How did you know?
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Originally Posted by SoberinSyracuse 
I don't say "I am an alcoholic" because one of my spiritual beliefs is that the phrase "I am" actually creates my reality. When I had cancer, I said "I have cancer," not "I am cancerous." .
Thank you so much for your comment.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
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I've know I was an alcoholic for a long time, I just didn't like admitting it. For me it was leaving DWI court and thinking I shouldn't drink. Got a 12 pack. The next morning I woke up in a panic and went to AA.
If a normal or heavy drinker is worried about alcohol they just quit. It's not a big deal for them. I would always quit for a few days or week then congratulate by having a few beers then my old pattern returned. I've know two very heavy drinkers that just quit cold turkey. But that's not me.
You want a magic test? Quit drinking for a month. It's should be easy for a normal drinker. Quit drinking to get drunk-meaning never have more than two.
If a normal or heavy drinker is worried about alcohol they just quit. It's not a big deal for them. I would always quit for a few days or week then congratulate by having a few beers then my old pattern returned. I've know two very heavy drinkers that just quit cold turkey. But that's not me.
You want a magic test? Quit drinking for a month. It's should be easy for a normal drinker. Quit drinking to get drunk-meaning never have more than two.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 579
I found admitting to being an alcoholic very liberating. There it was, I couldn't kid myself any more. I know exactly how to deal with it. I don't wear it on my shirt or tell anyone that's not an alcoholic.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 387
1. I had to have a drink nightly.
2. Once I started I could never stop.
3. I would do/say things that later made me feel guilty/embarrassed/ashamed.
4. I would wake up every morning and swear off alcohol, but of course it wouldn't last the day.
As for labels, if you don't describe your problem, you cannot solve it and in my opinion are hiding from it. You don't have to say alcoholic, you can say "I have a major problem with drinking alcohol." But if you say nothing at all, well, you're probably still in denial.
Good luck,
KP
2. Once I started I could never stop.
3. I would do/say things that later made me feel guilty/embarrassed/ashamed.
4. I would wake up every morning and swear off alcohol, but of course it wouldn't last the day.
As for labels, if you don't describe your problem, you cannot solve it and in my opinion are hiding from it. You don't have to say alcoholic, you can say "I have a major problem with drinking alcohol." But if you say nothing at all, well, you're probably still in denial.
Good luck,
KP
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
I'll do my best to answer these as succinctly as I can. I'm thinking of what I would say if Barbara Walters asked me.......
How did you know you were in fact an alcoholic?
I knew I was an alcoholic when I wanted to drink every night of the week and the quantity kept increasing to larger and larger amounts until I was hungover every day but was somehow okay with all of this as long as I could look forward to drinking the next night.
I knew when blackouts became common and I would behave in dangerous and destructive ways and still want to drink the next night. And drink the next night.
When did you come to terms with it and accept it?
It took a freight train hitting me to accept it. I was always, always going to stop tomorrow. I accepted abstinence when the daily sickness of hangovers became absolutely unbearable. I was shaky, sweaty, and nauseous every day. The true freight train was a serious health diagnosis caused by alcoholism.
I am an alcoholic but have never used that term in my daily life. I am a non-drinker. My friends and family know me as a non-drinker who used to have a serious problem with alcohol.
But because I am a non-drinker now, alcohol is really not in my daily conversations with anyone, including my husband, family, friends. Actually almost never.
I receive my support here.
How did you know you were in fact an alcoholic?
I knew I was an alcoholic when I wanted to drink every night of the week and the quantity kept increasing to larger and larger amounts until I was hungover every day but was somehow okay with all of this as long as I could look forward to drinking the next night.
I knew when blackouts became common and I would behave in dangerous and destructive ways and still want to drink the next night. And drink the next night.
When did you come to terms with it and accept it?
It took a freight train hitting me to accept it. I was always, always going to stop tomorrow. I accepted abstinence when the daily sickness of hangovers became absolutely unbearable. I was shaky, sweaty, and nauseous every day. The true freight train was a serious health diagnosis caused by alcoholism.
I am an alcoholic but have never used that term in my daily life. I am a non-drinker. My friends and family know me as a non-drinker who used to have a serious problem with alcohol.
But because I am a non-drinker now, alcohol is really not in my daily conversations with anyone, including my husband, family, friends. Actually almost never.
I receive my support here.
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 2,671
How did you know you were in fact an alcoholic?
When did you come to terms with it and accept it?
Would I drink 2 bottles of wine a day if I had a job to go to in the morning? Probably not.
Just wanted to add that although I do understand your reasoning... I have been drinking 2 bottles of wine a night then going to work. It hasn't stopped me drinking even though i work full time.
When did you come to terms with it and accept it?
Would I drink 2 bottles of wine a day if I had a job to go to in the morning? Probably not.
Just wanted to add that although I do understand your reasoning... I have been drinking 2 bottles of wine a night then going to work. It hasn't stopped me drinking even though i work full time.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by chrcarlson
You want a magic test? Quit drinking for a month. It's should be easy for a normal drinker. Quit drinking to get drunk-meaning never have more than two.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers
I'll do my best to answer these as succinctly as I can. I'm thinking of what I would say if Barbara Walters asked me.......
How did you know you were in fact an alcoholic?
I knew I was an alcoholic when I wanted to drink every night of the week and the quantity kept increasing to larger and larger amounts until I was hungover every day but was somehow okay with all of this as long as I could look forward to drinking the next night.
I knew when blackouts became common and I would behave in dangerous and destructive ways and still want to drink the next night. And drink the next night.
When did you come to terms with it and accept it?
It took a freight train hitting me to accept it. I was always, always going to stop tomorrow. I accepted abstinence when the daily sickness of hangovers became absolutely unbearable. I was shaky, sweaty, and nauseous every day. The true freight train was a serious health diagnosis caused by alcoholism.
I am an alcoholic but have never used that term in my daily life. I am a non-drinker. My friends and family know me as a non-drinker who used to have a serious problem with alcohol.
But because I am a non-drinker now, alcohol is really not in my daily conversations with anyone, including my husband, family, friends. Actually almost never.
I receive my support here.
How did you know you were in fact an alcoholic?
I knew I was an alcoholic when I wanted to drink every night of the week and the quantity kept increasing to larger and larger amounts until I was hungover every day but was somehow okay with all of this as long as I could look forward to drinking the next night.
I knew when blackouts became common and I would behave in dangerous and destructive ways and still want to drink the next night. And drink the next night.
When did you come to terms with it and accept it?
It took a freight train hitting me to accept it. I was always, always going to stop tomorrow. I accepted abstinence when the daily sickness of hangovers became absolutely unbearable. I was shaky, sweaty, and nauseous every day. The true freight train was a serious health diagnosis caused by alcoholism.
I am an alcoholic but have never used that term in my daily life. I am a non-drinker. My friends and family know me as a non-drinker who used to have a serious problem with alcohol.
But because I am a non-drinker now, alcohol is really not in my daily conversations with anyone, including my husband, family, friends. Actually almost never.
I receive my support here.
Thanks so much for your answers. I can relate to a lot of it - the constant hangovers but the continuous drinking. I have no problem calling myself a "non drinker". I guess I just don't like the word "alcoholic"
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Originally Posted by Nic233
How did you know you were in fact an alcoholic?
When did you come to terms with it and accept it?
Would I drink 2 bottles of wine a day if I had a job to go to in the morning? Probably not.
Just wanted to add that although I do understand your reasoning... I have been drinking 2 bottles of wine a night then going to work. It hasn't stopped me drinking even though i work full time.
When did you come to terms with it and accept it?
Would I drink 2 bottles of wine a day if I had a job to go to in the morning? Probably not.
Just wanted to add that although I do understand your reasoning... I have been drinking 2 bottles of wine a night then going to work. It hasn't stopped me drinking even though i work full time.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,226
I understand that labels can be difficult. For me, I have no problem saying, "I am an alcoholic." It was liberating, as you can't unring that bell once you have proclaimed it.
BUT, I also understand that making that proclamation works differently for others. I was a narrative therapist for a short bit, meaning we write our own stories, and you define what kind of protagonist you want to be. Do you want a different story, and if so, what kind of hero do you want to be?
I had difficulty when working in mental health, when colleagues would say, "My borderline is coming in at noon, and I am seeing the bipolar after that." Defining people by their diagnosis was troublesome. Separating people from their issue/illness made more sense to me.
So along that line of thinking, perhaps saying, "I am an individual with a drinking problem that I want to address" might be more palatable.
SAHM life can be hard for drinkers. Different kinds of accountability and pressures. Keep working on defining what your feelings mean to you.
BUT, I also understand that making that proclamation works differently for others. I was a narrative therapist for a short bit, meaning we write our own stories, and you define what kind of protagonist you want to be. Do you want a different story, and if so, what kind of hero do you want to be?
I had difficulty when working in mental health, when colleagues would say, "My borderline is coming in at noon, and I am seeing the bipolar after that." Defining people by their diagnosis was troublesome. Separating people from their issue/illness made more sense to me.
So along that line of thinking, perhaps saying, "I am an individual with a drinking problem that I want to address" might be more palatable.
SAHM life can be hard for drinkers. Different kinds of accountability and pressures. Keep working on defining what your feelings mean to you.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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Originally Posted by Change4good
SAHM life can be hard for drinkers. Different kinds of accountability and pressures. Keep working on defining what your feelings mean to you.
A lot of my success is going to involve finding ways to stay active both at home and even better, outside of the house. Luckily I have a bunch of appointments this week and errands to run. It's going to be a good week, I can feel it
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I introduce as alcoholic at aa meetings.... but I still don't know whether I 'am'.
Unlike cancer, we can't biopsy our addiction.... there's no definitive test.
But I came to a point where I understood and accepted that it didn't matter. Alcohol is not consistent with what I want my life to be. Alcohol was firmly rooted in all my troubles. Alcohol's promises to me were all lies. I didnt need it. I dont want it.
Sometimes I embrace the notion I am alcoholic. Other times I reject and dislike it....
But the more important thing is this: i recognize that SOBRIETY holds far more for me than alcohol.
Unlike cancer, we can't biopsy our addiction.... there's no definitive test.
But I came to a point where I understood and accepted that it didn't matter. Alcohol is not consistent with what I want my life to be. Alcohol was firmly rooted in all my troubles. Alcohol's promises to me were all lies. I didnt need it. I dont want it.
Sometimes I embrace the notion I am alcoholic. Other times I reject and dislike it....
But the more important thing is this: i recognize that SOBRIETY holds far more for me than alcohol.
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i remember a time a few years before i stopped drinking, sitting in my recliner getting drunk, saying to myself'"i know im an alcoholic, but why cant i stop drinking???"
i drank for a few years after that and it wasnt admitting i was an alcoholic that got me to stop.
it was admitting alcohol was the common denomimator in all my problems.
i can call myself an alcoholic in recovery today with no shame in doing so. an alcoholic is what i am,not who i am.
i drank for a few years after that and it wasnt admitting i was an alcoholic that got me to stop.
it was admitting alcohol was the common denomimator in all my problems.
i can call myself an alcoholic in recovery today with no shame in doing so. an alcoholic is what i am,not who i am.
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You know, by calling myself an alcoholic and admitting that I was one after years of thinking I could be but brushed the idea off lol and also having taken huge offence if someone else called me one - lets face it no one likes to be called one by someone else do they? But when I labelled myself as an alcoholic was actually a HUGE relief. The term gave me acceptance and surrender to a battle Id fought for a good 15 years.
I guess Id always known deep down, but AA made me realise I WAS and still am an alcoholic. There is no shame in being one, although its not necessary to shout it from the rooftops, people who don't understand alcoholism are judgemental - no one needs that either.
Whether you define yourself as one is a personal choice, recognising there is a problem and taking action tbh is way more important. I AM an alcoholic. I didn't drink first thing of a morning either but I drank enough for it to cause huge problems, so in my mind I am an alcoholic.
I guess Id always known deep down, but AA made me realise I WAS and still am an alcoholic. There is no shame in being one, although its not necessary to shout it from the rooftops, people who don't understand alcoholism are judgemental - no one needs that either.
Whether you define yourself as one is a personal choice, recognising there is a problem and taking action tbh is way more important. I AM an alcoholic. I didn't drink first thing of a morning either but I drank enough for it to cause huge problems, so in my mind I am an alcoholic.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
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I've found that once you start wondering in any capacity if you are or are not an alcoholic, the enjoyment in drinking is long gone.
I once heard a guy who went to ONE AA meeting, left, and decided to leave the meeting and pretend he had not gone and just continue drinking like normal. He was shocked, angry, and confused as to why he couldn't enjoy drinking after that. That's not to say he didn't find the numbness he was seeking but it was no longer FUN.
He could no longer drink without any cares or worries.
I drank about four years after knowing in my gut that I had a serious addiction to alcohol. I was still seeking the numbing effect but there was very little "enjoyment."
Am I an alcoholic?
(And let's face it, the question answers itself)
I once heard a guy who went to ONE AA meeting, left, and decided to leave the meeting and pretend he had not gone and just continue drinking like normal. He was shocked, angry, and confused as to why he couldn't enjoy drinking after that. That's not to say he didn't find the numbness he was seeking but it was no longer FUN.
He could no longer drink without any cares or worries.
I drank about four years after knowing in my gut that I had a serious addiction to alcohol. I was still seeking the numbing effect but there was very little "enjoyment."
Am I an alcoholic?
(And let's face it, the question answers itself)
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Originally Posted by tomsteve
i remember a time a few years before i stopped drinking, sitting in my recliner getting drunk, saying to myself'"i know im an alcoholic, but why cant i stop drinking???"
i drank for a few years after that and it wasnt admitting i was an alcoholic that got me to stop.
it was admitting alcohol was the common denomimator in all my problems.
i can call myself an alcoholic in recovery today with no shame in doing so. an alcoholic is what i am,not who i am.
i drank for a few years after that and it wasnt admitting i was an alcoholic that got me to stop.
it was admitting alcohol was the common denomimator in all my problems.
i can call myself an alcoholic in recovery today with no shame in doing so. an alcoholic is what i am,not who i am.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 164
I knew I had a problem when I simply wanted to stop drinking (for health reasons).... and I couldn't.
I have analyzed it, am I an alcoholic, aren't I. I'm not that bad of a drinker compared to others blah blah...
Why can't I quit then.., I am working on it though...11 days sober...
I have analyzed it, am I an alcoholic, aren't I. I'm not that bad of a drinker compared to others blah blah...
Why can't I quit then.., I am working on it though...11 days sober...
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