No one will help me!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Dover Tennessee
Posts: 3
No one will help me!
I'm new here so I guess I better start at the beginning. I am an alcoholic. I have been dry for 15 years. Then I got cancer of the lymph nodes under my chin and lost my tongue and most of my throat ending any hope of working on the outside world again. I've been getting all sorts of addictive drugs from the doctors for the last couple of years. Morphine and Codeine based. Then they just stopped my drugs and I turned to alcohol again.
Now I'm looking for a place in Tennessee to get help. Cancer has taken everything I had and I am on medicare and medicaid. And I have more "issues" than rehab hospitals want to deal with. A television person that cannot talk. A baker wannabe that cannot eat by mouth ever again. Specal tube feedings of a liquid diet. You get my drift.
Now I'm looking for a place in Tennessee to get help. Cancer has taken everything I had and I am on medicare and medicaid. And I have more "issues" than rehab hospitals want to deal with. A television person that cannot talk. A baker wannabe that cannot eat by mouth ever again. Specal tube feedings of a liquid diet. You get my drift.
Monica
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Coraopolis, PA
Posts: 36
First off Welcome, I've only been on the site for 6 days now and I LOVE IT!!!
Everyone here is wonderful, lots of good advice.
Your making a huge decision in asking for help. Please remember 1 day at a time.
Your in my thoughts and prayers, feel free to e-mail me to chat.
Monica
Everyone here is wonderful, lots of good advice.
Your making a huge decision in asking for help. Please remember 1 day at a time.
Your in my thoughts and prayers, feel free to e-mail me to chat.
Monica
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: toronto, ontario, canada
Posts: 224
Welcome Skunkman. You will get alot of support here. You certainly have had alot to go through and I commend you for your spirit. Cancer is so devastating. My prayers are with you and I hope you can find a contented sobriety for you certainly deserve it. Keep posting with us to get the support you need.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,501
Hi Skunkman,
I'm sorry that you have so much to deal with in your life. Welcome to SR. I hope you can find some support and peace while visiting this site. I pray that you find a rehab situation.
Love, Anna
I'm sorry that you have so much to deal with in your life. Welcome to SR. I hope you can find some support and peace while visiting this site. I pray that you find a rehab situation.
Love, Anna
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Skunkman-
I too am sorry that you have so much on your plate..... It must be so overwhelming. I hope you will keep trying. I think if you go to a public hospital they can't refuse to help you. Maybe just go to the emergency room and ask them to help you. (((((BIG HUG)))) for you and prayers going out for you too.....
I too am sorry that you have so much on your plate..... It must be so overwhelming. I hope you will keep trying. I think if you go to a public hospital they can't refuse to help you. Maybe just go to the emergency room and ask them to help you. (((((BIG HUG)))) for you and prayers going out for you too.....
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Hello Skunkman--Welcome to SR!!! I am sending many prayers your way. Have you thought about going to a church to ask for help? I know there must be people out there who would help you. Going to the emergency room is a good suggestion as well. Please keep us posted and let us know how you are doing!!!
Hugs--
Hugs--
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Dover Tennessee
Posts: 3
thank you all.
But I have worked and trained in a profession that life is pretty black and white, succeed or fail. I believe in prayer and God. I believe in Karma. Eight of my twevle surgeries were not productive. I went in with the mind set that I would lose everything. I came back out whole. Only to be taken in in another 3 months for the same. Over and over. More expermental chemo (that was fun...) more radiation till my heart finally stopped in the doctors office. If it wasn't for my girlfriend (now Wife) screaming at me to come back I would have continued to go down that all brilliant white hallway. (Long story)
Sorry, but I'm not looking for moral support but a solution to my problem. It's time to get down and dirty. No maybes. No what ifs. Just results. It's time to take control of my life. Support I will gladly take and need later but right now I need help getting in a good place that can help. From talking to my doctors (five) that I have now it is a miracle that I am alive and I thank God for that. But now I can't get on or have a life if I am a slave to drugs. Been there, done that. I would rather have chemo and radiation treatments again.
Love and strength to you all
Skunkman
Sorry, but I'm not looking for moral support but a solution to my problem. It's time to get down and dirty. No maybes. No what ifs. Just results. It's time to take control of my life. Support I will gladly take and need later but right now I need help getting in a good place that can help. From talking to my doctors (five) that I have now it is a miracle that I am alive and I thank God for that. But now I can't get on or have a life if I am a slave to drugs. Been there, done that. I would rather have chemo and radiation treatments again.
Love and strength to you all
Skunkman
Last edited by skunkman; 09-13-2004 at 07:17 PM.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Hi, skunkman,
I'm not sure I understand what you're looking for. A referral to a place you can go for rehab? Or some information about different approaches to recovery?
You say 'it's time to take control of my life.' People do stop addictive behavior on their own, or by using programs which give you the tools for self-recovery from substance abuse. Others join groups, and make use of the strong support they can get from their peers. Which appeals to you more? Folks here can give you info about either approach to recovery.
I do hope you'll consider doing some freelance writing. You have a clear, direct style which is very compelling. Thanks for posting,
Don S
I'm not sure I understand what you're looking for. A referral to a place you can go for rehab? Or some information about different approaches to recovery?
You say 'it's time to take control of my life.' People do stop addictive behavior on their own, or by using programs which give you the tools for self-recovery from substance abuse. Others join groups, and make use of the strong support they can get from their peers. Which appeals to you more? Folks here can give you info about either approach to recovery.
I do hope you'll consider doing some freelance writing. You have a clear, direct style which is very compelling. Thanks for posting,
Don S
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
There are many options in deciding what the solution to your problem is, check out our recovery links forum for the info on AA and alternatives to 12 step programs. Only you can decide which route you want to take. Options allow you to make choices, decide for yourself what is in your best interest.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Dover Tennessee
Posts: 3
It comes down to this.
To paraphrase: SUN TZU. He broke it down to three steps not twelve about two thousand years ago. You users will relate to this.
On Good Ground: Maneuver
On Difficult Ground: Devise strategies
On Death Ground: Fight
The 12 steps are good and it worked for me for 15 years ago but now I’m on “Death Ground”. I am fighting HARD, for my family and myself. Failure cannot be an option, because I am on “death ground”. I know it, I feel it in my bones. After being clean and sober for 15 years I still remember the days of being a drunk more than cancer treatment.
For you that are on the fence about getting clean, I have broken teeth with the pain during cancer treatment. But I would do that again, over and over than going back to being a slave to drugs. I’m a 50-year-old white male and I‘ve been a slave. I’m not a slave now ‘yet’ but will be soon, if I don’t take care of business. I am my own man and I am loved and I will destroy anything drug that gets in my way to keeping me from loosing that. Does that make sense to anybody?
Love and kisses
Skunkman
On Good Ground: Maneuver
On Difficult Ground: Devise strategies
On Death Ground: Fight
The 12 steps are good and it worked for me for 15 years ago but now I’m on “Death Ground”. I am fighting HARD, for my family and myself. Failure cannot be an option, because I am on “death ground”. I know it, I feel it in my bones. After being clean and sober for 15 years I still remember the days of being a drunk more than cancer treatment.
For you that are on the fence about getting clean, I have broken teeth with the pain during cancer treatment. But I would do that again, over and over than going back to being a slave to drugs. I’m a 50-year-old white male and I‘ve been a slave. I’m not a slave now ‘yet’ but will be soon, if I don’t take care of business. I am my own man and I am loved and I will destroy anything drug that gets in my way to keeping me from loosing that. Does that make sense to anybody?
Love and kisses
Skunkman
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: out there...
Posts: 2,653
Welcome Skumkman .. Don't give up on the rehab situation .. There must be some state or federal agency that could advocate for you. Have you tried explaining your case to the local assemblyman?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Kansas City,Mo
Posts: 478
Skunkman,
First let me say welcome!
Second...everything you have said makes perfect sense.
You have surely been through a hell I wouldnt want to.We all feel like our lives are really bad until we hear someones story like yours.
Let me say this...you must be the bravest person to go through what you have and still be here to tell us.And I have total respect for that!
I know this doesnt help,but Im sending prayers to you that you find what you are looking for.
Hang in there! Glad you are here!
First let me say welcome!
Second...everything you have said makes perfect sense.
You have surely been through a hell I wouldnt want to.We all feel like our lives are really bad until we hear someones story like yours.
Let me say this...you must be the bravest person to go through what you have and still be here to tell us.And I have total respect for that!
I know this doesnt help,but Im sending prayers to you that you find what you are looking for.
Hang in there! Glad you are here!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: London, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 13
you are not alone...and neither am I
You are not alone...and neither am I now. I totally forgot that over the last year. All I have to do is ask for help (fellow addicts, alcoholics, family,highpower..etc) and they will always be there for me and I will not have to tackle today alone..WWWOOOOOOWWWWW. did I say that out loud.....I have known that for years and yet I just remembered it tonight....
T H A N K S.
T H A N K S.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 423
Hey Skunkman - welcome! Your a fighter, just like me!
I have been sober for over 11 months now and the biggest obstacle for me was admitting that I was powerless when dealing with alcohol. I could not in any way stay sober on my own - it felt kind of what quicksand must be like; the more you fight - the deeper you get stuck.
I had to do something different and outpatient treatment was part of the answer (after I had hit bottom) for me.
I went through six weeks of outpatient treatment, luckily paid for by my health insurance and now regularly attend AA meeting to keep me grounded.
I lost the fight with alcohol, but now I feel like I have turned the tide and am winning the battle. Every day I feel better and better, but I temper those feelings with the knowledge that alcoholism cannot be cured, only controlled (But you already know that).
"Death ground" for me was when I almost lost my family to alcohol, but as I said, admitting and accepting my weakness over alcohol was the key for me.
Sorry I am rambling, but hopefully something I conveyed is of some value!
Take care,
Dave
I have been sober for over 11 months now and the biggest obstacle for me was admitting that I was powerless when dealing with alcohol. I could not in any way stay sober on my own - it felt kind of what quicksand must be like; the more you fight - the deeper you get stuck.
I had to do something different and outpatient treatment was part of the answer (after I had hit bottom) for me.
I went through six weeks of outpatient treatment, luckily paid for by my health insurance and now regularly attend AA meeting to keep me grounded.
I lost the fight with alcohol, but now I feel like I have turned the tide and am winning the battle. Every day I feel better and better, but I temper those feelings with the knowledge that alcoholism cannot be cured, only controlled (But you already know that).
"Death ground" for me was when I almost lost my family to alcohol, but as I said, admitting and accepting my weakness over alcohol was the key for me.
Sorry I am rambling, but hopefully something I conveyed is of some value!
Take care,
Dave
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