adelina123

I've been here before .... Some of you reading this may remember my name and previous posts ..... hi there .... I'm the one with a thousand day ones!!

I'm fed up basically ... fed up with not being in control anymore ... why can't I stop?? I know I need a plan but the plan gets screwed up and thrown away as soon as I start craving wine I just give I'm weak and pretty pathetic.

I'm sat at home right now in pj's. I called in sick at work I am genuinely poorly not just hung over from the 2 bottles of wine I drank last night. If I hadn't of drank though I know I wouldn't be feeling so bad!!

So this morning after dropping my son at school I had a dilemma. I knew the left over wine had to go it can't be in the house otherwise it will keep calling me and ill give in. So do I throw it or drink it .... at 9 in the morning?? If I drink it it will mean I haven't wasted money and it can be my final farewell drink can't it??

I poured it away , joined smart recovery and here I am posting this. This has got to stop!!!!!!!!

teatreeoil007

Good job on pouring and posting.... What is your recovery plan??

Dee74

I'm glad you poured it away, and glad you're looking into SMART adelina

D

ChickChick

I'm glad you poured it also. Sorry you are having a rough time. Joining the class of January could be helpful. If I were you I would take a good nap ans drink lots of water today. Be gentle with yourself.

soberclover

I had to adopt the mantra that "I will not drink.....no matter what". If you've had a plan before and it doesn't help.....you need a tougher plan. For many people this might include some form of actual treatment whether it is meeting with a counselor on a regular basis or checking oneself in to a rehabilitation facility for a few weeks. I also got a new doctor and got super honest with my alcoholism and it really helped being completely honest. I also engaged in weekly counseling. I also started going to AA meetings. I check in on SR every single day....and I post and engage not just read. The weekender thread is super supportive and it gives you a picture of what people do every day during the weekend to keep themselves busy and sober.

least

I hope this time you can stay sober for good.

Soberwolf

Good job pouring it away please know you can do this good on you signing up with smart rootin for you Adelina

SoberLeigh

I, too, had a thousand Day 1s; I thought that I was a hopeless case - but I was wrong. I have almost 1,500 sober days now and I absolutely love sobriety.

Great job on pouring out the wine and looking into SMART.

You can do this, adelina!!!!!

Welcome back.

doggonecarl

Wanting to stop, and I mean really wanting to stop, for good, can go a long way in helping you succeed in sobriety. But that has to be paired with actions that ensure you get and stay sober.

Good luck.

adelina123

Thanks everyone. I will join the January class and keep posting and following .... This just has to stop!!

Mountainmanbob

I hope that works for you and possibly this will be the beginning of your sober life.

I remember back to times in which I poured and dumped many, many things down the toilet, only to buy more later and continue running with the liquid devil.

One thing that I did not have back then -- a sober tool belt.
The tools we use in our lives to keep us sober.

Good luck to you,

M-Bob

Nonsensical

I would start by changing your passively aspirational declaration into something more definitive.
This = YOU
has to = already did

I stopped drinking.

You can do this.

Delilah1

Pouring the wine out was a great start. I am on Day 7 today after many previous day ones. I can hear Dee's words of "Do you have a plan?" Echo in my head, and they are so true. There are times I have been committed to reading, journaling, and positive alternatives to fill the time I would drink, and these are the times I have stayed sober. When I started to get lax with those things is when I started thinking "What is the harm in one glass of wine?" I am quite sure everyone on this forum can answer that question for me.
I think it comes down to really wanting it, I started January 1st this year, and I am determined to make 2016 my first sober year in quite some time.

I know you can do this too, just start with today, and then tomorrow with tomorrow...

Hope to see you on here Adelina, forget about the previous thousand day ones, just focus on this one!:-)

SoberinSyracuse

Have you considered going into a rehab program where they'll keep you sober until you get a little time under your belt? It gets easier after a week, a month, etc.

Anna

I'm glad you're back, Adelina.

teatreeoil007

You poured out what you had and that's good. I found that I needed to somehow cut off my access to alcohol. Hard to do when it's everywhere you go and legal and so many other people are drinking who don't seem to have a problem. Is there anyone in your face to face life you are accountable to? In my case the answer is yes and that helps me stay away from the booze too.

adelina123

you're right .... i will stop!!

JD4010

And here I thought I was the only person with a thousand "day ones".

adelina123

I've told my mr tonight I want to stop. I held back initially cos I knew that telling him would make me accountable, my AV didn't want that ... if I don't tell him then I won't have to answer to him if I fail right? I've told him now so stuff the AV lol

adelina123

If I did anything like that it would need to be outpatient as I have too many commitments to disappear.