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-   -   Alchy spotting (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/382701-alchy-spotting.html)

zlhzlh 01-10-2016 10:45 AM

Alchy spotting
 
I am turning into one of those holier than though people! My new sport of choice is Alcoholic spotting. Even if people aren't drinking I am analysing complexions, eyes, body language, stories.......It's actually quite fun. ! I hope I am not the only one that does this? PS. 50 days tomorrow secretly really chuffed with myself.

Dropsie 01-10-2016 11:03 AM

I think we all do it to some extent, I try not too because it implies judgment, but I understand where you are coming from.

Not to sound preachy, but for myself, I try to make judgment as little a part of my life as I can, lest I be judged, and there is a lot of basis for that.

Great news on 50 days, you should be chuffed with yourself.

zlhzlh 01-10-2016 11:08 AM

Makes me sound like a terrible person. I think before I hadn't noticed. It's more like when you buy a new car, everybody has suddenly got one. Not judging, just noticing.

Soberwolf 01-10-2016 11:11 AM

Congrats on your 50 days for tomorrow

Dropsie 01-10-2016 11:22 AM

I am sorry -- these types of forums can make things seem harsher than they were meant. I think you are doing great and just being honest. As I said, I think we all do it some. I apologise.

Thumpalumpacus 01-10-2016 11:24 AM

Congrats on 50 days, that's great.

For me, the only alcoholic I'm concerned with spotting right now is the one looking back from the mirror. God knows it took long enough to see him -- it doesn't seem to me that I should divert my gaze for long right now.

Never turn your back on a crocodile, right?

Hawkeye13 01-10-2016 11:32 AM

lizard-brain has dead-cold eyes,
and you're right, don't turn away for a minute Thumpal

Welcome back, by the way

Thumpalumpacus 01-10-2016 11:34 AM

Thanks, Hawkeye. I'm here to stay, this time. :)

Delilah1 01-10-2016 11:37 AM

Congrats on 50 days tomorrow, that is a huge accomplishment!!

zlhzlh 01-10-2016 11:37 AM

Yep that's my problem I have always wore my heart in my sleeve and probably been too open to people I don't even know. No offence meant to anyone.

DuhDave 01-10-2016 12:31 PM

No need to apologize zlhzlh. I catch myself doing it all the time. I can go into a shop and spot a fellow alky in a heartbeat.

Judgemental???...I dont think so. I would call it more like...relating to them. Been there, done that ! ...and have the battle scars to prove it. I really do wish I could warn the guy/gal of impending misery they are setting themselves up for...but I say nothing and keep my thoughts to myself. My guess is they are well aware already.

When I return to checkout and they are toting a 24 pack and ordering 4 packs of cigarettes my heart really goes out to them...especially when the clerk say's..."See ya tomorrow".

DD

SillyHuman 01-10-2016 01:06 PM

I cannot not see them. I recognize the skin tone and bleary eyes. One guy like thay at work is just the nicest guy. It is a little heartbreaking.

tomsteve 01-10-2016 01:07 PM

when i was drinking i judged everyone except myself.

recovery has me working hard to keep the judgement with the reflection in the mirror.


you should be pleased with yourself for 50 days, but yer no better than the people your judging.

pride cometh before the fall.

RushTogether 01-10-2016 01:09 PM

Congrats on 50 days, that's wonderful.

That' being said, figuring out who you think might be an alcoholic, based off of nothing you actually know, shouldn't be fun, at all.

Unless you're going to help, focus on yourself.

SoberinSyracuse 01-10-2016 03:52 PM

As long as you're doing great, that's the important thing! And it sounds like you are!

I may be in the minority with my opinion but here it is: Don't worry about what's going on inside your head unless it causes harm to you or someone else. Your thoughts are your own, and you have every right to think them. I'm not surprised you find yourself thinking about signs/symptoms of alcoholism. I'm sure it's common to be a little preoccupied for a while, while you go through a huge change in your life. I don't see much difference between this and booze dreams. I have crazy, Biblically symbolic, technicolor booze dreams in which alcohol talks to me and prophesies my future. It's just my subconscious mind running a little commentary. So, why wouldn't your conscious mind also want to chatter about it? Seems kinda normal to me. :-)

Dee74 01-10-2016 04:12 PM

I think everyone becomes a little hyper aware of those 'like us' in the early days - I know I did :)
I don't think it makes you a horrible person.

If you're several years into recovery and still doing it, it might indicate a problem of sorts but very normal for the early days IMO :)
D

IronPhoenix 01-10-2016 04:17 PM

Yeah, it is sort of like when you buy anew car. Then you start seeing that type of car everywhere. I notice I do it as well sometimes. Not to judge, but more of questioning is that what I was like.

oldsoul1122 01-10-2016 06:06 PM

I see elderly women at the checkout at the drugstores where there aren't a lot of people paying for a huge bottle of alcohol and it makes me sad. I think, wow that used to be me!

FormerWineGirl 01-10-2016 06:20 PM

z, it's human nature. Everyone is guilty of forming opinions in the privacy of our minds based on observations sometimes. It becomes a problem if we let ourselves think that we are somehow superior, which is not what you are doing.

FLCamper 01-10-2016 06:26 PM

I don't interpret your statement as being judgmental - just sharing a thought. Which is the point of these boards.
The new car comparison is pretty accurate.


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