Normal???
 

I'm just curious. A lot of people I have seen since getting sober (8 weeks) has told me that you should feel "normal" by now. My question is, What the hell is normal?!?! I've been a heavy drinker (1.5 ltr of vodka) for over four years. I still have very bad anxiety and panic issues. I've recently been told that I have agoraphobia. Still don't feel right going out and doing "stuff". I guess I'm asking and venting at the same time because it really pisses me off when people tell how I should and when I should feel. I'm working really hard to stay sober. It's not been an easy journey by any stretch but the journey is part of life. Does anyone else no what people mean by "normal"?????????

Scottie

I like to think of myself as feeling better with each day that passes rather than getting back to normal. Better within myself, better about myself, and in better physical shape. But it's a journey. I don't think any of us can say you will feel better or "normal" at 6, 8, 10 weeks... whatever. It is a process, not with a fixed end point.

I have drank for so long I am not sure that I know what "normal" actually feels like.

So hang in there. I can't answer your question about when will you feel normal. But I can promise you that you will start to feel better and better (I am at 10 weeks now)

All the best too you.

Who's telling you that you should feel normal by now? I didn't feel "normal" for quite some time - a lot longer than 8 weeks. It ebbed and flowed. Sure, I felt physically better but mentally and emotionally I was still raw.

I had to start feeling out what "normal" was for me. I had to make and incorporate a lot of changes in my life. I am still not wholly comfortable in certain situations and I've been sober for a little over two years now.

If you are polling people for answers, maybe stop asking for a consensus opinion on what "normal" is or should be for you? Everyone's journey is individual and what might be normal for me, isn't normal for you.

Congratulations on 8 weeks. That's a big achievement.

I don't believe in "normal"
The only thing I know is that this is normal compared to living as an active alcoholic and addict.
Life's still hard, but it is so much damn harder with the bottle...

Thanks for sharing mate :)

Scotty your doing great at 8 weeks I know when I was 8 weeks I felt better than I did when I was drinking I too had bad anxiety as for normal I'm not sure what to say who said this to you & in what context was it said ?

One thing to know for sure is at 8 weeks your winning

Dear s, I don't know of any clinical or societal definition of normal. Each person could have their own normal. Maybe what those people mean is that you would stop feeling the want to use. I also disagree with that. I think you are doing the right thing in wanting to be sober and need to focus on that. Finding a new way to live without using can often change a person into a new normal. I don't think you should worry about where you will eventually be but focus on where you are now. Keep doing great and come back. Respect John

My best advice is to listen to yourself, to your soul. Recovery is a very personal journey. I still have anxiety issues because I had them long before I began drinking. Drinking made them worse, and recovery is better, but they are still there and it's a daily issue for me. If you had no anxiety issues before drinking, then be hopeful that things will settle in time.

Two great books on how to manage anxiety/panic attacks without medication:

When Panic Attacks by David Burns MD
From Panic to Power by Lucinda Bassett

I don't know what 'normal' is either. This is a personal journey, and there is no hard and fast rule as to when you "should" feel a certain way.

Congrats on 8 weeks sober! :scoregood

Ok. I never asked for anyone to tell me what is normal for me. I know that is a question I have to find on my own. My question was more of "Is there a normal for us recovering addicts?" I'm not polling anyone, I'm just curious do we ever recover to what is considered normal. Sorry for the confusion.

If you are having bad anxiety and panic attacks then congratulate yourself because you are normal. At least for this point in your recovery. Tons of newcomers experience similar problems for months or longer so don't feel alone. It totally sucks but you will start to feel truly normal as the days go. You can't rush it unfortunately, but at least you are on your way.

You may want to read about PAWS. There are some good posts about that on here. Basically, your brain needs time to adjust chemically. Don't blame yourself for this process. You just need to ride it out as best you can.

As far as the people that I have heard this from. One was an ER doc that said that I was over reacting to anxiety and just needed to calm down and take a breath. another one was a substance abuse counselor I see on a weekly basis. And of course then you have the "normal" people whom have never dealt with addiction and wonder why we can't just "quit".

I think "normal" is a subjective term so it's hard to answer the question. I do believe we can recover and live any life we desire.

I think that doctor is lacking some information or wasn't clear.

Thank you all for replying. I think this is a good discussion for newer recovering people like myself.

Hi Scottie

I'm close to 9 months.I drank heavily for about 15 years and it seems to me that I just never learned to deal with my "normal" emotions in the first place. I was numb for so long. I look forward to getting a little better each day. I was a real mess at first.

Are you feeling a bit better than when you started?

hello GS,

Sometimes. I have my ok days and my "my goodness the world is falling on my head days!" I don't think I've had a day free of my anxiety issues yet. I have been told that I have panic disorder. I did have anxiety issues before the drinking and I'm sure my consumption of alcohol help turn that into what it is now.

Like you I have no idea what Normal is, I seen it take in my case three months or more before the anxiety attacks stopped, I learned three years ago how to use meditation to ease them and it works for me. I wouldn't worry what other people think, as long as you are sober you are doing great and I assume you have set some goals.(plan)

I heard someone say that 'normal' is a setting on a washing machine. Pretty corny, but still......congratulations on your 8 weeks. That's what sounds normal/sane to me - you made a decision to stop drinking 1.5 ltr's of vodka a day. How sane is that. Yay!

Stick with it Scottie. Even if it doesn't feel like it, you are making progress.
Don't underestimate the small memories and small things you are picking up now that your sober. They all add up big time and are making you a better person.

Rooting for you.

I interpret "You should feel normal" to mean "You should be doing what I want you do be doing."

Just my two cents.