A bit of wreckage of the past
 

A year or so ago, I took my dog to an obedience class. It did not go well. One of the other attendents kept barking orders at his dog. He scared the pee out of my very gentle dog, and even got my PTSD going. Since I was using heavily at the time, I was over-reacting to everything. When I got home, I wrote a nasty letter to the trainer, a nice gal, who promptly refunded my money.

My daughter just asked me to join her for one of this gal's classes. I would love to. But, I do not know that the trainer would have me back. I feel like an idiot.

My daughter's husband just got deployed, AGAIN, and I would really love to be there for my daughter.

I know what I should do. I am having trouble picking up the phone.

You can do this. It was a year ago and time, and you, have changed. Picking up the phone is just about the hardest thing for me to do. Take a deep breath and call the trainer. It wasn't her that was the issue, right? It was the other owner's dog. Just talk to the trainer.

Amends are not for the other person they are for you. We have to do what we can to repair the past. If it goes well fantastic. If not you have done what you can and move forward with a clear conscience. The alternative is having that crap bouncing around in our heads for a lifetime

I'd go since you want to be there for your daughter

You can do this!! :)

I half chickened out and sent her an email.

Dear _______, I was in your class more than a year ago. At the time, I was having mental health issues that I did not understand. LOL, but you probably figured out that much from our email exchange. Part of it was PTSD, and in one class there was a guy yelling at his dog. He scared my dog to pieces, and even got my PTSD going. After the class, I wrote you a nasty letter, which I have always regretted. I am sorry about that letter. You did nothing wrong and did not deserve that.

I am doing a lot better after some therapy and meds. I would like to try your class again. Would you have me back?

She has not responded. We'll see. I feel better at any rate.

Exactly. She may or may not have you back, but that's on her. You've done what's right and made your best effort to be there for your daughter. That's got to be a warm fuzzy for you.

You did a good thing, SillyHuman - handled it just right with the email. :hug:

That was a nice letter. Your part is done now.

I hope she lets you back so you can be there with your daughter.