Here we go (again)
just keep swimming
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 504
Here we go (again)
Hi all
I started reading SR about 3 years ago. About 2 years ago I joined and even posted a thread about it (can't link to it as I'm not allowed) but needless to say, back then, I was determined to quit.
That lasted about a week, I think.
So here I am, 2 years later, starting again. About 2 months ago, I resolved to go sober, and set a quit date of 4th January 2016. Over Christmas I was on it hard - I think I got about as close to rock bottom as I've ever been - so much so, that I started looking forward to my quit date. Somewhere I found some new strength... I actually brought it forward.
Day 1 I did something I've never been able to do before - I cleared out all the booze in the house. This in itself was a cathartic experience. It also ramped up the pressure - if I want to drink I actually have to go out and buy it.
Today is Day 5, and so far it's been OK. I've been here before though so I know I have barely scratched the surface. That's why I'm writing this now, actually, because although I'm handling the physical aspects of it so far, the mental (addicted voice) bits are going through a noisy period. The "Wow you did 5 days, you can do this easy, anytime you want, just had a drink and do this another time" voice is raging. I'm conscious that as I become accustomed to the physical benefits of quitting (feeling healthy, clear head in the morning, being more productive) and that initial positive feeling wears off, there's a risk I'll forget what it's like when I'm drinking... my addicted voice (mav...) will do his best to trick me.
I'm so grateful for SR. There's so much positivity here that it's really helping people like me in the early stages. But what's helping most at the moment are the posts from the people who have been sober a long time (I can only dream of months at the moment, much less the 6+ months, years, 20+ years people...) but who still follow a simple plan to keep on top of it... never let your guard down. That's what tripped me up in the past.
Anyway... onwards to day 6.
-mav
I started reading SR about 3 years ago. About 2 years ago I joined and even posted a thread about it (can't link to it as I'm not allowed) but needless to say, back then, I was determined to quit.
That lasted about a week, I think.
So here I am, 2 years later, starting again. About 2 months ago, I resolved to go sober, and set a quit date of 4th January 2016. Over Christmas I was on it hard - I think I got about as close to rock bottom as I've ever been - so much so, that I started looking forward to my quit date. Somewhere I found some new strength... I actually brought it forward.
Day 1 I did something I've never been able to do before - I cleared out all the booze in the house. This in itself was a cathartic experience. It also ramped up the pressure - if I want to drink I actually have to go out and buy it.
Today is Day 5, and so far it's been OK. I've been here before though so I know I have barely scratched the surface. That's why I'm writing this now, actually, because although I'm handling the physical aspects of it so far, the mental (addicted voice) bits are going through a noisy period. The "Wow you did 5 days, you can do this easy, anytime you want, just had a drink and do this another time" voice is raging. I'm conscious that as I become accustomed to the physical benefits of quitting (feeling healthy, clear head in the morning, being more productive) and that initial positive feeling wears off, there's a risk I'll forget what it's like when I'm drinking... my addicted voice (mav...) will do his best to trick me.
I'm so grateful for SR. There's so much positivity here that it's really helping people like me in the early stages. But what's helping most at the moment are the posts from the people who have been sober a long time (I can only dream of months at the moment, much less the 6+ months, years, 20+ years people...) but who still follow a simple plan to keep on top of it... never let your guard down. That's what tripped me up in the past.
Anyway... onwards to day 6.
-mav
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,335
Good for you, on getting rid of all the alcohol in your house
Do you have some ideas of what you'll do, when you get an urge to drink? I used to take a lot of walks and of course, stayed close to SR.
Do you have some ideas of what you'll do, when you get an urge to drink? I used to take a lot of walks and of course, stayed close to SR.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by MAV 
Hi all
I started reading SR about 3 years ago. About 2 years ago I joined and even posted a thread about it (can't link to it as I'm not allowed) but needless to say, back then, I was determined to quit.
That lasted about a week, I think.
So here I am, 2 years later, starting again. About 2 months ago, I resolved to go sober, and set a quit date of 4th January 2016. Over Christmas I was on it hard - I think I got about as close to rock bottom as I've ever been - so much so, that I started looking forward to my quit date. Somewhere I found some new strength... I actually brought it forward.
Day 1 I did something I've never been able to do before - I cleared out all the booze in the house. This in itself was a cathartic experience. It also ramped up the pressure - if I want to drink I actually have to go out and buy it.
Today is Day 5, and so far it's been OK. I've been here before though so I know I have barely scratched the surface. That's why I'm writing this now, actually, because although I'm handling the physical aspects of it so far, the mental (addicted voice) bits are going through a noisy period. The "Wow you did 5 days, you can do this easy, anytime you want, just had a drink and do this another time" voice is raging. I'm conscious that as I become accustomed to the physical benefits of quitting (feeling healthy, clear head in the morning, being more productive) and that initial positive feeling wears off, there's a risk I'll forget what it's like when I'm drinking... my addicted voice (mav...) will do his best to trick me.
I'm so grateful for SR. There's so much positivity here that it's really helping people like me in the early stages. But what's helping most at the moment are the posts from the people who have been sober a long time (I can only dream of months at the moment, much less the 6+ months, years, 20+ years people...) but who still follow a simple plan to keep on top of it... never let your guard down. That's what tripped me up in the past.
Anyway... onwards to day 6.
-mav
I started reading SR about 3 years ago. About 2 years ago I joined and even posted a thread about it (can't link to it as I'm not allowed) but needless to say, back then, I was determined to quit.
That lasted about a week, I think.
So here I am, 2 years later, starting again. About 2 months ago, I resolved to go sober, and set a quit date of 4th January 2016. Over Christmas I was on it hard - I think I got about as close to rock bottom as I've ever been - so much so, that I started looking forward to my quit date. Somewhere I found some new strength... I actually brought it forward.
Day 1 I did something I've never been able to do before - I cleared out all the booze in the house. This in itself was a cathartic experience. It also ramped up the pressure - if I want to drink I actually have to go out and buy it.
Today is Day 5, and so far it's been OK. I've been here before though so I know I have barely scratched the surface. That's why I'm writing this now, actually, because although I'm handling the physical aspects of it so far, the mental (addicted voice) bits are going through a noisy period. The "Wow you did 5 days, you can do this easy, anytime you want, just had a drink and do this another time" voice is raging. I'm conscious that as I become accustomed to the physical benefits of quitting (feeling healthy, clear head in the morning, being more productive) and that initial positive feeling wears off, there's a risk I'll forget what it's like when I'm drinking... my addicted voice (mav...) will do his best to trick me.
I'm so grateful for SR. There's so much positivity here that it's really helping people like me in the early stages. But what's helping most at the moment are the posts from the people who have been sober a long time (I can only dream of months at the moment, much less the 6+ months, years, 20+ years people...) but who still follow a simple plan to keep on top of it... never let your guard down. That's what tripped me up in the past.
Anyway... onwards to day 6.
-mav
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ere-we-go.html
Glad you're back.....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 230
Originally Posted by MAV
So here I am, 2 years later, starting again.
Originally Posted by MAV
I did something I've never been able to do before - I cleared out all the booze in the house.
Originally Posted by MAV
there's a risk I'll forget what it's like when I'm drinking...
Congratulations on making it back here.
This thing is possible!
just keep swimming
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 504
Thanks all 
At the moment I've got sort of two plans. Short term / tactical plan which is how do I get through tomorrow, and the next week and so on. So I've started doing a lot of the things I did before the drinking got really bad. Have rejoined the gym, have picked up my drumsticks for the first time in however many years, we're also doing nights in at home where rather than just slob in front of the TV, we'll do something relaxing... either music & reading, or play a game, or do a jigsaw or something.
I'd become so obsessed (OCD) with my drinking routine that I'd get nervous if I didn't 'get my quota' for the day - but what this meant was my evenings and weekends were essentially a write-off for doing anything else. So doing some new/old/fun stuff again is great for trying to break that routine... just driving home from the gym at 9pm on a weds eve is crazy (and exciting)
The longer term / strategic plan is that for anyone who asks (other than my wife and a couple of close friends who I've talked with) is I'm doing 'dry january' so this should get them off my back for a while... then after that it'll be a case of carrying it on. I've got some goals (lose x amount of weight, get my drumming back to a standard etc.) so that I have something to aim for... goals that I won't hit for a good few months. I've also started a blog about all this - it's basically for my own purposes but the idea is that I put in it any thoughts or feelings or anything to do with this process, so that when I get weak in the coming days and months etc. I can look back at my own words to remind myself how I was actually feeling. my AV will try and tell me it was never that bad and it'll be fine to just have a drink, so I'm hoping that having my own words will be a good defence against that.
At the moment though, i'm trying to stop myself thinking about anything much more than a day or two in advance. My head begins to spin a bit when I think about the prospect of not drinking for like 3 months so I'm just focusing on now. It's nearly the weekend though... this will be a real challenge.
But anyway... Day 6 is in the bag! Onwards to day 7...
Originally Posted by Pondlady
Good for you, on getting rid of all the alcohol in your house Do you have some ideas of what you'll do, when you get an urge to drink? I used to take a lot of walks and of course, stayed close to SR.
Do you have some ideas of what you'll do, when you get an urge to drink? I used to take a lot of walks and of course, stayed close to SR.I'd become so obsessed (OCD) with my drinking routine that I'd get nervous if I didn't 'get my quota' for the day - but what this meant was my evenings and weekends were essentially a write-off for doing anything else. So doing some new/old/fun stuff again is great for trying to break that routine... just driving home from the gym at 9pm on a weds eve is crazy (and exciting)
The longer term / strategic plan is that for anyone who asks (other than my wife and a couple of close friends who I've talked with) is I'm doing 'dry january' so this should get them off my back for a while... then after that it'll be a case of carrying it on. I've got some goals (lose x amount of weight, get my drumming back to a standard etc.) so that I have something to aim for... goals that I won't hit for a good few months. I've also started a blog about all this - it's basically for my own purposes but the idea is that I put in it any thoughts or feelings or anything to do with this process, so that when I get weak in the coming days and months etc. I can look back at my own words to remind myself how I was actually feeling. my AV will try and tell me it was never that bad and it'll be fine to just have a drink, so I'm hoping that having my own words will be a good defence against that.
At the moment though, i'm trying to stop myself thinking about anything much more than a day or two in advance. My head begins to spin a bit when I think about the prospect of not drinking for like 3 months so I'm just focusing on now. It's nearly the weekend though... this will be a real challenge.
But anyway... Day 6 is in the bag! Onwards to day 7...
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