Calle

It almost feels like a miracle to have relief from what was becoming crippling obsessive anxiety, depression and guilt I love it.
But l had a man over twice that I have been seeing off and on for about 2 years. He comes over we would go get tequila and chasers food watch movies cuddle hold hands as we/I get increasingly affectionate etc. Usually go get more alcohol before the night is through. But l have hung out with him twice this week sober (he drank a bit though) and realized I have no attraction to him at all. Not even slightly likable suddenly. I found myself just wishing he would just leave both times so I could just enjoy watching Dexter alone lol. Whereas before while drinking I never wanted him to leave.

Mountainmanbob

There is a strong message there.
The liquid devil leads us in the wrong direction.

Mountainmanbob

ALinNS

Calle, Stay strong. It is my experience as a recovering alcoholic to stay clear of people that drink. I can sit across from anyone and watch them consume, even be at a party and never in my struggles with this addiction was it an initial trigger to drink. What I did discover a few years back in my first relationship after being married, the lady I had fallen in love with was/evolved into a very heavy drinker, I was able to endure almost two years and stay sober, yes she knew I can't and do not drink. What happened however is it wore me down as she drank every time we were together, and don't get me wrong she was generally happy when she did but in the end I broke and I had a wicked relapse, I ended up walking away, I had to and it was hard, it was one of the best but hardest decisions I have had to make in life.

So I now have someone in my life that I give thanks for every morning and night for her, I can finally be in love with someone who knows and respects I can't drink and since she doesn't, no she has never had an addiction, she is just a lady who can take it or leave it and respects and loves me enough that she doesn't drink.

Those people both male and female are out there, I took a course that is very similar to one taught by SMART called Healthy Relationships, that course helped me weed out who was good to have in my life and who was not, it also helped me establish boundaries which to me is critical in our journey.

All the best for a 2016

Andrew

Calle

Yes every day I don't drink I am seeing what a bad direction it was.

Starting to realize how much of my life was affected by drinking after work 5-6 days a week. ALL OF IT! :P
Happy New Year Mountainmanbob.
Have a wonderful day!

Anna

I know that I underestimated the impact alcohol had on every aspect of my life. It was only looking back that I could see the lack of good judgement in my life.

Calle

Andrew that is a wonderful ending. Yeah I was telling him how much better I felt mentally and physically after a just a couple days of deciding to stop drinking and how I read that it could be the source of my severe anxiety and within a half hour he offered me a shot. Wtf? Its a toxic relationship and as long as I don't have the first drink I won't be calling him imploring him to cone over.
Happy New Year
Thank you!

GnikNus

Alcohol affects so many things physically, but it also impairs our judgement about people. In my drinking days I would sometimes find myself in the company of people I would never be around if I were sober. You've sobered up and realize you have no connection to this person, and that the connection was based on alcohol. The affection/attraction to him was based on consumption of a chemical.
It's a testimony to go alcohol can warp things.

PurpleKnight

Yeap alcohol affected my life in so many ways.

But through a Sober lens the world can look completely different!!

Fly N Buy

Not surprising when we are sick (drinking alcoholically) we attract and are attracted towards other sick people. As we remove alcohol many things start to become much clearer and we ask ourselves what the heck was I thinking!

ALinNS

Calle, I have found it takes time for the fog to lift, it's during this time I have to be very mindful of my actions, I try and keep busy, I have to. You have enough time in to play the tape through to the end, it gets easier and our mind will become more clear and I am a firm believer this AV we have looses more and more control every hour we do something for us that is healthy, coming here, join a meeting online, do whatever it takes.

Maybe for today, stay close, work on a short term plan that will help Calle, maybe see these as goals and go after them.

Mountainmanbob

Thank you -- you too.

Once we sober up we realize that we need to let go of some old ideas. At times things and or people that we used to hang around with now no longer look to be a good moral place in which for us to be. Nothing wrong with realizing today what we should or should not be doing. Being sober in mind and body.

MB