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-   -   Becoming a recluse? Is it normal? Can't be (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/382471-becoming-recluse-normal-cant.html)

Anna 01-07-2016 08:11 AM

Charlie, it might be an idea to check with your dr to see if depression is a possibility?

I can't express how much volunteer work helped me. In my early recovery, I had moved to a new city and English was not the first language. Somehow, I followed my instincts and got involved in a fantastic volunteer organization. I made some of the best friends of my life there and the feelings of belonging and contributing helped my fragile self-esteem so much.

SoberInCLE 01-07-2016 08:30 AM

I agree with C23 and others that this is just part of the changes in our bodies/mind during early recovery. I recently - very recently - found motivation to do things again. But for the last 5 1/2 months I haven't wanted to do anything. I was super depressed too right before I quit drinking so that didn't help.

I read a lot of the links about PAWS on here and helped me understand what my mind was going through.

When it goes away, it just goes away, so try not to stress.

thomas11 01-07-2016 12:48 PM

Hi Charlie, thank you for starting this thread. I feel very similar to the way you feel and reading the responses gives me some comfort that I'm not alone.

OpenTuning said "One thing to perhaps keep in mind is that it may well be that your inner alcoholic, your AV, is still doing what it can to undermine your sobriety and get you drinking again. Along the lines of "if you don't give me booze, I'm not going to let you enjoy your life", "see how dull sober life is? Don't you miss drinking?". That kind of thing.

I get that. Anyway, I have to rely on the advice of others and understand we are retraining our brains, and it probably doesn't happen overnight.

teatreeoil007 01-07-2016 01:43 PM

I definitely need a certain amount of peace and quiet. But I don't know if I am needing that more in my life right now or not. Kind of hard to tell sometimes what is just good quality "alone time" and what might be getting into the area of unhealthy isolation.

So, I think it's good that you aware of this and getting in touch with yourself and reaching out to others here or wherever. Providing for a family is NO SMALL THING! Having a career and holding down a job is no small thing. In fact, SOME jobs/careers take a lot out of you and you need days/times to re-coup to stay healthy.

I'm never bored, and hope I'm not a boring person. What is wrong with just needing some time to yourself when you do nothing.

On the other hand, you could very well have some depression going on and not drinking could be causing you to feel depression more acutely [without the mask of alcohol]. I really do believe that a lot of people drink to cope with depression. I know I did. Hope this helps and hang in there...

Blessed Be...

Charlie117926 01-07-2016 07:15 PM

A big heartfelt thanks to everyone. I really appreciate it. I have to get past this. I have some activities lined up this weekend I just scheduled. An old friend (who is a non drInker) over for breakfast (I'm cooking)then an indoor car show with my son. Baby steps I guess. I always thought I was a socialite / extrovert. What if I am am truly a introvert since I became sober and didn't know it due to the last 20 years. That is a scary thought. But I want to know the real me...not "the old" me. There is just such a new unknown road out there.

SoberinSyracuse 01-07-2016 07:26 PM


Originally Posted by Charlie117926 (Post 5727452)
...Also not much drive to do anything else. I mean anything. Also I have always had a pretty good outlook for the most part but now have a sense of dread. Where did that come from?

...I have no interest in anything. I guess my question is, am I just in a funk or is there a "condition" for this phase of early sobriety I am dealing with?

It sounds like Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). Do a little research on it. One of the things that happens with long-term alcohol use is that the brain's pleasure center gets fried and we can't really enjoy a sober sunset anymore. A sense of dread, no pleasure and no motivation. Blah. Fortunately, this is not permanent. But it can take a while. Many months.

So, hang in. Talk to your physician and a nutritionist. They can give you some great advice on how to 1) manage any hardcore symptoms you have right now and 2) start taking care of your brain chemistry through good nutrition which may or may not include supplements.

Good for you! Stay the course and get some good advice on dealing with the PAWS.:scoregood


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