Seep9871

Need major encouragement right now. My mom and I pledged a "Banuary" this month - as far as she knows I just wanted a healthy detox and it is all in good fun. These last couple weeks, it has been so helpful knowing that I'm doing this for/with my mom (just focusing on this month has made my sober days/nights less daunting.)

Well, she just called me, laughing, to tell me she had broken her Banuary - it is my dad and aunt's birthday and they are out to dinner. She also admitted she planned on drinking this weekend and a charity auction. Oh, well, no big deal! -in her eyes. I do NOT blame her. To her, this was a fun game.

To me, this is killer. She broke her pledge, why not break mine? Just tonight, just a couple glasses of wine. I've been tired, too tired to work out today. Happiness from sobriety is wearing off.

Just a couple glasses. I'm really really considering it.

least

It must be disappointing that she broke the pledge, but aren't you getting sober for yourself?

Never mind what she did. Stay sober for your own well being.

Dee74

Because this is about you, not her.
We all want to be that normal guy or girl...but we're just not.

It's never a couple of glasses tho is, it?

I took 'a night off' in 2004 to drink after being sober a little while...I was 'out' drinking for another 2 and a half years...non stop.

The stakes are a lot higher than one night and those mythical two glassses of wine.

Krisinwi

Think how you will feel tomorrow. Play it through. That has been helping me a lot.

SoberinSyracuse

If the two of you had pledged not to leap to your deaths off a high bridge, and then she did, would you think it wise for you to do so as well?

No, you're no leming. You got this.

ALinNS

This is about you, take the high road and lead by example and stay sober, maybe she will look to this as inspiration, if you give in you lower yourself to her standards. just my opinion.

Andrew

Nuudawn

Forgive me but for some reason I am reminded of that ole standby motherly advice "if so and so went and jumped off the bridge, would you?". I certainly understand how the combination of your ma's broken commitment and your excessive tiredness contributes to a bit of a "well what the hell"kinda feeling.

But why? Since you note a January commitment of no alcohol....why not keep it? Why not do yourself proud by keeping the promise to you, yourself. Good feelings abound when we keep our own word to ourselves...and others. Press on my friend...press on. Reassess whatever it is you are doing when you have kept your promise to yourself. This is YOUR word we are talking bout here...your ma needs to reconcile herself to her own.

JohnQPublic

I feel that your mothers pledge breaking is hard. Remember that we cannot let others actions be justification for what we do. Your mom can drink but if you don't want to you don't have to. It sounds a lot like a good AV using something to tempt you into drinking. Come back for support no matter what happens. Best of luck, John.

Seep9871

Screw it. I did a circ workout instead. Feeling good on endorphins. Enough so to beat the AV tonight I think. Will be back later though, I'm sure. I'm sticking close to SR tonight. Thanks 👊🏼

Delilah1

Good for you for choosing a natural high! It is not easy, I have made the mistake of thinking "Screw it, today has been stressful, what is the harm in having a few glasses of wine?" The problem for me is I then find myself thinking that every day.

Hope to see you on here later!:-)

Martin1883

Nice!

Your Mom is doing her own thing and has no bearing on 'Your' goals, needs and wants.

You're doing great!

SillyHuman

Seep, good job! I was worried, but you got the stuff to stay sober. Thanks for showing us how it is done. Hugs to you.

Hevyn

Seep - be proud of yourself for making the right decision. It's easy to cave, especially in the early days of quitting. We grow stronger every time we get over one of these hurdles.

ChickChick

Glad you stayed sober! Great job!

Jeane

Try being honest with her about why you want to quit and she may support you more. Sounds like a deal made to try a fad diet for fun and then throw it out the window. Maybe she doesn't know it's serious...?

ReadyAtLast

This is the problem with sobriety pacts. when 1 has a drink the other thinks they 'deserve' one too

Maybe your mum doesn't have a problem, maybe she just fancied a drink and will be fine, maybe it doesn't really matter?

The only thing that matters is you and why you are getting sober. Your sobriety is not dependent on hers. Just concentrate on yourself. Well done for not giving in

chrcarlson

Your sobriety is YOUR responsibility alone. No one else can do it for you. You have to do it for yourself.

PurpleKnight

Great job on pushing through Seep!!

firstymer

I am proud of you Seep.

Soberwolf

Rootin for you Seep you can do this