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New to forum - Day 10

Old 01-12-2016, 06:49 AM
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New to forum - Day 10

Thought I'd chime in and say Hey!

Thank goodness it's morning. I made it another day and today marks my 10th day. I quit drinking on 1/2/16 around 11:30pm.

On that last day of drinking, I had consumed nearly an entire 750ml bottle of Vodka (by myself). I wasn't a social drinker either and rarely went to a bar. I have been thinking for a year or so .. It was getting out of hand!

So I decided to quit! It felt empowering, that first morning, in a way, when I poured the remaining drop of alcohol into the sink. Then proceeded to go around the house and clean up other bottles (mostly empty bottles hidden in draws and closets).

OK.. so I made it through the first few days with a cold and stomach problems. Nothing terrible. Spent much of the time in bed watching movies which seemed to pass the time (in a good way). I just told everyone I had the "flu" and needed rest. Keeping me away from the area of the house that I would normally be drinking in.

So the positives are I am feeling better. My brain feels alive! Feeling not so down on myself (ashamed) for being a slave to the stuff. Also feeling better that I do not have to take inventory (of what I have in the house to drink and what I need to buy everyday). Not to mention saving the money.

There was a close call on Sunday (day 8). I was making dinner for the family and looked in cupboard for a mixer. There was a bottle of flavored vodka (my wife had for a Holiday drink recipe). I grabbed it and a Coke out of the fridge. Poured about 2 inches into a short glass and the rest with the Cola. The glass sat on the counter for less than a minute. Before I poured it down the drain. This seemed to be a huge victory and I think about that everyday.

** I have on question that I need advice on for now..... I am going to do this alone. I am not into groups or anything like that (for now). So far I haven't told anyone yet.. My fear is telling people and then relapsing.

Or having to explain things. Like at a business meeting after hours and everyone orders drink. Then I order Soda. So when and how does "one" talk about it? Do you broadcast it to everyone? Or what?

Glad I found this site. Thank you for listening.
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Old 01-12-2016, 07:02 AM
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Welcome stay focused and great work, there is a vast library of information here to help us as we all know not all days are rosy but we can come here for peace and members that understand, what is encouraging is no matter what we are going through, someone here has been and came out the other side. To me that is one of the keys to why these forums work, especially SR for me.

All the best
Andrew
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Old 01-12-2016, 07:03 AM
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Welcome to SR, Martin; very glad you found us.

Congratulations on ten sober days; well done.

I didn't tell anyone when I began my sober journey but the focus of my life at that time so I didn't have many occasions to bring it up or explain my soda water.

It was probably a year before I had a frank conversation with anyone and even then (and now) I am very selective with whom I share the information.

It's up to you if and with whom you share. Many people (including me) believe that the disclosure and conversation should stay out of the workplace.

Again, welcome Martin.
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Old 01-12-2016, 08:04 AM
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Welcome to SR, Martin. I am glad you are here with us. I have managed to stay sober for 2 1/2 years now, using SR as my primary source of support. Most people need more than that. (AA, SMART, AVRT, Inpatient, etc.)

I spent a LOT of time here at SR, especially in the first few months of sobriety. I posted occasionally, read a lot, and gain a great deal of support from the good people here.

You need to find a plan that works for you. Without a plan, your chances of success are reduced.

As to who you tell that you are trying to stay sober, I told virtually no one. If I found myself in a social situation where I was expected to drink, I simply made up an excuse for not drinking on that occasion. And did the same thing the next time. People don't really care, in my experience, if you choose not to drink.

Good luck. I hope you will post often and let us know how you are doing.
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Old 01-12-2016, 09:08 AM
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Welcome to the family. I wouldn't go telling anyone at work, just say that you're improving your health, which is true.
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Old 01-12-2016, 09:17 AM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
I wouldn't go telling anyone at work, just say that you're improving your health, which is true.
That seems like a good one!

Thanks for all the replies everyone
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Old 01-12-2016, 10:35 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Martin!!
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Old 01-12-2016, 10:54 AM
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Dear Martin, those are some really good questions. I also want you to know there is no correct answer for anyone. I have had patients, who like me, told people straight out. I am an alcoholic. It keeps me accountable, people know I am not supposed to drink. Also, I have found a universal support from normal users. Other addicts/alcoholics who are still using tend to resent your ambition to be sober as they internally know its something they should do but are not ready. Another option that works well for lots of people is to say you don't drink for medical reasons. Which has the added benefit for being true. You can say you are on a medication that you shouldn't drink on or a medical condition. Personally, I prefer the straightforward truth as being duplicitous was part of my addictive behavior. But I understand that is not an option for all people. Also, you said you were doing this alone, you are not alone, you have us. Meetings are great lifesavers for some but are not for everyone. Let this site be your support program. I want to tell you that I tried to do it alone despite years of being an addiction therapist and helping hundreds of patients and I absolutely could not do without help. Of course maybe you are different but at least involve your loved ones and keep coming back here. In any light, I wish you the best and hope you find a way that works for you. Sending you Hope. John
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Old 01-12-2016, 12:26 PM
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Welcome & congrats on day 10
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Old 01-12-2016, 12:37 PM
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I told work and felt good about it, then later in my recovery I wished I had not. Your perspective changes. It is good enough to do just for yourself.
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Old 01-12-2016, 01:46 PM
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Originally Posted by JohnQPublic View Post

Another option that works well for lots of people is to say you don't drink for medical reasons. Which has the added benefit for being true. You can say you are on a medication that you shouldn't drink on or a medical condition. Personally, I prefer the straightforward truth as being duplicitous was part of my addictive behavior.

Also, you said you were doing this alone, you are not alone, you have us. Meetings are great lifesavers for some but are not for everyone. Let this site be your support program. Sending you Hope. John
Thanks John for the detailed post.

I've decided to just say... I am starting a healthy life style for 2016 and alcohol is not part of my new diet!

I have to go it alone for now....

Also as others have suggested. I am NOT going to mention anything to work or to business associates. I do not see any good coming out of sharing personal info with co-workers or boss etc.

One thing. It's almost 5pm. This is a hard time of day for me. Because normally I'd be going home and stopping at store for evening bottle. Sigh -
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Old 01-12-2016, 03:48 PM
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Happy to meet you, Martin! Wonderful job on your 10 days sober. You sound positive and ready to have a new life.
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Old 01-13-2016, 09:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
Happy to meet you, Martin! Wonderful job on your 10 days sober. You sound positive and ready to have a new life.
I never thought I'd be counting days. 11!
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Old 01-13-2016, 09:56 AM
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Keep up the great work
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Old 01-13-2016, 11:10 PM
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Martin1883, I need a lot of help to not drink and find it here. Post often.

Not sure how to turn down drinks-I avoid bar and such places. I know making a plan is Very important. Just a thought but if you can't avoid it then for the first few times I'd say "I've got stomach problems or I'm trying to lose weight". Ultimately it's no ones business you have alcohol problems. " I don't drink or I quit" should be enough for any adult. If someone keeps pushing it at you don't take it and watch them get drunk and silly. The ones that push alcohol on others usually have a problem themselves.

34 days sober and it does get easier if you don't have One drink.
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Old 01-13-2016, 11:32 PM
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Hi I think you have just spoken my story, I am on day 11 today, and I have told family and a few people at work that I have stopped drinking, they seem to think that I am possibly doing this for January (like a lot of normal drinkers) but hopefully they will realize the longer I can keep this going that I am serious about making this change in my life. The disappointing thing I found was every person that I told not one person said well done you, they all questioned it, like saying "Why? whats wrong with you?", I guess they are used to me always drinking, that is quite sad isn't it if you think about it, these are family and friends, not offering to help me when they knew how much I was drinking but questioning it when I decide to give it up, it's a mad world. My husband seems to think that I am going to start drinking again soon, he actually said to me last night when I announced that I was pleased with making 10 days without a drink and you know what he said, yep you guessed it, shall we have a drink this weekend to celebrate!!! I told him to have a drink if he wants to but I won't be drinking so get used to it, I wish people would take this seriously otherwise I will probably crack soon and start again, gotta be strong for yourself, I too am doing this alone so I know how you feel, good luck to you.
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Old 01-13-2016, 11:47 PM
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Welcome to SR Martin

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Old 01-14-2016, 05:12 PM
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Welcome Martin!
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Old 01-14-2016, 05:55 PM
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Welcome to SR!
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Old 01-14-2016, 06:51 PM
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I love that you poured your drink down the sink. There is something really powerful about knowing that you had the ability to do that and stay sober even though you had started down the road by making the drink. You'll be confident that you can dismiss thoughts easily, since you were able to dismiss a drink in front of you. (not that it's advisable to tempt yourself in that manner/put yourself that close to drinking to begin with, but you know what I am saying...
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