MLD51

Jim! Glad you found support at the AA meeting. When I first went I was amazed at how upbeat and helpful most people were. I wasn't expecting quite that. I felt relieved that there was a place I could go where people "get" what I have been through and wouldn't be shocked at anything I might say. It's like free group therapy for me. I hope the Ativan helps you with the suicidal feelings. I know how you feel. Towards the end of my drinking time, I figured I might as well be dead. Never got serious about doing it, but there were definitely days where the thought of killing myself was there. That's how much I hated myself. A little over a year sober, and I'm confident I'll never feel that way again. That can happen for you, too.

brynn

Nice job, Jim hope you'll keep hanging here with us, too!

Marty....I'd definitely wait on cleaning the carpet till after the sleep over! Save yourself from doing it twice!

Thanks for the support y'all. I talked with my brother and dad is sleeping it off so I'm off the hook for having to go over there for now. Maybe by tomorrow I'll have steeled myself for a short visit. Maybe not. We'll see.

I know this is awful, but at least I had an excuse to get out of plans tonight. I'm holed up in my bed with a cup of tea and homemade shortbread.
Xo

MLD51

Not awful at all, Brynn. Sometimes it's just better to stay at home. I don't feel guilty about it anymore. I figure it's self-care.
Glad that your dad is okay, and that your brother is taking care of things. See how you feel about visiting tomorrow.

brynn

Thanks Marty
Xo

trachemys

Jim, we got you.

Behan

Nice one on making meeting Jim. Sounds like you are doing all the right things to help yourself.

Sorry to hear about the family trouble Brynn. An intoxicated parent is frightening and difficult to talk about.

How is K getting on in the big apple I wonder?

Gonna try and get some sleep now, if junior allows it. He's acting a bit mental, a hint of bedevilment in his eyes.....

B

gettingsmarter

Happy Friday evening all. Workout done, belly full of spicy food and I know I'll be hangover free in the morning. Can't get much better for me. Stay safe evrybody.

MLD51

This made me smile.

Plenny

Ok Jim, you've done so many good things to brace yourself and give yourself a safety net. I'm impressed at your ability to reach out and communicate. I'm glad your first meeting went well. Stay close

LBrain

wow - it's almost 930... time flies... I showered and dressed to go to best buy to get a first hand look at computer offerings but started looking online at options and reviews... 3 hours later I realize I didn't eat. So I had a bowl of my stew... yummy. Now it's too late to head out.
Any computer wizards out there who can recommend a laptop? No gaming or high end graphics requirements. Need a slot for video disk, the usual usb ports - a ethernet port would be nice, hdmi and the normal stuff... 5G ssd would be nice with 8GB ram, touch screen okay but not big on my list unless I could write on it - oh, it has to be <800 USD. hahahaha 13" screen or 15"
i7 processor 6500U, but a five will do... will settle for HDD at least 500 but I'm liking the static hard drive idea... still reading this?

Anyway, the wife received a bag of Lindt Lindor Dark chocolate truffles as a gift. To do her a favor I started eating them. After about 6 I decided to read the ingredients/nutritional label. One serving = 3. 56% of daily requirement for saturated fat. So in a span of an hour last night I had triple the requirement. After I read the label today I backed off and only had about 6.
they are AWESOME!

Behan, the little guy is going mental already? Imagine when he's two...

strugglingJim

you've all been very helpful to me here, I hope that some day soon I won't be so self involved and maybe offer support to others.

LBrain

okay, I did a quick review, PK - enjoy the snow, Brynn hang in there, you too Marty - congrats on the house, soberp is on the post surgery diet, eat girl!
hope weasel made it okay, Trach, youda been proud of me, tearing the loins from inside that deer and throwing them right in the pan - melt in your mouth goodness. Decided to let it hang another day... maybe it'll put on some weight over night...
Jim, hang in there and POST, POST, POST if you need to.

and Js, if you need a place to clean come on down here

happyandfree

Brynn...my heart goes out to you. I know how it feels. My mother was the alcoholic. I hated her for it and moved as far away as possible. Then I realized I was following the same path. I didn't want my kids to hate me. I didn't want them to have a sloppy, ugly mother like I had. I feel like alcohol robbed me of my mother, and it had a profound impact on my life. Today would have been her birthday. She passed away 10 years ago. I hope your Dad can get sober one day.

Jsbodhi

Jim: no worries, its rough at the beginning xoxo
I never got that depressed from my drinking ( though I did get
depression and anxiety during hangovers, just normal stuff though)

But when I would use cocaine; the only way I could fall asleep while coming down, was by daydreaming about shooting myself in the face :/
It was really weird because I never had a cocaine problem, it was purely recreational, I think it probably had something to do with the dopamine; I never felt that way any other time in life.
My point is once you get the substances out of your system you'll hopefully level out a bit more xoxo

happyandfree

Soberpotamus. ...you've got to eat and keep up your strength! Force yourself to eat something. You will feel better and heal faster. I'm sure it's scary, but you must eat.
jim...you sound good! Keep going! It'll get easier -

learningagain

Hey, hope everyone is doing well! I am still useless at catching up with posts and following, so apologies!

Son went to his dads so I have been catching up on paperwork and carbs...yes carbs! I feel like I cannot get enough. I wonder if the evening hunger is because I was an evening drinker? So, I drink my teas, but still reach for the carbs!

Maybe my carb binges are the reason my weight loss has stalled!

Soberpotamus

I've had two bottles of chocolate Ensure this afternoon and evening. Feeling much better.

happyandfree

Oh good, soberpotamus!

gettingsmarter

Brynn tea and shortbread sound fantastic.

Jsbodhi

Another good ole' music video about drinking.
(Don't watch if in good mood)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=V0lw3qylVfY