Coping with Shame
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Maryland
Posts: 321
I was thinking too, the shame is pretty much the same....whether I was drinking or not. When drinking, I'd feel the shame, but then I'd drink to make it go away. Next day, feel the shame....then drink it away.
When sober, I had no choice but to really feel the shame. No drinking it away. For me, that feeling did last longer since I had no way to "run away" from it but it forced me to feel it. Then it started fading and each time I let the shame in, it was not with the same intensity....a little less painful each time. Time sober has allowed me the freedom to move forward, instead constantly reliving all the bad from years past.
When sober, I had no choice but to really feel the shame. No drinking it away. For me, that feeling did last longer since I had no way to "run away" from it but it forced me to feel it. Then it started fading and each time I let the shame in, it was not with the same intensity....a little less painful each time. Time sober has allowed me the freedom to move forward, instead constantly reliving all the bad from years past.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 211
I'm probably sounding like a broken record by now, but I feel a ridiculous sense of gratitude by all your kind words, wisdom, and encouragement. Can't express this enough!
The shame is passing as I am learning to step outside my self centered thinking of "I am horrible, useless, bad, worthless, disgusting," etc. etc. Sometimes it's easy to forget that egocentric thinking can go both ways such as either having a superiority complex or having an inferiority complex. I will strive to be balance and I think sobriety and clarity of mind will do that.
The past is over and a ghost, but I can learn from it and make TODAY as good and worthwhile as I can and that's all I can do and that's OKAY. Tomorrow is an illusion yet to be known so there is no sense in fretting about it. Right NOW what is the next Right and Good thing do I dwell on and do? That is the only question I need to ponder which for me today is very simple; stay sober, do laundry, run errands, and be kind to myself and others.
The shame is passing as I am learning to step outside my self centered thinking of "I am horrible, useless, bad, worthless, disgusting," etc. etc. Sometimes it's easy to forget that egocentric thinking can go both ways such as either having a superiority complex or having an inferiority complex. I will strive to be balance and I think sobriety and clarity of mind will do that.
The past is over and a ghost, but I can learn from it and make TODAY as good and worthwhile as I can and that's all I can do and that's OKAY. Tomorrow is an illusion yet to be known so there is no sense in fretting about it. Right NOW what is the next Right and Good thing do I dwell on and do? That is the only question I need to ponder which for me today is very simple; stay sober, do laundry, run errands, and be kind to myself and others.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 21
I can totally relate to your situation. Waking up and having a panic attack because of all the embarrassment I caused myself.
It does get better. As you progress with your sobriety and have support, you will feel happier and proud of yourself. The shame won't be as significant and will definitely fade over time. It helps to know that pretty much everyone on the planet has been through shameful situations and in the end, we just get over it.
Good luck Empath
It does get better. As you progress with your sobriety and have support, you will feel happier and proud of yourself. The shame won't be as significant and will definitely fade over time. It helps to know that pretty much everyone on the planet has been through shameful situations and in the end, we just get over it.
Good luck Empath
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