Trying times...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 18
Trying times...
Hello All,
I'm new to the site as of new years eve. I've read a few posts but this is my first.
I'm struggling with Alcoholism. I'm in my late 30s and started drinking in my early teens. I realized earlier in 2015 that I am an alcoholic and told myself and my wife I would do something about it but have failed over and over to get my stuff together. I have been drinking heavily for years but over the last two years things have really gotten way out of hand.
Finally last week I started taking Kudzu and was pretty impressed with the results. Unfortunately, after three days without a drink I had some friends over on Sunday and I got seriously wasted. I left the house and got pulled over. I had a DUI almost 10 years ago and this was something I thought I was past but clearly I'm not. Miraculously, I didn't get in any trouble this time and thank god no one was hurt but this is an all time low for me personally. I have kids now and the consequences for my decisions yesterday would have been life altering to say the least.
I promised my wife this morning that I am going to change, I admitted to her that I am an alcoholic. I made an appointment with a therapist but I don't know what else I should do since I cant see him until next week.
If anyone has any advice I'd greatly appreciate it.
I'm new to the site as of new years eve. I've read a few posts but this is my first.
I'm struggling with Alcoholism. I'm in my late 30s and started drinking in my early teens. I realized earlier in 2015 that I am an alcoholic and told myself and my wife I would do something about it but have failed over and over to get my stuff together. I have been drinking heavily for years but over the last two years things have really gotten way out of hand.
Finally last week I started taking Kudzu and was pretty impressed with the results. Unfortunately, after three days without a drink I had some friends over on Sunday and I got seriously wasted. I left the house and got pulled over. I had a DUI almost 10 years ago and this was something I thought I was past but clearly I'm not. Miraculously, I didn't get in any trouble this time and thank god no one was hurt but this is an all time low for me personally. I have kids now and the consequences for my decisions yesterday would have been life altering to say the least.
I promised my wife this morning that I am going to change, I admitted to her that I am an alcoholic. I made an appointment with a therapist but I don't know what else I should do since I cant see him until next week.
If anyone has any advice I'd greatly appreciate it.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
You're taking the first steps.
For me, getting a DWI was a turning point (after about 20 years of drunk driving).
Advice: Get connected with one or more recovery communities. Here is great. Also maybe one face to face. Then get a "plan" in place -- plan for how you're going to handle the void left by alcohol, how you're gonna handle the situations and moods and stuff that tempt you to drink, and how you are going to start putting the right things back into your life again.
Work with that therapist. Make recovery your Number One priority over anything else. You're young and have your life ahead of you. Your wife and kids deserve you at your best. YOU deserve your life at your best. Crush this now.
For me, getting a DWI was a turning point (after about 20 years of drunk driving).
Advice: Get connected with one or more recovery communities. Here is great. Also maybe one face to face. Then get a "plan" in place -- plan for how you're going to handle the void left by alcohol, how you're gonna handle the situations and moods and stuff that tempt you to drink, and how you are going to start putting the right things back into your life again.
Work with that therapist. Make recovery your Number One priority over anything else. You're young and have your life ahead of you. Your wife and kids deserve you at your best. YOU deserve your life at your best. Crush this now.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,999
Welcome Trulyme.
Please join the January 2016 class as this is a great way to get support. Also here is a link for making a recovery plan. It is in the stickies but you have to scroll down to find it.
This is an easy to read but detailed link which fills out the ideas a little more:
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
I hope you find this site as full of kind supportive people as I have
Please join the January 2016 class as this is a great way to get support. Also here is a link for making a recovery plan. It is in the stickies but you have to scroll down to find it.
This is an easy to read but detailed link which fills out the ideas a little more:
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
I hope you find this site as full of kind supportive people as I have
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Welcome to the family. 
I hope the awesome support here can help you get sober for good.
The only advice I can give is this: in order to be successful, you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink.
I hope the awesome support here can help you get sober for good. The only advice I can give is this: in order to be successful, you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: North of the border
Posts: 125
Originally Posted by least 
The only advice I can give is this: in order to be successful, you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink.
Thanks least.
This is it; after multiple attempts at staying sober these past few years, I just realized that I finaly want to be sober more than I want that drink. The holidays were a bit though at times, but now that it's behind us, I feel pretty good and over that hump of wanting to drink.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
I won't repeat what the others have said though posting here often and attending some AA meetings would be a great start.
Fundamentally though you need the commitment to stop drinking. And its not a half hearted commitment. Its the kind of commitment that you will treat your sobriety as the most important thing in your life. Because without that, eventually you will have nothing.
Let me give you an example.....you said you got wasted when your friends were round your house. This makes no sense to me. If you are serious about this you could have done the following:
1) told them you are not drinking in advance and tell them not to try to tempt you
2) made your house an alcohol free zone for them also. Nobody brings alcohol into your house
3) If they insists on bringing alcohol with them don't invite them or let them in
4) If they insist in drinking around you de-friend them
I am serious, you need to treat this with the respect it deserves. Its not a case of doing everything you did before and hope to extract the drink and miraculously you are a non drinker and the problem disappears. To quit and quit forever will be one of the most, if not THE most challenging thing you ever do. So you will need to build support around you, avoid places with alcohol until you feel ready and then rebuild you life as a sober life.
The good bit is that it is totally doable as many here will attest to. And you will feel amazing when you are sober. Good luck.
Fundamentally though you need the commitment to stop drinking. And its not a half hearted commitment. Its the kind of commitment that you will treat your sobriety as the most important thing in your life. Because without that, eventually you will have nothing.
Let me give you an example.....you said you got wasted when your friends were round your house. This makes no sense to me. If you are serious about this you could have done the following:
1) told them you are not drinking in advance and tell them not to try to tempt you
2) made your house an alcohol free zone for them also. Nobody brings alcohol into your house
3) If they insists on bringing alcohol with them don't invite them or let them in
4) If they insist in drinking around you de-friend them
I am serious, you need to treat this with the respect it deserves. Its not a case of doing everything you did before and hope to extract the drink and miraculously you are a non drinker and the problem disappears. To quit and quit forever will be one of the most, if not THE most challenging thing you ever do. So you will need to build support around you, avoid places with alcohol until you feel ready and then rebuild you life as a sober life.
The good bit is that it is totally doable as many here will attest to. And you will feel amazing when you are sober. Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 18
Thank you all for the advice and support.
SoberinSyracuse I don't have a plan like you described yet. That will be something I'm going to develop today. Thank you for that particular advice as simple as it sounds I don't think I would have thought of doing that.
ALinNS, the therapist is a cognitive behavioral therapist. I have gone to an addictions counselor and a cbt each in the past and I found the cbt to be a nice fit for me overall.
SoberinSyracuse I don't have a plan like you described yet. That will be something I'm going to develop today. Thank you for that particular advice as simple as it sounds I don't think I would have thought of doing that.
ALinNS, the therapist is a cognitive behavioral therapist. I have gone to an addictions counselor and a cbt each in the past and I found the cbt to be a nice fit for me overall.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
Originally Posted by TrulyMe
SoberinSyracuse I don't have a plan like you described yet. That will be something I'm going to develop today. Thank you for that particular advice as simple as it sounds I don't think I would have thought of doing that.
Wishing you the very best.
Andrew
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