I want to get sober and I need some advice
 

I'm 31 years old, and I'm an alcoholic. I drink about a 1/4 gallon of vodka every day. I don't even recognize myself in the mirror anymore.

I have to always look straight ahead because if I look up or down (even in the mornings before I start drinking) everything starts swimming around in front of my eyes. The only thing that helps stop that feeling is more alcohol.

I tried to quit it cold turkey and after two days of cold shivers and my muscles twitching like crazy I couldn't take it anymore. One drink later I felt back to normal - or whatever my normal has become.

I've just moved to a new city, and the only people I've met here so far were pub regulars. I lie to my friends from my home town about how I'm doing, because it's embarrassing.

I don't know what to do. I don't know where to start. I work in a job where I can't be seen at an AA meeting, because it could seriously mess up my client's cases if my sobriety was questioned.

Welcome Lola, you will find lots of support here, it's a great place :)

welcome Lola - like Sean says this is a great place :)

Have you considered seeing a Dr to check you out - detox can be rough for some of us?

D

Welcome to the family. :) We know how hard this is and we are here to support you. :hug:

Hi, Lola. I was a heavy vodka drinker too so I recognize the symptoms you're describing.

As heavy as you were into it, I think you should talk to a doctor and see if they recommend a medical detox. It really does make the process easier, safer, and more comfortable.

Also....the potential for seizures is very real. (I had one trying to quit vodka.) And they're no laughing matter. I still have a scar from where I fell on my face. And think what could happen if you were driving.

Be safe about how you approach this, and keep posting.

Another vote for seeing a Dr.

In the past, I've gone to an immediate care facility, told them I was trying to stop drinking but feeling a little shaky. After they took my vitals, especially blood pressure, I got a script for some valium which really helped me.

Unfortunately, being an alcoholic I had to do the more than once over the years.

Welcome Lola, you are not alone. We do understand how hard this is.

Welcome to SR Lola. You are at the right place for great support, advice and information.

Hello, Lola! It sounds like a lot of changes in your life. If you are new in town, though, it might be the perfect chance to start fresh and focus on making friends who are not going to the pubs every night.
I did not go to AA for several reasons. It is the trick for a lot of people but it is not the only path to sobriety. Keep posting and let us know how you are getting along.

Hi Lola, welcome to SR, pleased you found us.:c011:

hi Lola,
i'm in Vancouver, too, so know there are tons of meetings, Aa, LifeRing, Smart...but you say you can't be seen at meetings.
if you're drinking a litre a day, you can be pretty sure that people at work will not be unaware for long.
this sounds serious medically as far as quitting on your own. get help, please.

you can start at a walk-in clinic; many of those all over town.

Ravensong Community Health Clinic at 2450 Ontario has been very helpful to people i know dealing with alcoholism and wanting to get recovered and maybe not being in the BC medical system yet.

best to you.

Just because of this part, especially about before drinking, I would highly recommended that you see a doctor. You may have a underlying medical condition that the alcohol helps alleviate.

Also, is it possible for you to take a medical leave from work and go to an inpatient rehab? They could monitor you and help with the detox.

Best wishes.

Lola, I cannot do anything but reiterate what others have said. It sounds like medical help is appropriate, and it will likely keep you more comfortable.

Very glad you are here. :grouphug:

Hi LL, you will find a lot of support here. I understand your hesitation in reaching out for help as you may lose clients. In some cases, if you don't reach out for help, you may not have clients. Just a thought. When it gets serious, you come first. And it sounds like its serious. Take care of yourself.

Welcome Lola, you will find lots of support on SR. I agree with the advice above about seeing a doctor.

Dear L, I think, as others have said, a visit to a MD might be in order. And I understand the constraints of a job but how much longer do you think you can manage it before the drinking becomes public or you die. You know lots of HR divisions in companies have great policies for people who confidently divulge an addiction and want to make a change. Also, even I admit meetings are not for everyone, I know a friend who travels two towns over to hit a meeting to lessen the chance that it could endanger his career. First and foremost though, you have to put yourself first. This disease is only progressive, it only gets worse. pulling for you. John

I didn't expect to hear so many replies. Thank you all who sent messages to lift me up. I really need it right now.

Good morning, Lola. I understand how difficult it can be to go to meetings when one's career may be jeopardized. I still haven't gone to one in my town but have traveled to do so. The longer I am in recovery, though, the more I am proud of myself and the steps I've taken. I'm also ready to take my rightful place in a meeting in my own town! Not quite ready, but almost;)

Hi LittleLola

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

I would see your medical doctor first - thia is what I did. For me, I followed up with medication and therapy. Tried meetings at AA dor a while but didnt like them. I used online support. Using Smart Recovery now - they have both in person and online support.