Another try
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 2
Another try
Good morning everyone and Happy 2016.
I've lurked around this site for the better part of 3 years, but I finally registered so I can post and hopefully create a bit of accountability for myself.
I've tried for a couple of years now to quit in fits and starts, but other than a stretch of 30 days one time in the past several years, i average drinking about 3-5 (days) a week and it is rarely less than 6 beers on a given day that I do drink.
I am 34 years old and have just about had it with the same old routine.
So... Day 1.
Mlife27
I've lurked around this site for the better part of 3 years, but I finally registered so I can post and hopefully create a bit of accountability for myself.
I've tried for a couple of years now to quit in fits and starts, but other than a stretch of 30 days one time in the past several years, i average drinking about 3-5 (days) a week and it is rarely less than 6 beers on a given day that I do drink.
I am 34 years old and have just about had it with the same old routine.
So... Day 1.
Mlife27
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Braintree
Posts: 13
Hi Milf!. Hey I know its not Milf but I thought a bit of humour wouldnt hurt!.
Im 48 and stopped drinking like you a few times with various levels of success. I think the important thing is to keep on trying. Thats what I found. The people who try and try again do actually get there I think. Thats certainly the pattern for the majority of people at AA i got to know over the last couple of years. Its a painful way of getting sober now I look back on it but I can completely understand why 30 days can fail because I did too. You keep on going and one day you will scale the rock face all the way. There is an end to it and you can get to the top of the cliff and stand up and look down. Its worth the struggle.
Im 48 and stopped drinking like you a few times with various levels of success. I think the important thing is to keep on trying. Thats what I found. The people who try and try again do actually get there I think. Thats certainly the pattern for the majority of people at AA i got to know over the last couple of years. Its a painful way of getting sober now I look back on it but I can completely understand why 30 days can fail because I did too. You keep on going and one day you will scale the rock face all the way. There is an end to it and you can get to the top of the cliff and stand up and look down. Its worth the struggle.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Hi, MLife! Like you, I had a couple of short stints of sobriety but always went back to drinking. That's because I didn't realize more is required than just quitting drinking. Sobriety calls for a plan on how to handle the situations and urges that threaten us after 30 days, or a year, or whatever.
What are you doing for guidance, support, and putting a plan together?
What are you doing for guidance, support, and putting a plan together?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
Hi MLife and Welcome. My first attempt was 1996, at that point in detox and yes I went to a few meetings after however neither I or my x wife thought I was an alcoholic, so eventually I went back to drinking. I returned from a two month business trip (was in West Africa for a CDN company) we drank night and day, we blamed it on the heat, anyhow when I landed back home I knew I was in trouble, even though I drank on the flight back I had the shakes something fierce, called and somehow was taken into detox again, this was 1998, that is when I first admitted to myself I was an alcoholic and powerless over the stuff.
Since then I have lost count of relapses, took a 28 day Intensive Treatment Program about three years ago, stayed sober for almost two years but I stopped following my plan, online meetings, meditation, mindfulness, seeing a mental health professional (victim at the age of 13 and learned to self medicate using beer by 16) was making great strides but I stopped working the plan and receiving any help, I was very overconfident, exactly what the AV needed to start it's plan.
I found myself back drinking in November of last year, a one month binge I remember little about, what I do know is I lost everything except my dog, also lost another very good career, I was desperate this relapse, in and out of detox and the emerg 5 times, finally a doctor talked to me for half an hour about what was going on, gave me a medication to stop the thoughts from PTSD and I stopped drinking on Dec 12th and haven't even thought of picking up since, dusted the plan off, added to it and making great strides and I simply can't drink, I won't touch the stuff again because as I have been told and I believe, I do not have another recovery in me.
I managed to get my GF back, we had a wonderful summer together, damn near perfect, she is a Dr in mental health but was away on a conference , she didn't know any of this, I never brought it up as she doesn't drink, no specific reason just doesn't like it,the good news is we have so much love for each other when I sat her down and over five hours on New Years eve I told her everything, she agreed to give me a second chance, I will go to any length first for my sobriety and second for this relationship. Next is my adult children, that will come in time I pray.
That is my story in a nut shell, this sickness is a curse and it's only goal is to take everything away including our lives, I know that and I am taking this recovery very serious as I love life sober, just need to deal with these traumatic events and I receive weekly professional help for that.
The point of this is our addictive voice only cares about the bottle, has no regard for people around me or my life and every time I have relapsed it becomes stronger, never again will it get out of the cage I have it in, I have never taken sobriety so seriously.
I fully realize you are probably not be (as bad yet) but just a word of warning, it gets worse and this AV has no time line. Received an email this morning, a high school friend who was an alcoholic ended his life as he couldn't take it any more and could not seem to get the right help or determination to stop.
We play with a very dangerous beast, I am very mindful of that and for my relapse it only took one beer and I was gone for a month on a binge which I basically have very little memory of.
I wish you well and thanks for reading
Andrew
Since then I have lost count of relapses, took a 28 day Intensive Treatment Program about three years ago, stayed sober for almost two years but I stopped following my plan, online meetings, meditation, mindfulness, seeing a mental health professional (victim at the age of 13 and learned to self medicate using beer by 16) was making great strides but I stopped working the plan and receiving any help, I was very overconfident, exactly what the AV needed to start it's plan.
I found myself back drinking in November of last year, a one month binge I remember little about, what I do know is I lost everything except my dog, also lost another very good career, I was desperate this relapse, in and out of detox and the emerg 5 times, finally a doctor talked to me for half an hour about what was going on, gave me a medication to stop the thoughts from PTSD and I stopped drinking on Dec 12th and haven't even thought of picking up since, dusted the plan off, added to it and making great strides and I simply can't drink, I won't touch the stuff again because as I have been told and I believe, I do not have another recovery in me.
I managed to get my GF back, we had a wonderful summer together, damn near perfect, she is a Dr in mental health but was away on a conference , she didn't know any of this, I never brought it up as she doesn't drink, no specific reason just doesn't like it,the good news is we have so much love for each other when I sat her down and over five hours on New Years eve I told her everything, she agreed to give me a second chance, I will go to any length first for my sobriety and second for this relationship. Next is my adult children, that will come in time I pray.
That is my story in a nut shell, this sickness is a curse and it's only goal is to take everything away including our lives, I know that and I am taking this recovery very serious as I love life sober, just need to deal with these traumatic events and I receive weekly professional help for that.
The point of this is our addictive voice only cares about the bottle, has no regard for people around me or my life and every time I have relapsed it becomes stronger, never again will it get out of the cage I have it in, I have never taken sobriety so seriously.
I fully realize you are probably not be (as bad yet) but just a word of warning, it gets worse and this AV has no time line. Received an email this morning, a high school friend who was an alcoholic ended his life as he couldn't take it any more and could not seem to get the right help or determination to stop.
We play with a very dangerous beast, I am very mindful of that and for my relapse it only took one beer and I was gone for a month on a binge which I basically have very little memory of.
I wish you well and thanks for reading
Andrew
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 2
Thanks all!
I guess I don't have too much of a plan yet other than posting here... I know that is far from ideal, but I didn't really even plan on doing this today at all. I have just kind of thought about wanting to feel better (physically, mentally, emotionally) and I know that drinking isn't good for the health of any of those.
Regards,
MLife27
I guess I don't have too much of a plan yet other than posting here... I know that is far from ideal, but I didn't really even plan on doing this today at all. I have just kind of thought about wanting to feel better (physically, mentally, emotionally) and I know that drinking isn't good for the health of any of those.
Regards,
MLife27
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
I suggest digging into making a plan ASAP before your AV talks you into drinking again! Seize the moment! This can be your turning point!!!
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