rahrah

I just came across this....and I like it... 'Alcohol Free Lifestyle'.

Rather than looking at my sobriety as 'forcing a square peg into a round hole'....you know...living in a world of drinkers and not being able to drink....I like the idea of living an alcohol free lifestyle.

Like when we moved from the city to the country....it was a lifestyle change (boy was it ever!) .... but one that I have grown to love. Perhaps I need to change my idea of NOT DRINKING to a LIFE STYLE change.

Right now my head is still in the drink....I'm fretting about how I'm going to live in a world of drinkers...family, friends, parties, events...you know the drill....all include drinking. And I've felt like this square peg of sobriety trying to fit into this round hole of drinking.

Maybe looking at my life as an ALCOHOL FREE LIFESTYLE will help.

Whatever it takes....I am so early on in my sobriety that it is still very difficult to abstain and to envision the rest of my life without another drink....so whatever it takes for me to get through another day is welcome....even if it's a new way of looking at things each day...another idea in my Big Plan Binder tonight!

least

When my life no longer revolved around drinking, I had a lot more time to do the things I really liked, like walking my dogs. It was a complete lifestyle change, and one I am glad I made.

MIRecovery

This is a very wise post. I absolutely love my alcohol free lifestyle. The majority of the world is comprised of lite or nondrinkers. In my drinking days if you didn't drink a lot I didn't want to know you and if the event was alcohol free you wouldn't catch me there.

Today I have found out that I missed out on a ton of great sober times.

Sobriety is not about living your old life sober it is about creating a new and superior life that does not include drinking

FormerWineGirl

That is exactly what it is, a lifestyle change. The longer I am sober, the more I realize this. I never want to go back to my former lifestyle, which was controlled by alcohol.

As far as being around family and friends, and attending functions where most people are drinking, it takes time to find your footing but you will. It gets easier. You have an upbeat, positive attitude. I think you will acclimate well to being a non-drinker! ☺

Ruby2

Ditto what everyone above said. It took me time to create new habits but so worth it.

JohnQPublic

I really identify with your post. Sometimes I just cant imagine not drinking EVER again. That's when I try to stop thinking so big. For me its too much to think about never drinking again. So I just do a day or a bit at a time. I really liked the idea of the alcohol free lifestyle. For us its hard to imagine but so many people live their whole happy lives never drinking. Its just not part of their life. I envy them. My wife has never drank. I always thought it was a godsend as I always had a DD and could get wrecked. Now I am trying to live that life too. Just a day at a time for me. I wish the best for you. John

Arbor

That's a great way to look at it cause that's what happens ultimately. Once you realize that you aren't giving anything up. That your moving forward with your life you then can embrace all the good change that's happening. Taking it one day at a time is in my opinion a wise choice. You virtually eliminate the possibility of drinking by simply committing to 24 hours of complete sobriety. It's the number one goal of the day.

So, key word here: Embrace. Learn how to embrace your sobriety in your world of drinkers. I did it and found it incredibly liberating. So can you.

kamm

This is a great way to look at it! I tell myself and others that drinking doesn't fit into the lifestyle I'm working toward. I was at a new years party and declined drinks because(this is was my reason to the individual, I know I don't drink because I'm an alcoholic ) I was doing an endurance race the next day. Drinking just doesn't jive with who I want to be.

Thanks for sharing!

SoberinSyracuse

What a great thread!

I recently had a convo with a drinking buddy who wanted to know why I'm quitting. I told him a very important truth: That I'm interested in exploring peak performance, and the more I read and learn about it, the more I see alcohol is just not part of the picture. All the most successful people I admire are nondrinkers.

Now, I just need to flesh out some more specifics about what this "peak performance lifestyle" is going to look like.

MelindaFlowers

This was one of the pillars of my sobriety early on. A this was one of the things that got me through and helped me to realize that I can live without drinking. And boy is it TRUE. I was just reading today randomly that about 4% of people are alcoholics. Isn't that amazing?

It's been both surprising and refreshing to observe how little most people drink. I am like them now except I don't drink at all.

On a sidenote, my mother has a bottle of wine in her fridge that has been there for one year. It's about half empty.

sleepie

That sounds like a good idea rahrah, you seem to do well with seeing things in a different perspective like "F Day one" and never going back to day one... I still think that was a good idea too, when I think of day one or heck even week 5, no way!

Soberwolf

excellent post

IronPhoenix

This!!! Well said rahrah

rahrah

Brilliant! Thank you for this!

I know that to be successful at my sobriety I need to reinvent my idea of 'living' and this is exactly what I was looking for...this idea...not living my old life sober..but living a new life.

So well put! Thanks!

rahrah

Also....being an addict meant that I never associated with anyone unless they shared my passion for getting high....mostly that was by way of drinking....so now...30 yrs into my drinking.....my life is full of drinkers and users...that needs to change....to stay sober, a lifestyle change is needed.

I grew up with an alcoholic mother, surrounded by her friends and family who were heavy boozers too.....and that's what I 'learned'...that was a behaviour I imitated....I don't want that for my kids...I don't want to TEACH them that drinking is a part of everyday life. I thought I was being clever and tricking them (ya right) by having my wine in a coffee mug...but they knew I was having 'adult pop' all the time, everyday. It BREAKS MY HEART to think of my precious children having the same struggles with alcohol that I have had....and then on top of that to know I was responsible because I had TAUGHT them to drink....well that would just break what's left of me. I want to teach them how to be happy people and to deal with their emotions...not bury them, hide from them, numb them. And I can't teach them something I don't know how to do myself...the only way I'm going to get better is to stay sober.

This place has been a savior to me!!! Thanks to all for the amazing support and feedback. This time around my approach to sobriety is to LISTEN and put into ACTION what I hear. Rather than pontificating to anyone who will listen about all the things I already know about life and blah...blah...blah....This time I'm doing things differently and I'm determined to not just stay sober but to get better.

PurpleKnight

Great way forward Rahrah!!

For me I had to stop thinking about sheer abstinence, instead I was going to be like a non drinker, the lifestyle they had, and with that perspective many doors open in terms of activities, hobbies, interests, people!!