I drank
 

I drank again. I wanted to tell on myself, I'm already contemplating buying more. This must stop.

If you cannot decide to make a firm decision possibly you're not done.

Mountainman

I don't know what you're going through, bluedog, but is drinking going to make it any better? It's best to stop right now. Go for a walk or something to take your mind off drinking.

I hope you don't get any more. Drinking only makes things worse. :(

Welcome to the forum, you will find the support you need here to help you, be aware of your addictive voice as that is what gets us, go buy more, play the tape through, if you do where will it lead. The most important question in my mind was I will go to any length to get my booze, will I go to any length to save my life, the answer was simple the work very difficult at first but it gets easier.

Keep reading the posts here, you are among people who understand and can help and support you as we want to see you beat this and you can, remember you are in control.

Do more than tell on yourself blue dog.

Don't buy more booze, log back in, stick around, and let the community talk you out of a really bad idea :)

D

Don't do it bluedog.
Just give up the idea and log back on here,
take a walk, cook some food, take a shower.

A lapse gets to be a multi-day binge way too easy. . .

As long as I had poison in my system
affecting the way I think, the way I act,
then there won't be anything or anyone
to convince me otherwise I have a
drinking problem or need help because
nothing will penetrate thru my thick,
sick skull.

Thank goodness my family intervened
on me 25 yrs ago sending me into the
hands and care of those capable of helping
me get better.

It took several calls for them to find
out who could take care of me because
I wasn't willing to go on my own, so
a police car was ordered to pick me up
and take me to a physciatric hospital
to determine my mental state of mind.

Come to find out after I passed all their
test, I only had a drinking problem. That
I couldn't control my drinking. That I
had an addiction problem.

Wow, is that all I said gleefully to myself.

Whew..!!!! And I thought it was
gonna be worst. Man, I can handle
that. Easy easy, so I thought.

I spent 2 weeks instay rehab when
they were to let me go because of
insurance. Then they thru me a curve
ball telling my family that if I went
home at that time, I would surely
drink again and wanted to send me
off to a halfway house further away
from my family for a long time.

I begged that they not do that and
If I could complete a 28 day program
right were I was and do whatever I
needed to do to not be sent away.

They agreed and I remained, allowing
more information about my addiction
to be taught to me and learning a recovery
program to take home with me to
incorporate in my everyday life.

They did tac on a 6 week aftercare
program after I was released and yes
I completed that too.

I went back to my little family, to my
daily life, but it was up to me to take
what was taught to me and either
throw it away or use it to my advantage.

And I did and I still do use what
was taught to me to my own
advantage some many one days
at a time sober for 25 yrs now.

Today I hold my recovery and sobriety
close to my heart. My sobriety is a gift,
a treatable program of recovery that
was taught to me and use in my daily
life in all my affairs to achieve health,
happiness and honesty.

I wasn't willing in the beginning to
let go of my addiction because I didn't
know how. I tried soooo many times
to control it and failed soooo many
times.

It wasn't until I entered recovery
and was handed a program of recovery
that I became openminded, willing to
do whatever I needed to do for myself,
to go to whatever lengths I needed to
go to remain sober and learned how
to live an honest life without killing
myself with my addiction to poison.

I want my sobriety. I want my life. I
want the gifts that come with living
a recovery life. I am willing to continue
to do whatever I need to do today to
remain sober. I refuse to let or allow
anyone pr anything to mess with it or
tell me otherwise that life is great with
alcohol because it isn't.

It, alcohol, wasnt working 25 yrs
ago for me and it still wont 25 yrs later.

I wanted my sobriety. I have my
sobriety. I live for my sobriety.
I am blessed with my sobriety.

You can too. :)

You can draw a line under alcohol once and for all, SR is in your corner!! :)