Oh no
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
Oh no
New Year's Eve I drank a little and I have yet to put the drink down. Apart fom some days off, I have been drinking ever since. After a good run of more than a month and a week sober.
I'm afraid of posting drunk, since I tell things that are far too personal and regret saying them. So don't expect many responses from me today. I thought: "Oh no" when I remembered what I posted previously.
Today I was supposed to quit. But was still tipsy when I woke up so I went straight to the store and got beer. Tomorrow I will wake up the same. But then it must have stopped. I am concerned about many things, most importantly my health. If I don't quit I get to look like David Bowie in one of those pics where he looked yellow...
I'm afraid of posting drunk, since I tell things that are far too personal and regret saying them. So don't expect many responses from me today. I thought: "Oh no" when I remembered what I posted previously.
Today I was supposed to quit. But was still tipsy when I woke up so I went straight to the store and got beer. Tomorrow I will wake up the same. But then it must have stopped. I am concerned about many things, most importantly my health. If I don't quit I get to look like David Bowie in one of those pics where he looked yellow...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,422
Hey Mike, I've been living this cycle since I picked up last Christmas. It's taken me a year to get the guts up to come back here - I don't mean to see you all, but to have the courage to put the bottle down. I seriously feel you xxx
If you really want to have a sober day, why don't you log on here when you get up? Have a chat with a few people and see if it gives you the boost to stay clean for a day?
xxx
If you really want to have a sober day, why don't you log on here when you get up? Have a chat with a few people and see if it gives you the boost to stay clean for a day?
xxx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
Originally Posted by Coldfusion 
You can always put this off one more day, and you can always stop now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
Originally Posted by stillsleeping
Hey Mike, I've been living this cycle since I picked up last Christmas. It's taken me a year to get the guts up to come back here - I don't mean to see you all, but to have the courage to put the bottle down. I seriously feel you xxx
If you really want to have a sober day, why don't you log on here when you get up? Have a chat with a few people and see if it gives you the boost to stay clean for a day?
xxx
If you really want to have a sober day, why don't you log on here when you get up? Have a chat with a few people and see if it gives you the boost to stay clean for a day?
xxx
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
But your compulsion will be even more overpowering tomorrow. Alcoholism is progressive--it is a one-way street, not a cycle that you can complete. The time to stop is now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Honestly Mike, you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink.
I started my day one right here. The support here at SR gave me the strength to keep it going.
I like stillsleeping's idea, as well.
Sign on sober... you can do this!
I started my day one right here. The support here at SR gave me the strength to keep it going.
I like stillsleeping's idea, as well.
Sign on sober... you can do this!
Last edited by Opivotal; 01-13-2016 at 12:35 PM.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
You have already proven to yourself that you can go 5 weeks without drinking. That means you CAN do this. However you have to want it. You have to be so done with this cycle that you aren't willing to keep repeating it. What is holding you back?
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife
You have already proven to yourself that you can go 5 weeks without drinking. That means you CAN do this. However you have to want it. You have to be so done with this cycle that you aren't willing to keep repeating it. What is holding you back?
What is holding me back? That is an excellent question. Fear, compulsion, the way I feel about reality. That last one may be the main reason and it's stupid. I was sober for 5 weeks and sober-reality is awesome! I have no words to describe it. Maybe the best way I can put it is bliss. Like being in heaven.
I only feel terrible about reality when I drink or am going through withdrawal... So I drink. You have to admit that for someone with an above average IQ, that is pretty stupid.
I know it, but the compulsion drives a lot too. And being lonely, life passing me by, being a 34 year old virgin just wanting to find love and have a family.
And... we just got into the are that makes me reluctant to post while drunk. It's too embarrassing.
I'll be back tomorrow or if the hangover is a very nasty one... one of these days.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,323
*Just complete the binge*...Scary sentence there my friend. 
Some of my past binges have completed in the following ways.
1)Detox centre
2)Treatment In Patient
3) Unexpected Hospital visit
Just speaking from my own experience...Completing the binge wasn't the right thing to do.
I wish you luck, i encourage you to NOT complete the binge. You don't NEED to.
Findingtheway
Some of my past binges have completed in the following ways.
1)Detox centre
2)Treatment In Patient
3) Unexpected Hospital visit
Just speaking from my own experience...Completing the binge wasn't the right thing to do.
I wish you luck, i encourage you to NOT complete the binge. You don't NEED to.
Findingtheway
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
Mike, If I can stop I am of the opinion anyone can, the question is always the same, do you really want to?
As noted above the process is simple, the work hard at first, how bad we want it can be measured by how hard we work a plan to get and remain sober, honestly it's that simple.
Go to Emerg is a good first step, Detox IMHO is always better as it's a safe environment and they will keep you until you are ready but at least here unless you know someone inside the waiting list is long and growing, which in itself is sad.
If those two are not an option go to your doctor, try to do it sober but explain what is going on, medication and detox at home is possible, I have done it but it's tough if you are not accountable to anyone, i.e. someone around to be with you that doesn't drink.
Even though you are drinking right now, ask yourself is this how Mike wants to live the rest of your life? You need to want it bud.
Andrew
As noted above the process is simple, the work hard at first, how bad we want it can be measured by how hard we work a plan to get and remain sober, honestly it's that simple.
Go to Emerg is a good first step, Detox IMHO is always better as it's a safe environment and they will keep you until you are ready but at least here unless you know someone inside the waiting list is long and growing, which in itself is sad.
If those two are not an option go to your doctor, try to do it sober but explain what is going on, medication and detox at home is possible, I have done it but it's tough if you are not accountable to anyone, i.e. someone around to be with you that doesn't drink.
Even though you are drinking right now, ask yourself is this how Mike wants to live the rest of your life? You need to want it bud.
Andrew
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Hi Mike
One of the things I notice from your recent threads is that you are drinking already when you post ( no judgement here just an observation) Personally I think in order to really get the best benefit from the support and advice from all the members here it would great if you could try and find the means to get connected and post here before you pick up that first drink. Not easy I know. But if you don't manage to get on line here whilst you are sober you risk to start going round in circles.
All the best to you.
One of the things I notice from your recent threads is that you are drinking already when you post ( no judgement here just an observation) Personally I think in order to really get the best benefit from the support and advice from all the members here it would great if you could try and find the means to get connected and post here before you pick up that first drink. Not easy I know. But if you don't manage to get on line here whilst you are sober you risk to start going round in circles.
All the best to you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,584
Exit off the cycle before you finish up in a spin. 
Don't worry about having made posts when drunk, we've all done it either here or somewhere else. Stick around here and talk about your struggle and get the support you need. Read the struggles of others which will give you the connection you seek in these early days. You are not alone. I've found that clocking onto the 24 hour commitment thread really does help me. It keeps me contained within the day and gives me focus for one little but important day. Then I clock on next day and lo and behold I have two days under my belt. I am really new to these type of forums and don't really have a lot to offer others except to tick the 'thank you' button just for being there. I am now 3 weeks sober all because I committed to just one day. 
Don't worry about having made posts when drunk, we've all done it either here or somewhere else. Stick around here and talk about your struggle and get the support you need. Read the struggles of others which will give you the connection you seek in these early days. You are not alone. I've found that clocking onto the 24 hour commitment thread really does help me. It keeps me contained within the day and gives me focus for one little but important day. Then I clock on next day and lo and behold I have two days under my belt. I am really new to these type of forums and don't really have a lot to offer others except to tick the 'thank you' button just for being there. I am now 3 weeks sober all because I committed to just one day. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hi Mike,
It seems like you may need outside help to stop. You can put the beer down and call an uber to take you to the hospital. I do not know much about inpatient rehab, but there are many on SR who have found success with it. You may want to look into that.
It seems like you may need outside help to stop. You can put the beer down and call an uber to take you to the hospital. I do not know much about inpatient rehab, but there are many on SR who have found success with it. You may want to look into that.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by MikeM
Rationally I know this is true, but stopping now is impossible in my mind and feelings. They're so overpowering, like a compulsion. They even tell me that I will be unhappy for the rest of my life if I don't complete the cycle, so why risk it? Just complete the binge, wake up tomorrow and it will be fine. Or so my AV says. which I cannot yet say no to.
Bottom line, talk is talk - if you can't put down the bottle initially, find someone that will do it for you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Mike
One thing that has helped me is just telling myself: 'You can't drink. you can't have it, period. *Not*An*Option* When I find my thoughts going in the direction they shouldn't go, I tell myself: "Don't go there! Remember where you ended up last year because of drinking!"
I have a good memory. Sometimes that's helpful and sometimes not and in some cases my memory is way to good. BUT, I'm no longer going to get down on myself about that....I've decided that I will put my GOOD MEMORY to use!! And never forget the hard lessons I've been taught.
When you get out of bed in the morning, wash your face with cold water...it'll help SNAP you awake - I learned that secret from my Grandma...Then, walk to the kitchen and make yourself a pot of really strong coffee. If you are not a coffee drinker, try one or two or a COMBO of 1,2,3 teas...there are some really good delicious and healthy teas out there...all you gotta do is go the the health food store and shop around...that's where I come up with great ideas...I love to go to the health food store and just take in what all there is..of course I can't take it all in...but oh the smells...lovely!! I went there just yesterday and man do they have some cool stuff...some of kinda spendy, though...
If you feel up to it,learn how to make homemade bread and pour some of your beer you got left in the bread and then pour the rest down the kitchen sink...you can do this....we are all standing there shoulder to shoulder with you at that sink as you pour it down...You may already know how to make bread, but learning NEW SKILLS is good for the brain and helps create new pathways to replace the addicted ones.
One thing that has helped me is just telling myself: 'You can't drink. you can't have it, period. *Not*An*Option* When I find my thoughts going in the direction they shouldn't go, I tell myself: "Don't go there! Remember where you ended up last year because of drinking!"
I have a good memory. Sometimes that's helpful and sometimes not and in some cases my memory is way to good. BUT, I'm no longer going to get down on myself about that....I've decided that I will put my GOOD MEMORY to use!! And never forget the hard lessons I've been taught.
When you get out of bed in the morning, wash your face with cold water...it'll help SNAP you awake - I learned that secret from my Grandma...Then, walk to the kitchen and make yourself a pot of really strong coffee. If you are not a coffee drinker, try one or two or a COMBO of 1,2,3 teas...there are some really good delicious and healthy teas out there...all you gotta do is go the the health food store and shop around...that's where I come up with great ideas...I love to go to the health food store and just take in what all there is..of course I can't take it all in...but oh the smells...lovely!! I went there just yesterday and man do they have some cool stuff...some of kinda spendy, though...
If you feel up to it,learn how to make homemade bread and pour some of your beer you got left in the bread and then pour the rest down the kitchen sink...you can do this....we are all standing there shoulder to shoulder with you at that sink as you pour it down...You may already know how to make bread, but learning NEW SKILLS is good for the brain and helps create new pathways to replace the addicted ones.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by teatreeoil007
Mike
If you feel up to it,learn how to make homemade bread and pour some of your beer you got left in the bread and then pour the rest down the kitchen sink....
If you feel up to it,learn how to make homemade bread and pour some of your beer you got left in the bread and then pour the rest down the kitchen sink....
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