Relapse Spiral
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Perth, WA
Posts: 10
Relapse Spiral
I am really struggling. After 200 something days sober, i relapsed. I was silly enough to think i could just do it once and that would be it. That was over a month ago and my drug use has slowly escalated. I find myself back in the throws of addiction and i need to get out. I can not go down this path again. I will lose everything that i have worked so hard to get back. I am so ashamed that i have i relapsed. I don't know what to do.
You'll find lots of support here for getting sober for good. 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Perth, WA
Posts: 10
This thing has destroyed me so rapidly and thoroughly, it is dark, scary, irrational and so so powerful. I hate the substance.. and yet i want it all the time. I wish there was a switch. I am feeling powerless at the moment. I just need to know the first step to regaining control.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Welcome SugarLee! My struggle is with alcohol, and I am recently back after beginning drinking again. 200 days sober is excellent, I am on day 10 today and determined to make it stick. You will find lots of support on this site. Glad you are here!
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Good going. You're taking the first step. Did you have a plan on how you were going to stay sober? If you did, adjust it for what got you to relapse. If you didn't you need one.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Perth, WA
Posts: 10
I had a seamless plan.. or so i thought. I think i relapsed because i started deviating from the plan. Slowly i stopped going to groups, then stopped seeing my counselor, stopped answering the phone from the rehab i went to, stopped exercising, i stopped reading my NA daily, stopped writing my diary. In hindsight i can see how it happened. I need a plan.. and i cant stray from it no matter how i'm feeling.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Absolutely, best thing is to get right back on track. A lot of threads here read just like yours! I like to suggest to people that they use the relapse to gain understanding about what their triggers are, and then figure out a way to protect themselves against those same triggers if they try to rear their ugly heads again.
For me, free time was dangerous. I'll be planning my time and activities out with a lot more structure this time around!
For me, free time was dangerous. I'll be planning my time and activities out with a lot more structure this time around!
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Originally Posted by SugarLee1986 
I can use my relapse as a lesson. I'm so ashamed but i need to use this in my favor.
Try to think of yourself as a scientist, LOL. You have gathered more data about your illness and will use the data to improve your "vaccine."
Be careful that you never do what I've done, which is let shame drive you under a rock. You have to stay connected with a community. You know you won't encounter any relapse judgment here.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
SugarLee, I relapsed after a similar amount of time. And it was bad. I went out for another year and a half, struggling to quit the whole time.
But you're right, you'll learn from it. I'm at 6 months now and I feel different than I did last time around. This time my heart is all the way in it. No more doubts.
Hang in there. I understand feeling exhausted.
Do you have an immediate plan? Getting through the first few weeks was really hard for me. I tried so many times on my own but ended up doing inpatient rehab.
But you're right, you'll learn from it. I'm at 6 months now and I feel different than I did last time around. This time my heart is all the way in it. No more doubts.
Hang in there. I understand feeling exhausted.
Do you have an immediate plan? Getting through the first few weeks was really hard for me. I tried so many times on my own but ended up doing inpatient rehab.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
You aren't giving up on yourself, that's what's important.
Sounds like your plan was working for you until you stopped following it. If I was you I would put that plan back in play. Also take a close look at it to see if there is any way to improve on it.
Best of luck.
Sounds like your plan was working for you until you stopped following it. If I was you I would put that plan back in play. Also take a close look at it to see if there is any way to improve on it.
Best of luck.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Staffordshire, UK
Posts: 712
Originally Posted by SugarLee1986
I am really struggling. After 200 something days sober, i relapsed. I was silly enough to think i could just do it once and that would be it. That was over a month ago and my drug use has slowly escalated. I find myself back in the throws of addiction and i need to get out. I can not go down this path again. I will lose everything that i have worked so hard to get back. I am so ashamed that i have i relapsed. I don't know what to do.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Perth, WA
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by soberwolf
What's your new plan SL
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