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Hi Solow, Have you tried couples counselling? It sounds like your husband is also struggling with some aspects of the relationship. It may not be as simple as pigeon holing him as an aggressive, manipulative guy. Maybe there are aspects of your drinking or the marriage in general that are causing him to act in such a way? Or maybe he has acted like that in the past because he has been allowed to get away with it, maybe now its time to insist on and work towards a change?

Sitting him down and explaining why you had mixed feelings about his early return in a calm and non confrontational way may be a place to start.