hell yes. Are we having to go without certain comforts? Yes. But it is all relevant. Health and love are more important than a salary at the moment.
You will find a new job. Just make sure that you are fit and ready for it.
Thinking of you.
Please listen to my story and don't let it happen to you: I lost my job around 5 years ago in a specatular and humiliating alcohol related incident. It was so public that I wanted to jump of a bridge. About 12 months later I managed to find another job, something I loved, better paid, great supportive environment. My career took off. I pinched myself everyday it was too good to be true. Then , as you have probably guessed, same thing. Got drunk at a business event, demoted, then put on 'gardening leave" then finally sacked. I don't think I am employable now in my home town. But I will deal with that at some point in the future. All I am doing now is concentrating on staying sober one day at a time, and being a good Mum. Is money tight? Hell yes. Are we having to go without certain comforts? Yes. But it is all relevant. Health and love are more important than a salary at the moment.
You will find a new job. Just make sure that you are fit and ready for it.
Thinking of you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
I'm sorry too, Toby. At the end of my drinking career I was drinking at work - the only reason I didn't get fired was because the boss was a friend. I understand the remorse you're feeling - but please be kind and patient with yourself. Drinking now will not be a comfort - it would only add to your anxiety. You've worked so hard for your 21 days, and we're proud of you. 
Better days are coming, Toby.
Better days are coming, Toby.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Sorry about your job Toby - but so please you got through yesterday without listening to your AV.
Maybe you could start looking online to see if there are any volunteer pages for your local area and how to go about applying. I know people (in and out of the rooms) who found a new passion and career through volunteering, and others for whom it acted as a way of keeping some routine in their lives, and gave them something very positive to put on their CV / job applications, as well as a chance to network in areas that they wouldn't have known about before.
This isn't just an ending of a chapter in your life. It's also the start of a new one..
Wishing you all the best in your journey to recovery, through sobriety, to freedom, serenity and joy.
Maybe you could start looking online to see if there are any volunteer pages for your local area and how to go about applying. I know people (in and out of the rooms) who found a new passion and career through volunteering, and others for whom it acted as a way of keeping some routine in their lives, and gave them something very positive to put on their CV / job applications, as well as a chance to network in areas that they wouldn't have known about before.
This isn't just an ending of a chapter in your life. It's also the start of a new one..
Wishing you all the best in your journey to recovery, through sobriety, to freedom, serenity and joy.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 203
Hi Toby
I am worried about you. I get the feeling that you hung in for 21 days sober to make it to the hearing hoping that being sober would make a difference in the outcome. It didn't. So now what? It would be easy to use this as an excuse to pick up a drink. What will be hard is using this as a reason to stay sober.
I know you have a hard time with the higher power thing but maybe this was the plan. The plan for you to start new. The plan for you to stay sober for you. You can't change the past and in fact, if you keep looking back you won't see the plan forming in front of you.
Stand tall....you made it 21 days without a drink...Did you think that was possible 22 days ago? You can do this.
I am worried about you. I get the feeling that you hung in for 21 days sober to make it to the hearing hoping that being sober would make a difference in the outcome. It didn't. So now what? It would be easy to use this as an excuse to pick up a drink. What will be hard is using this as a reason to stay sober.
I know you have a hard time with the higher power thing but maybe this was the plan. The plan for you to start new. The plan for you to stay sober for you. You can't change the past and in fact, if you keep looking back you won't see the plan forming in front of you.
Stand tall....you made it 21 days without a drink...Did you think that was possible 22 days ago? You can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: West Midlands UK
Posts: 78
Thank you all for your support. Made it through yesterday and into day 22 today. I know that drinking will not solve anything and is the curse that brought me to this difficult and painful episode in my life. I have found some really good friends within AA that I have been talking to in the last 24 hours and of course SR is wonderful. When I am too emotional to talk I can post on here and always receive a warm welcome, understanding and good advice.
I cannot predict how I will feel tomorrow, next week or even in an hours time but I am going to do my utmost to stay sober using every resource possible.
I cannot predict how I will feel tomorrow, next week or even in an hours time but I am going to do my utmost to stay sober using every resource possible.
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
Good for you, Toby. It's all in the perspective. You can say, "Eff this, I got sober and still got screwed," and use this experience as an excuse to drink, or you can say, "Well, it is what it is. This too shall pass, and better days are ahead as long as I continue not to drink." You realize that drinking over it won't undo what happened and will only prevent you from moving forward to something better. Good on you!
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